I Had 1001 Things I Was Going To Do. I Sorta Did One.

I had 1001 things planned for my first week after session closed down.

I was going to storm the gates of heaven and get flaming arrows of direction in reply.

I was going to clean my house from top to bottom.

I was going to move the garden statue of Our Lady that’s been languishing in my “music room” (Don’t laugh. There is a piano in there.) outside and buy an arbor thingy and plant flowers and create a prayer garden in my back yard.

I was going to get up every single morning and work out like Bette Midler in Ruthless People with the same, awe-inspiring results.

I had 1001 things I was going to do.

What I did instead was collapse into a heap. We went out after sine die and had a wonderful dinner, just me and my family. Then, after almost no sleep, I got up Saturday and putzed around, too tired to make sense of myself. I began a Novena to Our Lady. I did do that. Prayer is the one thing on my list that I sorta did.

My husband and I went to vigil mass and back out to eat again. Then, we came home and I watched tv like a zombie.

It’s always like that after session shuts down. I don’t know what I was thinking when I made all these plans. The closing days of session are intense. And I mean INTENSE.

After it’s over, I’m still jazzed for days, and at the same time, I’m all rubbery and shot through and through. It takes a while to get my mind right and my body rested. Add to that the fact that this was my last sine die, and you’ve got a recipe for crash down time.

My youngest son and one of his friends moved my office home for me on Monday. I spent last week opening boxes and rather listlessly trying to figure out where to put everything. I need more bookshelves. And I am going to give a couple of the paintings away. I have no idea where I’m going to hang the rest of them or where everything will go. I still have a couple of boxes that are partially unpacked and two drawers that are full of things I haven’t found a place for. I also have a couple of boxes of books and posters/awards that are still at the capitol that I need to go get.

As for cleaning the house, nope.

Still needs doing.

Storming heaven? I prayed, but there were no messages wrapped around the shafts of flaming arrows coming my way. The only answer I got was when I rather lazily prayed and asked if it would be alright to skip Sunday mass yesterday (That’s how low my laziness had sunk me.) I definitely got the feeling that I should get up and go to church. So I did.

I dreamed about my constituents several times during the week. They were anxiety dreams, worrying about who is going to take care of them. That’s the hardest part, leaving my people to someone else’s care.

My friends gave me a lovely party yesterday. It was a complete surprise. I had thought they were going to do something when the session closed down, then, when it didn’t happen, I was ok with it. The date of the shut-down had been uncertain right up until the end. So I assumed it was too uncertain to plan anything.

I was totally surprised — astonished — when my husband drug me into a restaurant yesterday. I mean, I don’t do restaurants on the Sabbath. In fact, I thought he’d gone daft. He insisted I go with him back to where the restrooms were, which I thought was plenty strange. As long as I’ve known him, he’s gone to the restroom by himself. Then, he walked past the restrooms and into the kitchen. I wouldn’t follow at first, and he had to insist.

By this time, I was convinced he had lost it. We went through the kitchen and into another room and I walked into a party.

They completely surprised me. I was thrilled. And touched.

So that’s my week off. I need to pray more. In fact, I’m going to start a 54 day Novena, consecrating the rest of my life. I did the St Louis de Montfort thing of consecrating my life to Jesus through Mary a while back. This is just a sort of renewal of that.

I realized yesterday that I already know what I should do. I also realized that God has given me everything I need to do it. I was wanting direction when I already have the road map. As for my constituents, I am going to pray for them and their future as part of the 54 day Novena. I have to let go of taking care of them, and that, as I said, is the hardest part.

So, this letter to my friends, telling you what I did on my little vacation is my first post after my week off. To be honest, I’d like to take another week. I’m just now getting my head above water a bit.

But writing this disjointed post is a good palate cleanser. Telling you all about it wipes a bit of the dust off my mind.

It’s time to get this deal on the road. I think I’ll begin by doing a bit of that working out I more or less skipped last week. You see, I don’t have to get into my car and drive to work. My office is just on the other side of the living room. And my recumbent bike/elliptical/Total Gym (yes, I’ve have all that; not that it’s done me any good) is in the spare bedroom down the hall.

Wish me luck, boys and girls. I’m re-inventing myself.

Wagons, ho!

  • SisterCynthia

    I can’t say I’m surprised you needed a week just to start returning to human. ;) You should probably let yourself do it again, or at least limit your posts to one little ramble a day or less, and go ahead and get your home life a little more organized. We’re all still out here and will be here when you’re back. Taking time to breathe is the important thing! :)

    • hamiltonr

      Good advice Sister. I think I will start slow. In fact, as zoned as I feel, I may not have a choice. :-)

  • FW Ken

    You made me laugh, Rebecca. Every so often, I’ll take a day off, with plans to do somethings that need doing. What gets done? Nothing, or next to nothing. But I do go back to work more effective, or at least, less ineffective.

    Did miss the blog. Glad you are back, glad you rested.

    • hamiltonr

      Thanks Ken. It’s good to I’m not the only one with big plans and little follow-through.

  • http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/ Manny

    She’s tanned, rested, and ready to go. :) Welcome back!

    • hamiltonr

      :-)

  • pagansister

    Welcome back! Totally enjoyed your post, as it sounded like my first week or so after school would close for the summer! (back before retirement). Move at whatever pace you need to to adapt to your next adventure.

    • hamiltonr

      Thanks.

  • Ray Glennon

    Welcome back. We missed you on your well earned break.
    A priest from the British West Indies said (in his lilting accent) in his homily at a Mass my family attended many years ago, “God takes his time in doing his own thing. And we are impatient.” I encourage you to be patient with yourself as you embark on this next phase of your life. And, as St. Francis said to those he met along the way, “May the Lord give you peace.”
    Blessing,
    Ray

    • hamiltonr

      Thank you, Ray. Sound advice.

  • Stefanie

    This is good news, Rebecca! I loved every word of this post.
    My husband just retired again (the first time was when I was pregnant with our now-22 year old youngest child). He went back to work 14 years ago so that I could retire and work for God and my parish. He’s now 67 and done with working life, bless him. So now he is around all the time, which both our daughters and I are trying hard to be ‘adjustable’ in that the t.v. is now on all the time : ) He has US cleaning and gardening and I just spent the last five hours attacking the junk in our garage (it’s mostly my junk so it’s only right that I do it) so that he won’t think I’m a slacker. : ) He has already arranged for a junk man to come and haul our junk away within two weeks, so the whip has been cracked. But it is delightful that he had worked hard since he was 14. He deserves this time of “I don’t have to be anywhere.’ He will take a month off and then start figuring out what’s next.
    This Saturday night, we went to Mass together for the first time in years (he always worked on weekends). It was weird, introducing him to my Mass buddies who probably thought I was a widow all this time…

    • hamiltonr

      It sounds like you’re starting a new life with your hubby Stefanie. Enjoy one another. :-)


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