There was a time when I let my babies “style” my hair while I read or watched tv.
Now, I just give them money.
There was a time when I let my babies “style” my hair while I read or watched tv.
Now, I just give them money.
… and IT’S A SNOW DAY!!!
The school’s are closed, hubby is home from work and we’re cooking a turkey.
You Yankees don’t know the first thing about how to do cold weather.
Note: This post was first published a couple of years ago.
My husband forgot about the first Valentine’s Day after our marriage.
I didn’t get so much as a card.
That was what you might call a mistake on his part; one he has learned not to repeat.
The reason he’s learned this is because I told him. I didn’t go home from work that day (I was in the legislature at the time) and hit him with my purse. But I did tell him. And the next Valentine’s Day, I told him in advance.
Which leads me to half my point.
Women, if you want a happy marriage, do not assume that your husband understands what you want. Based on decades of happy marriage to the one and only love of my life, I can tell you that he does not.
He. Doesn’t. Have. A. Clue.
I grew up with an involved father-in-residence and then married another y chromosome type person and have lived out the rest of my life since then with him. This experience has led me to form a theory about the male brain.
It doesn’t think like ours.
From what I can tell, the male of the human species thinks that if he makes sure you go to sleep in a warm bed under a roof that doesn’t leak after eating three square meals and that every man around knows that insulting you will get him in a fight, well then, that’s love. And you should know it.
If he comes home at night and doesn’t dally with other women, if he would rather cut his arm off than raise a hand to you, if he provides for, protects and cossets you, he thinks he’s done everything any woman with half a brain could possibly want. He’s finished. Done. Through. In his mind, he’s got that good husband stuff handled and now it’s time to get a brewski and plop down in front of the television for some football.
You, on the other hand, need to be told that he loves you. You think that all this protecting, providing, cosseting stuff is just a sort of baseline that any decent person would do. You don’t want a bag of groceries … or … well … you do want a bag of groceries, but you want something that feeds your heart as well as your stomach. You want affection. And you want a few complimentary words thrown in with the affection.
The trouble is, he’ll never know this if you don’t tell him. In fact, if your way of telling him is to go off and throw a hissy fit and cry and slam doors and answer “Nothing!” when he asks you what’s wrong, he’ll never figure it out. Nothing comes of that kind of behavior except a husband who is convinced he’s married someone who has mental problems, and a wife who honestly thinks her husband does not love her and that she’s probably unattractive to him to boot.
So, the first half of the point I’m making is, wives, talk to your husbands. Tell him what you want. I don’t mean yell at him and demand what you want. Just … tell him. Be specific. If you want him to take you out to dinner, say so. If you want a box of chocolates, say that. Do not make him try to figure it out. He won’t. Because he can’t. His brain doesn’t think like yours.
After you’ve told him, let it go until the next Valentine’s Day or whatever it is you were telling him about rolls around again. Then, gently, gently remind him. As the big day comes into view (be it your birthday, your anniversary, Valentine’s Day or whatever) start reminding him a few weeks out. You don’t have to make an issue of it. In fact, you shouldn’t make an issue of it. Just use your knowledge of him and your relationship to go about the business of reminding him in the gentlest way possible. If you don’t remind him, he won’t remember. Not, mind you, because he doesn’t love you, but because he’s a man, and their brains don’t think the same way ours do.
Which leads to the second half of my point.
Men, if you want a happy marriage, listen to your wife. When your wife tells you and reminds you, that means she’s handed you the ball and you need to run with it.
Do not quibble about this. Listen to your wife. Go forth and buy chocolates, or make dinner reservations or whatever. It does not matter that you just rotated the tires on her car and filled it up with gas. If she wants dinner and a movie, give her dinner and a movie. And for pete’s sake, tell her she’s pretty. Stand in front of your bathroom mirror with the door locked and practice if you have to, but say it.
Wives, talk to your husbands. Husbands, listen to your wives.
And while you’re at it, forgive one another for the subtle differences between the sexes that make this post necessary. There’s a reason God made us like this. When husbands and wives cooperate with one another this way, love between them grows. Our differences, which can drive us apart if we are stupid about them, can also meld us together for life.
Now, husbands and wives, start talking and listening. Your lives and your family will be the better for it.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
My son left his puppy in our back yard early one morning before anyone got up.
He texted this message: Left the puppy. Pet her and stuff.
The rest was rock n roll.
Chris O’Dowd, who evidently stars in one of those cable series I’ve never watched called Girls, has shared his original thinking on the topic of religion.
Mr O’Dowd says in an interview with GQ that he used to be “liberal” about religion, and thought it was ok for other people to have ideas he disagreed with. Then, he got his brain washed and now he knows that “religion is ruining the world.” He says that there will be a “turning point” where religion is “going to be like racism.” Because people will decide “you’re not allowed to say that! It’s mad!”
He also informs us that President Obama lies when he says he’s a Christian, telling us, “I mean, you really think that Barack Obama believes in God? No way!”
It’s a bit difficult to take these deep thoughts seriously, so I don’t think I will. Take them seriously, that is. I mean, (to quote Mr O’Dowd) let’s look at what he said.
Religion is ruining the world. That one’s pretty well been done to death.
People will decide you’re not allowed to say that. How many times, in how many ways, have we seen attacks on religious people’s right to freedom of speech? I doubt if this thoughtful young actor understands that’s what he’s supporting, btw. I think he’s just repeating something he heard someone else say and probably doesn’t understand its implications.
President Obama is not a Christian? Do tell.
All in all, what this interview shows — as if we needed to be shown — is the level of non-thinking that goes into bashing religious people in our society. It also demonstrates why the programming we see on television is so biased against faith.
I wouldn’t take Mr O’Dowd’s thinking too seriously. There’s not an original idea here. If his industry’s opinion changes, he’ll get his brain washed again and say something else that’s just as deep and thoughtful as this.
I slipped away from the grind to have an itty bitty medical procedure today. It was nothing serious; just one of those things you sometimes have to do.
When I woke from the anesthesia, got a bit ungrogged and checked my email, I thought at first that the Onion had hacked The Anchoress’ blog. I found my fearless leader intoning on what may be the winner of the Most Absurd News Story Rolling Around the Internet Contest. These events actually occurred about a year ago, but are getting noticed now.
It seems that Antonio Darden, a gay hairdresser in oh-so-chi-chi Santa Fe, declined to cut Governor Susana Martinez’s hair because she opposes gay marriage and he had decided in his little church of one that he would violate his moral beliefs to continue as her hairdresser.
The governor, in a moment of startling sanity, just rang up someone else and got them to do her hair.
Because, you see, it turns out the Mr Darden is not the only hairdresser in New Mexico.
And this is not about segregation, slavery, lynchings or basic human rights.
Everybody’s free here to do what they want. And that’s as it should be.
Aside from the governor’s commonsense response, there is a serious point in all this silliness that I would like to make. I’m turning off the laugh track for a moment because I want Public Catholic readers to understand the issues here.
When people refuse to provide wedding cakes, flowers and photos for gay weddings because they feel that it would violate their faith and place them in the position of being cooperators with sin, they are acting in response to two-thousand-year-old teachings. They are following the dictates of legitimate churches which have existed far longer than this Republic. They are, in short, exercising their First Amendment rights to be exempted from an activity on the basis of personal conscience and religious faith.
An important point is that none of these things are essential services, such as say, police, fire protection or emergency health care.
Even though cakes and flowers do not rise to the level of warfare (cough) the underlying principles of the issue make it analogous with conscientious objectors in time of war. This country’s historic respect for religious belief applies even in times of war, when those whose faith requires it are either exempted from military service altogether or placed in non-combatant positions.
I have a personal friend who took personal conscience exemption during the Vietnam War based on his belief that it was morally wrong to kill another person. I also knew a number of Mennonite boys who did the same thing.
The hairdresser’s pique is simply a personal political statement. He’s free to make it, and I’m glad the governor “gets” that.
I’ve known hairdressers who refused to cut hair for people for lots of reasons.
If one of the pazillion hairdressers in New Mexico doesn’t want to cut your hair, then you probably don’t want him or her to be whacking at your hair, anyway.
This won’t go on too long, or be carried too far, for the simple reason that hairdressers, gay or otherwise, have gotta eat. If they refuse service to everyone who doesn’t agree with their politics concerning an issue like gay marriage (on either side of the question), then they’ll end up reducing their business, and their income, by half. They will also increase their competitor’s business by that same half.
If that’s what they want to do, I say go for it. It is, as they say, a free country.
By msnbc.com staffA Santa Fe hairdresser is waging his own boycott of sorts: He is denying service to the governor of New Mexico because she opposes gay marriage.Antonio Darden, who has been with his partner for 15 years, said he made his views clear the last time Gov. Susana Martinez’s office called to make an appointment.”The governor’s aides called not too long ago wanting another appointment to come in,”Darden told KOB.com. “Because of her stances and her views on this, I told her aides, ‘no.’ They called the next day asking if I’d changed my mind about taking the governor in, and I said ‘no’ again.”Martinez has said marriage should be between a man and a woman.Darden, who said he has cut the governor’s hair three times, said he won’t serve her unless she changes her mind about gay marriage.”If I’m not good enough to be married, I’m not going to cut her hair,” Darden toldThe New Mexican on Wednesday.”I think it’s just equality, dignity for everyone,” he told KOB.com. “I think everybody should be allowed the right to be together.”
Scott Darnell, a spokesman for Martinez, said: “The governor has been very clear that she does not support gay marriage but does believe that all people should be judged on their merits and not discriminated against.”He noted that Darden was not her usual hairdresser and that following reports of his decision, the governor’s office got calls from more than 10 salons on Wednesday saying they’d be “happy to cut the governor’s hair,” Darnell told The New Mexican.
Ravi Zacharias describes an interview where Richard Dawkins overstepped a bit in his never-ending battle against Christianity. He ended up looking almost as foolish as he says Christians are.
Stay with the video to the end. Ravi runs the audio of the interview he’s describing.