Congress Gridlocks Over Completely Blank Bill

Tired of Congressional gridlock?

So long as partisan ambitions to get and keep power outweigh concerns for the good of this country and its people, there is no end in sight.

We might as well laugh.

This just in from The Onion:

Congress Fiercely Divided Over Completely

Blank Bill That Says And Does Nothing

 Jul 25, 2013
Congressional leaders in both parties have failed to find common ground on the completely text-free bill.

WASHINGTON—A blank piece of legislation that says nothing, does nothing, and contains no text whatsoever has been the source of heated debate in Washington this week, and has sharply divided Congress along partisan lines, Beltway sources confirmed Thursday.

Known as S.0000, the bill, which doesn’t have sponsors, co-sponsors, or an author, has reportedly drawn starkly contrasting opinions from legislators in both the Senate and House of Representatives, and has paved the way for a major legislative battle in coming months.

“At a time when millions of Americans are still struggling, we simply cannot afford this kind of devil-may-care federal policy,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), angrily waving the blank stack of papers in front of reporters. “We will not risk leading the American people into further hardship simply so the Obama administration can once again do whatever they please, regardless of the consequences. As it is now, the bill is both short-sighted and utterly irresponsible.”

Bill S.0000, which has sharply divided lawmakers.

“Frankly, we need to get back to the negotiating table and make some major changes before members of my party would even consider putting this up for a vote,” McConnell continued. “And if my friends on the other side of the aisle try push it through, well, they’ll pay the consequences at the ballot box.”

According to reports, 45 Democratic senators are in favor of the bill—which contains no text whatsoever—while 41 Republicans are staunchly opposed. At least three Republicans, including Sens. Richard Burr (R-NC), David Vitter (R-LA), and Susan Collins (R-ME), have said they would consider crossing the aisle and backing the bill, an announcement that drew fierce criticism from GOP leadership and primary threats from members within their own party. (Read the rest here.)

Huff Post Article Accuses Pope Francis of Perpetuating Religious Prejudice

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. Jesus Christ

Remember the beautiful moment in his inauguration when Pope Francis stopped the procession, got out and blessed the disabled man? Remember the expression on that man’s face as he looked up at the Holy Father? 

That moment was the whole event, perhaps the papacy and the Church itself, caught in one man’s face as he looked at his pope. At least it was for me. 

Evidently, certain Church-bashers saw something else. 

I saw a headline this morning announcing “Pope Perpetuates Religious Prejudice by Blessing Disabled Man.” 

And no, it wasn’t on The Onion.

It was on Huff Post politics, written by the “Distinguished Professor, University of Illinois at Chicago” Lennard Davis. I won’t link to it, so don’t ask me. But I will say that I read the article and it wasn’t satire. The distinguished professor meant what the headline said. 

The article was chock full of the usual self-righteous ramblings about what the pope should do if he “really” wants to help disabled people. It also contained this nifty little question: “Is there something inherently special about being disabled that requires a blessing?” 

I could counter with all sorts of things, but I may have already given this claptrap more weight than it deserves. 

My grandmother had a saying: If you could buy him for what he’s worth and sell him for what he thinks he’s worth, you could (insert huge payment to somebody.) 

I suggest that we apply that saying to this article. 

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Onion: “Pope To Identify With Catholic Youth By Giving Up On Catholicism”

Will Sommers. He kept his head.

Henry VIII had Will Sommers, the court jester, who got away with saying things to Henry that would have made anyone else who said them “shorter by a head.”

In present-day America, we have jesters from every point on the political compass vying for our laughs. Unfortunately, a good number of these people are soooo political and their humor is soooo mean that it’s only funny in a nasty, gotcha sort of way. The power of good humor is its pretense-stripping honesty. But a lot of today’s politically-motivated humor is as dishonest as most campaign ads.

Humor can show us truths that are right in front of us but that we don’t see, probably because they are right in front of us. If it’s well done, it can do this in a way that illuminates and edifies. If it’s powered by malice, it can simply hurt.

Every so often a bit of humor comes along that illuminates a current reality and gives us a laugh along with it. That’s satire, and satire is what The Onion dishes up in its latest offering on the Holy Father, titled “Pope To Identify With Catholic Youth By Giving Up On Catholicism.”

The attitudes this bit of spoofery points out regularly show up in Public Catholic’s comboxes. That may be why I found it so funny. First Things put this Onion piece on their site, and I’m going to link to it here:

Onion: “Pope To Identify With Catholic Youth By Giving Up On Catholicism”

And, oh yes Bill S, this one’s for you.


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