Nun Learns Thanksgiving Lesson from Homeless Man

Several years ago I received this email from a Dominican sister for Thanksgiving. I asked permission to share the reflection because it was an example to me of the beauty of religious life and the call to compassion in the Christian life. When we ask God to enter our hearts, he changes us and allows us to see his face in that of others, especially the suffering. This sister’s love for a person who was forgotten, misunderstood and ignored is an inspiration to me. I hope it is an inspiration to you. – Sr. Theresa Aletheia

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How do you give thanks? I have recently learned that I should not only should ask myself, “What am I grateful for?” but it is also good to be mindful of how I express my gratitude.

As I invite you and myself to be with the question, may I share with you a story of the person who led me to this thought?

It was Kenneth.

Kenneth is presently going through radiation therapy for his colon cancer. Most people, without knowing him, would assume he is homeless. And he was; and perhaps he is. Nowadays, he earns just enough by selling Berkeley’s homeless street newspaper to supplement his medical cost and pay for $250/month room in Oakland. He makes sure he looks clean and his fingernails are short and neat.

When you ask him how he is, he always responds with, “I’m blessed.” He says this with such conviction in his eyes and a kind smile that spreads all over his face. He answers this way even when he can barely stand and move due to the radiation treatment that leaves him weak.

Last night on my way home, happy to see him again, I sat down to chat a bit. During our conversation, he had to rush to a public bathroom, staggering across the street full of cars rushing by. When he returned, his usual cheerful face was filled with frustration and sadness. The memories of the misunderstandings and the mistreatment he receives for being homeless and for not being able to control his bowel movements had rushed to his mind, leaving him feeling desolate.

When he has an accident on the bus, more than once he has been asked to get off the bus by the bus driver because he stunk. He often felt judged as incapable, and lazy because he sat on the sidewalk to sell the newspaper.

But what pained him most was the feeling that he had nothing to give back for the gratitude he felt to those who have been good to him. When people put money into the cup, he offers his newspaper. But, many, for different reasons, decline to take it, thereby quite unintentionally robbing him of an opportunity for him to say thank you.

We were in the midst of our conversation, tears running down both his cheeks and mine, when a young woman approached and squatted down to put some money into his cup. He offered his newspaper. She gently refused.

Softly, I whispered to her, “Please take one. It’s his gift to you.”

She then offered a cup of tea she had in her hand to Kenneth. He can’t drink soda, coffee, chocolate or tea because of his condition. But, he looked at her with a long pause and asked whether she had gotten that just for him. She said yes.

At that, he reached for it, saying, “I’ll drink it then. Thank you very much!”

He graciously accepted the gift, knowing what it would do to him. To honor her intent by accepting the gift was his way of saying, “Thank You!” And, he did more than just accept it. Because she had gotten it for him, he tried to drink it, which rushed him again across the street…

How do we say, “Thank You” to the Giver?

On this Thanksgiving Day and on each of our days, may we cherish not only the gift but the givers and the Giver! May the Love who gave us life and the love that sustains us remain alive in us. May our beings proclaim how blessed we are. May our living be the blessing for one another.

Happy Thanksgiving!