Patheos Welcomes Plagiarist and Disgraced Pastor Mark Driscoll!

I was excited to learn that the Evangelical Channel here on Patheos is welcoming a new blogger to their ranks.  It’s the disgraced former pastor of the now-defunct Mars Hill Church, Mark Driscoll!

By Ruthanne Reid - https://www.flickr.com/photos/doortoriver/11005560613/in/set-72157627218294851, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=32164115
By Ruthanne Reid – https://www.flickr.com/photos/doortoriver/11005560613/in/set-72157627218294851, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=32164115

You may have heard of Mark Driscoll from the drama that surrounded his departure from Mars Hill and its subsequent dissolution back in 2014.  The founding pastor who attracted attention for his populist-style of preaching was accused by his own church’s Board of Elders of “persistent sinful behavior,” and offered a plan for making things right.  In an admirable display of leadership, Driscoll instead refused to admit any wrongdoing and resigned his position, leading to the death of his church.

But all that is behind him!  He founded a new would-be megachurch in Scottsdale, Arizona and is working hard to bring his corrupted version of unique take on the Gospel to Christians all over the world.

And now, to my great elation, Patheos’s Evangelical Channel is providing him with yet another platform to do so!

Driscoll brings a lot to the table.  Most notable is his admirable commitment to toxic masculinity, something that is sorely lacking in Evangelical circles.  Just look at Evangelical church clergies; there is nary a Y chromosome to be found!  Driscoll is sure to bring some much-needed patriarchy to the famously-feminist Evangelical subculture; he is one of few church leaders brave enough to take the bold, revolutionary stance that churches should be led by men, and only men.  That ought to put the absolute surfeit of female pastors in their place!

On this issue, Driscoll has been a bastion of wisdom.  Consider statements like this:

“Sixty percent of Christians are chicks, and the forty percent that are dudes are still sort of chicks.”

Truly he has a sophisticated mind.  Even more intrepid was his statement that Ted Haggard’s wife was to blame for Haggard’s homosexual affair!  Remember, men aren’t born gay; lazy wives who let themselves go turn men gay.  Driscoll shows here his dizzying intellect; he spends several sentences talking about how men are driven to affairs by their overweight and sexually unavailable wives, and then in the same sentence says that those wives are “not responsible” for their husbands’ affairs.  Such low minds as mine simply cannot comprehend how a statement and literally its opposite can both be true at the same time; that is for intellectual powerhouses like Driscoll to contemplate.

The best thing for Patheos, however, is Driscoll’s writing style.  See, Patheos makes its money by providing insightful, provocative, and most importantly, original content.  That requires time and money investments to attract seasoned writers as well as guide and mentor new writers.  But honestly, who has time for all of that?

Mark Driscoll sure doesn’t!  He proved that he was above such nonsense as “cultivating original ideas” and “profiting from one’s own labor” when he blatantly plagiarized sections of one of his books!  Even more impressive, Driscoll hired a marketing agency to inflate the sales of another of his books so that it would reach the New York Times Bestsellers List.  Why bother creating content that people want to read and taking the time to market it when you can simply use the money you’ve made from preaching the Gospel of good news for the poor and lowly to buy your own books?

Probably the most extraordinary thing about Mark Driscoll is how he inspires unity among both progressive and conservative Christians.  They all despise him!  Okay, so it might not be as fluffy as “universal love and adoration,” but at least he’s not divisive.  That has to count for something!

As with any bold thinker, there will be haters out there who decry the addition of Mark Driscoll to the ranks of Patheos bloggers.  But I for one am confident that the haters are a minority and that the vast majority of Patheos readers-

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-will see through the controversy-

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-and respect the decision of the Evangelical Channel-

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Huh.  Well, I mean, these people haven’t given Driscoll a chance.  It’s not like any of them were members of his congregat-

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Okay, fine, so this decision is a little unpopular among the unwashed masses, but there’s no way it could possibly hurt Patheos’s bottom li-

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Oh.  Well then.

 

Note: All comments are from the Patheos Evangelical’s Facebook post about Driscoll joining as a blogger.  They reflect the views of those leaving comments; their names have been blurred for their privacy.  

Author’s Note:  Please don’t give up on Patheos.  They give a platform to radical leftists like me too; they are a good organization that truly believes in free speech and gives a platform to all sides, regardless of whether or not I agree or disagree with individual decisions.  Driscoll is toxic and abusive and this post is meant to denigrate him and the decision-makers for bringing him on, not anybody else.

UPDATE:  I have been informed that the decision to bring on Driscoll cannot fairly be blamed on the management of the Evangelical channel, but on higher-ups that they answer to.  Mea culpa.  And again, a massive shout-out to Patheos and BN Media for being such good sports about this whole thing and fostering a healthy environment for public debate and polemic. 

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