Tension. [Reflections on the ERLC Conference]

As I walked out of the Opryland Resort in Nashville this morning, I felt a great deal of tension in my soul. Since Sunday evening, I have been in town for the Southern Baptist Conventions conference on The Gospel, Homosexuality, and the Future of Marriage. Almost since the moment that I walked in to the resort center, I have been engaging in conversations with leaders and lay people alike on issues surrounding sexuality and marriage equality, hoping to discover a way to help move Evangelicals forward into a posture that more accurately represents the Gospel to the LGBTQ community.

My conversations for the most part have been incredibly positive. During some of my conversations, I found myself blown away by the openness and shift that was occurring in the hearts of many SBC leaders. Many of the plenary sessions that I attended were productive and inspiring. Though I disagreed with much of what was said at many sessions, it was clear that many of the speakers had a deep desire to transform their approach to issues of LGBTQ equality and acceptance. Many prominent leaders, such as Dr. Russell Moore, warmly welcomed to me to conference and expressed his thanks to me for attending. When I delivered the over 1,000 signatures that we had collected to demonstrate the change taking place among evangelicals on same sex marriage, they were accepted with great willingness. I exchanged contact information with a number of evangelical leaders and vowed to continue the conversations we started at the conference in the days to come.

At the same time however, I also was taken aback by the use of a lot of the same old rhetoric that has caused so much pain and fueled abuse and marginalization of LGBTQ men and women for decades. There were some people that I interacted with that were clearly not interested in dialogue or understanding my position. There were those who clearly made the case that they would not rest until the culture war was won. And there were those who were convinced that the most loving thing they could do for LGBTQ men and women was to keep them from entering in to marriage. In those situations, I was filled with a deep sense of remorse on behalf of my SBC family. I was not so much hurt personally but was deeply concerned for how many of their postures would continue to wound and push away many LGBTQ people from Christ.

I think that the tension I am feeling is symptomatic of where evangelicalism as a whole finds itself today on the issue of sexuality. Many are willing to reconsider and rethink how the Church has engaged on these issues in order to be a more faithful witness to the Gospel, while many others, have placed their flags in the ground and are unwilling to move, shift, or entertain a different opinion. The two sides of this hot-button issue are tugging at Evangelicalism and have placed the movement itself in a moment of great strain. And this tension was never clearer than at the ERLC conference this week. The tension that I brought into the space as someone who is a deeply committed evangelical and yet also a deeply committed advocate for LGBTQ equality. The tension of standing in a row of prominent LGBTQ advocates and activists, with my hands uplifted, singing praise and worship to our God in a room full of Southern Baptists, some of whom may not believe we’re even Christians.

And as I walked out of the conference today, I found myself very conflicted. Was I encouraged by the conference? Absolutely. But was I also very concerned and worried about some of what was preached? For sure. Did I feel like the SBC had made progress, like denying the legitimacy of reparative therapy and the reality of sexual orientation? Yes. But did some speakers undermine that progress with uncharitable rhetoric? They certainly did.

Over the last three days, I have made a good number of unlikely but new friends. After sitting down and talking heart to heart with many people who I once considered my enemies, I discovered the powerful and profound unity of the Holy Spirit that draws us together even in the most severe of disagreements. I have begun conversations that will last for many months to come. I have begun to establish trust with people that I once considered to be untrustworthy. I have also been reminded that even in the midst of all of this good, that there is still a long way to go. A lot of work to be done. And a lot more conversations that need to be had.

I leave this conference with the overwhelming sense that God is up to something and that better days do, in fact, lay ahead. Change is happening. The Spirit of God is at work. But I also realize that we, as evangelicals, are not where we need to be. And I am more energized than ever to press in to my calling to cultivate conversations in order to help change hearts and minds and to create a more Christ-like church for all people. I recognize that this space will continue to be tense for years to come, but I am confident that if we continue to be willing to stand in the tension, our work and witness will be used powerfully by God to bring about reformation and reconciliation in evangelical Christianity.