A Review: “Us Versus Us” By Andrew Marin

A Review: “Us Versus Us” By Andrew Marin June 28, 2016

In his latest book, “Us Versus Us”, Andrew Marin, a self-identified expert on faith and sexuality unveils a groundbreaking newus-versus-us-the-untold-story-of-religion-and-the-lgbt-community-by-andrew-marin-1631466208 study about the LGBT+ community and our relation to religion. Marin, known for his attempts to “build bridges” between the LGBT+ and conservative evangelical community, has been a controversial figure because of his refusal to publicly acknowledge his support of or against LGBT+ inclusion in the Church. Full disclosure, as a student in Chicago who was struggling with his sexuality, I formed a relationship with Marin and his organization, The Marin Foundation, and found their approach to be an incredibly helpful stepping stone for me as I walked along the journey of reconciling my faith and sexuality. Marin is respected by many conservative evangelicals while maintaining generally good relationships with the LGBT+ people who know him, a tight rope that is indeed hard to walk.

In his first book, Love Is An Orientation, Marin argues that all of us are called to love each other, regardless of our beliefs about sexuality and gender identity. In this new release, Marin seems to continue this same line of thought, using his organizations new study to argue that LGBT+ people are in fact very interested in faith and religion (a trend I and others have commented on many times) despite the growing notion that sexual and gender minorities are somehow opposed to religion. In this regard, Marin’s book is helpful. He makes a strong case, based on real research, that LGBT+ people are willing to engage with religion and spirituality, and actually deeply desire it. However, one of the biggest flaws that became apparent early on in the book is just how biased the survey the Marin Foundation conducted was. As Kimberly Knight notes in her review of the book, “From the 1,712 usable LGBT participant surveys, 60% were gay males and 77% were white.” Beyond that, the study virtually ignores non-conservative Christian people and people of other faiths. Though the subtitle of the book seems to suggest Marin’s study is about “religion” as a whole, one quickly finds that Marin is interested primarily in white evangelicals, which deals a sharp blow to the validity of Marin’s findings. (For more on this, read Kimberly Knights review here) This is why, it seems, the book is endorsed primarily by white, straight, conservative, evangelical, men, who will have no problem reading a book about LGBT+ people written by another white, evangelical, straight, man. In our day and age where the ideas of intersectionality have risen to the forefront of all conversations about justice and social reform, the lack of a diverse group of participants used in the survey shows a glaring weakness in Marin’s work and makes one question who exactly his audience is and what his intentions are for publishing this work.

Beyond the faults of the survey itself, I was really disappointed by the general message and tone of the book. As noted earlier, Marin sees himself as a bridge builder between the LGBT+ community and the conservative evangelical community. Over the years, Marin has dodged questions about his personal position. (though, most assumed that he was LGBT+ affirming) In this book, Marin maintains the ambiguity and grants validity to the non-affirming churches stance against LGBT+ inclusion, a stance that I believe should be no longer granted as valid in a post-Orlando world. It is one thing to allow people the space to process and grow, the resources to engage with the LGBT+ community in a way that feels safe to them. But to grant their views as honorable and commendable, which is what the tone of the book suggests, is simply a step too far for any would-be ally. It leaves room for seeds of fear, prejudice, self-hatred, and violence to be cultivated, as seen by the incredibly high suicide rates of LGBT+ teens in conservative Christian homes and the continued attacks on LGBT+ people from conservative Christians. Marin continually makes the mistake of making the conversation about LGBT+ people and religion about ideology instead of real, flesh and blood human beings, even though he tries hard to ground his ideas in real life stories. It’s easy to grant validity to abstract arguments, but when those arguments become incarnated in real human beings and begin causing real, tangible damage, we must no longer permit conversations to occur in the “abstract”. As Kimberly Knight notes, “straight Christians have the privilege of considering what they think…about homosexuality.” Marin seems to be operating from this place of privilege, instead of acknowledging the painful reality that LGBT+ people from conservative religious backgrounds have no choice but to experience. We don’t get to converse about our opinions, only defend our existence or repress our desires, neither of which is a healthy choice.

Marin seems to end up articulating a vision that has commonly been called “third-way”, which is basically the idea that churches can exist in unity, even if there are differing opinions about sexuality and gender identity in the pews. But as I have worked for the past three years on the ground with churches, I have come to believe that the “third-way” isn’t a way at all, but a stepping stone, either to full inclusion of LGBT+ people or to their full exclusion. I know of no community that has ever successfully modeled the “third-way” approach, simply because the ideological paradigm does not allow room for this. If I believe LGBT+ relationships are inherently sinful, why would I ever go to a church where a pastor teaches that either they’re not sinful (in which case, I believe he is a false teacher) or that they are sinful, but it really doesn’t matter that much. (in which case, he would be allowing people to live in sin) Likewise, as an LGBT+ person, why would I want to be a part of a community where I have to continually explain and justify my existence? Where people would still be afraid of me, worried about my “lifestyle” and praying that I’d find the truth. This is what the third-way practically becomes, and I don’t believe it’s sustainable or healthy for anyone involved.

While I admire Marin’s desire to cultivate civility among different opinions and think that many in our modern society could learn quite a bit from his methodology in the way that we handle public discourse, when it comes to sexuality and gender identity, it’s not longer a question of agreement or disagreement. It’s a question about my right to live, my right to love, my right to belong. It’s not a theological discourse, it’s a plea for my space at the table of God’s grace. I agree that LGBT+ people and conservative Christians must be in relationship and conversation and I encourage both communities to do so wherever I go to speak. But this doesn’t mean that dangerous, toxic, and harmful ideologies should be validated, accepted, or affirmed. Instead, we must speak boldly against ideas that breed death, while choosing to love those who might hold those ideas. It is ironic that Marin concludes his book saying, “Impactful reconciliatory work…happens as you intentionally live an ethic of inclusion…going out of your way to include all, everyone.” (pg. 165) I only wish that those words truly meant what they seem, on the surface, to say. We cannot be reconciled unless there is full inclusion, but there cannot be full inclusion until we dispense of theologies that speak of LGBT+ people as “intrinsically disordered” or “backslidden”. This is the tension that I live in as a queer follower of Jesus. I have spent years trying to “build bridges”, only to find that these bridges are unstable. While it is true that LGBT+ people are incredibly spiritual and even religious, the kind of communities we are finding and forming are not within those who refuse to include us, but in communities where our sexuality or gender is never even a question. We’re included because we’re human beings, made in the image and likeness of God, and that alone qualifies us to be loved, equal, and embraced. And unfortunately, Marin seems to leave plenty of room and encouragement for churches to think of themselves as “inclusive” without ever doing the hard but essential work of reforming themselves of toxic theology. This is where the theory and concepts of Us Versus Us falls dramatically short.

Us Versus Us by Andrew Marin is published by NavPress and is available on Amazon.

I was asked to review this book by Patheos and received a review copy in exchange for my comments. 


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