Self-Care versus Selfishness

2014-12_Woman Meditating

It’s common in our culture to place others' needs before our own. Many of us our taught from an early age that our needs are not as important as those around us, so we become accustomed to doing for others; sometimes as a loving gesture, sometimes to make ourselves feel good, and other times to meet an unquenchable thirst for approval.Some of us are taught that it’s selfish and indulgent to give to ourselves, so we shy away from any form of self-care. Others are raised believing that it’ … [Read more...]

Life in the Past Lane

(c) Carl Studna

Do you ever feel as if your life is repeating a series of past events, akin to looking out your driver’s side window and constantly seeing the same scenery? Are you opting to be a creature of habit, largely living in your reptilian brain, or are you choosing to see new sights and open to new thoughts that are always at hand, waiting to be accessed?Years ago, I was having an in-depth conversation with my seventy-six (at the time) year old father asking him detailed questions about his r … [Read more...]

WHAT NOW?…….Listen……..

(c) Carl Studna

How often do we complete a task or a goal and immediately ask ourselves, “What now?” Most of us in Western culture are so conditioned to think that we must constantly be busy or on-purpose in order to feel accomplished and worthy. From childhood, we’re rewarded for excelling at one thing or another while moments of downtime or contemplation are seen as lazy or falling behind. From a very young age, children are often being pushed and encouraged to meet a higher standard whose bar is continually b … [Read more...]

What Are You Devoted To?

2014-09_Father & Daughter Birth

In past generations, the word devotion was most commonly associated with your religious practice, how devoted you were to God. In current times, the meaning of devotion is often applied to various life practices.When examining beliefs and goals, I much prefer to ask myself, “What I am devoted to?”, rather than, “What am I committed to?” When we make commitments, they generally are created through our mind or intellect. We declare that we’re going to do or accomplish something by a certain dat … [Read more...]

Redefining Faith

(c) Carl Studna

Recently, my wife and I were listening to a well-respected, politically-based comic give a brilliant routine at a local venue.  I was feeling completely aligned with his point of view and his values until he broached the subject of faith. I was aware that he considered himself an atheist, yet was surprised when he completely debunked the entire concept of faith. Explaining that he was raised Catholic, he became very cynical at a young age, associating faith with living blindly and giving all … [Read more...]

Living Life Anew

(c) Carl Studna

In our day-to-day lives it’s so easy to become accustomed to a repetitive thought, feeling or decision to the degree that it breeds an outlook of expectancy and stagnation. If you’re driving on your daily commute to work and all you notice are the same shops, cars and stop lights, that drive will soon become pretty lifeless and boring.There’s an area of the brain that’s called the reticular activating system and it gets triggered whenever we place our attention on a particular thought, ac … [Read more...]

Living Life Steeped in Intimacy…It’s Not Just About Sex

(c) Carl Studna

When you think of intimacy, does your mind immediately reference sexual opening and awakening with a partner? Yes, this is certainly one form of intimacy, but we actually have the choice to live a life steeped in intimate relations throughout our daily experience.Merriam-Webster’s dictionary describes the word intimate in its full definition as follows:• Belonging to or characterizing one's deepest nature. • Marked by very close association, contact, or familiarity. Intimate knowledge of … [Read more...]

Dare to Speak Your Authentic Truth

(c) Carl Studna

Seem scary? What’s the worst that can happen? Perhaps you lose your job, dissolve your marriage or distance yourself from all of your friends and find yourself alone in the world, destitute, in pain and dying of hunger.I gest, but many of these lingering thoughts pass through our minds to some degree or another when we back away from speaking our full truth and instead of honoring our needs, we play it safe and settle for some form of mediocrity. Most of us in Western Culture have been r … [Read more...]

Are You Vulnerable to Love?

(c) Carl Studna

Remember when being vulnerable was seen a bad thing? In reference to war, a common expression has been, “being vulnerable to attack.” In personal terms, being vulnerable to your feelings has been deeply discouraged as we’ve been told that this leads to getting hurt. We clearly come from a culture that has viewed the notion of being vulnerable as one to avoid at all costs in order to preserve safety and security.As we continue to evolve as a culture growing into greater consciousness, we’r … [Read more...]

Trust As a Life Path

(c) Carl Studna

How often in your life have you made choices out of safety, only later having wished that you had taken greater risks and dared to be bolder? We live in a world that largely encourages us to play it safe and strive for comfort, so it’s no wonder that so many of us opt for a sense of false security.Recently, I was asking myself a question that I like to ask every so often. “If I were on my deathbed and reviewing my life, what would be my biggest regret?” The answer rang out loudly and clear … [Read more...]


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