How to pray when it’s all “too much”

There are times when the load of life is crushing.  You’re failing in a grad program that you love and are terrified at the future void that’s hanging over you.  Your husband has left you for another woman, or another man.  You’ve learned that you have clinical depression and that the road of recovery will be slow and arduous, and you’re trying to figure out how you’ll cope in the meantime.  There’s a certain sin in your life that makes you feel like you’re in the movie “Groundhog Day” as the pattern of indulgence, guilt, shame, repentance, and then indulgence again, recurs with sickening familiarity.

“This is my life” you say, punctuating the observation sometimes with a question mark, and other times with an exclamation point and an expletive adjective.  You don’t know which way to turn, don’t know the next step, don’t even know if you want to take a next step.

Been there?  Here are some things to remember:

#1 – You’re not Achan. (He was the guy who caused the defeat of Israel in Joshua 7.  You can hear my sermon about him here )  Whenever I preach about Achan, I worry about the people sitting in my congregation who fit in these categories above, worry that their thoughts will immediately run to the question, “Am I the problem with my family, my company, my …?” They’ll run there because, for some of us, our fallen nature falls into shame and condemnation first – seeing ourselves as the root cause, not only of our own problems, but of everyone else’s as well.

If you’re feeling that way, stop it.  Conviction comes from God, but not condemnation.  Our weaknesses and infirmities don’t hold the whole community back; it’s our arrogant, willful, continuation in sin that holds the community back.  When you’re drowning in the overwhelming stuff of life, the last thing you need, is some sort of feeling that you’re ruining the lives of others.  You’re not – so don’t think that way.

#2 - You need “Prayer without Words”. You’re not sure whether you’re angry, or desperate, or hurt, or all three.  You’re not sure what kind of guidance to ask for, so interwoven are the trials and tribulations you find yourself in for a season.  You’ve no idea what the “next step” is – no idea how to move forward.  Paul says in Romans 8:27 that, “In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”  This means there’s a kind of praying that’s “too deep for words”.

One of the ways this kind of prayer is practiced is described in “Beginning to Pray” by Anthony Bloom, a man whose resume (surgeon/minister, conscripted by the German army during French occupation, monk) qualifies him to write on the subject.  He advocates for silence, simplicity, and what’s called “The Jesus Prayer”.  As this essay says:

The prayer is drawn from Gospels, from passages where people called on Jesus for mercy: the ten lepers  who cried, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us” (Luke 17:13), the Canaanite woman who said , “have mercy on me, O Lord, son of David.” (Mt15:22), and blind Bartimaeus, who said,  “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” (Mk 10:47). In Jesus’ parable, the publican “would not even lift his eyes to heaven but beat his breast, saying, ‘God be merciful to me a sinner!’” (Luke 18:13). These requests for mercy aren’t like a criminal begging a judge for lenience, but are stories of people in need asking for the Lord’s tender mercy.

Practically speaking, this means that when we don’t know what to pray, we can simply pray the prayer on the plaque above, or we can pray this:

“Jesus, Master, have mercy on me!” or even simply,

“Jesus” – repeating the name of the One who is our source of hope, over and over again.

Though this “Jesus prayer” has been used historically as a means of learning to pray without ceasing (by making this prayer the “screen saver” of your mind, so that it goes there when you’re mind is free) – I’ll share that this prayer, especially just calling out the name of Jesus over and over again in rhythm with my breath, is stabilizing when my world is collapsing, life giving when I’m feeling overwhelmed.  This is because, beyond the simple repetition of Jesus’ name, the Bible teaches us that Holy Spirit is taking our “showing up” and translating that into prayers “too deep for words”.

Such praying has been a part of great saints through the ages.  I wish I could say I pray that way all the time, and perhaps someday I’ll get there.  But I can say I pray that way when I don’t know how to pray, and the days when I don’t know how to pray are as common as Seattle clouds.

About Richard Dahlstrom

As Pastor of Bethany Community Church in Seattle, Richard teaches with vision of "making the invisible God visible" by calling people to acts of service and blessing. It's working, as a wilderness ministry, homeless shelter, and community meals that serve those living on the margins are all pieces of Bethany's life. "We're being the presence of Christ" he says, "and inviting everyone to join the adventure." Many have, making Bethany one of the fastest growing churches in America in 2009 according to Outreach Magazine.

  • Gary Glenney

    Thanks, Richard,

    I love your blogs.

    I just passed this latest blog on to someone I spent an hour with yesterday who is struggling with depression.

    You are a great help and encouragement to many of us!

    Gary Glenney

    • raincitypastor

      Thanks for the encouragement Gary… if you click on the facebook logo at the bottom of the blog post, it will automatically share it with your facebook friends.

  • Gary Glenney

    Thanks, Richard,

    I love your blogs.

    I just passed this latest blog on to someone I spent an hour with yesterday who is struggling with depression.

    You are a great help and encouragement to many of us!

    Gary Glenney

    • raincitypastor

      Thanks for the encouragement Gary… if you click on the facebook logo at the bottom of the blog post, it will automatically share it with your facebook friends.

  • dena

    Oh my goodness, my goodness! Are you reading my mind?? My hubby and I are in such transition right now – not that it would appear so from the outside, but we both know it – God is trying to show/teach/prepare us for something, and the waiting and not knowing and DESIRE for His will is so fierce – it feels like I don’t have energy or time to focus on anything else. I just want to be at home in bed with the covers over my head so I can Raphah Yada Elohyim (I loosely translate “Snuggle in; know God! – love it! thanks for the link.) Sometimes trying to “carry on” when I feel this way is just exhausting – yet I know that because I’m feeling so weak, anything I’m able to accomplish is totally due to His Strength. Thanks for your reminder yesterday that I must “Get up” and act in obedience. Saying His name, “Jesus” throughout the day is a reminder that He has everything under control and that even these times of uncertainty and unknowing are part of his plan and lessons to learn. I open my hands to Him – give and take as You will, dear Savior!

  • Lamont

    “Jesus” – repeating the name of the One who is our source of hope, over and over again.”

    Matt 6:7 “And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words.”

    • raincitypastor

      Is ALL repetition meaningless? If so, why did Jesus only warn against “meaningless” repetition, but not repetition per se? It seems that one can’t read some of the Psalms without finding value in repetition…IF the repetition is meaningful rather than just “dialed in”. Of course anything can be empty repetition, including the Lord’s prayer once we know it so well. I read Jesus exhortation as inviting is to be fully present with the words we use. Thanks for the comment.

  • Lamont

    “Jesus” – repeating the name of the One who is our source of hope, over and over again.”

    Matt 6:7 “And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words.”

    • raincitypastor

      Is ALL repetition meaningless? If so, why did Jesus only warn against “meaningless” repetition, but not repetition per se? It seems that one can’t read some of the Psalms without finding value in repetition…IF the repetition is meaningful rather than just “dialed in”. Of course anything can be empty repetition, including the Lord’s prayer once we know it so well. I read Jesus exhortation as inviting is to be fully present with the words we use. Thanks for the comment.

  • Lamont

    BTW. The rest of your comments were superb! Thank you!

  • Lamont

    BTW. The rest of your comments were superb! Thank you!

  • thefoutz

    Thanks for the encouraging words, Richard. I needed to hear them today.

    -Jon

  • thefoutz

    Thanks for the encouraging words, Richard. I needed to hear them today.

    -Jon

  • betcat

    I started doing a morning meditation with the mantra, “Lord have mercy on me.” I have to say that this has changed my life in so many ways. I am filled with more hope and encouragement by letting God start my day. Excellent post, Richard. Thank you!

    Beth

  • http://literaryitinerary.wordpress.com literaryitinerary

    Thanks Richard -

    I, too, have used the Jesus prayer on many occasions when I’ve faced difficult circumstances that come in to my life. It helps give me perspective and causes my mind to slow down and simply know that He is in control, no matter the chaos that surrounds me.

    –Josh

  • http://literaryitinerary.wordpress.com literaryitinerary

    Thanks Richard -

    I, too, have used the Jesus prayer on many occasions when I’ve faced difficult circumstances that come in to my life. It helps give me perspective and causes my mind to slow down and simply know that He is in control, no matter the chaos that surrounds me.

    –Josh

  • lifeisajourney

    Thank you for this excellent post. The past 4 sermons have truly spoken to the depths of my heart. The Jesus prayer has been my very breath at times over the past several months. When nothing around me makes sense and my entire world has been turned over, the name of Jesus is so sweet on my lips. Thank you for listening to God, for teaching and for sharing your life – He is using you to draw others to Him.

  • Graham

    “my heart will sing
    no other name
    Jesus, Jesus”

  • Graham

    “my heart will sing
    no other name
    Jesus, Jesus”

  • Melinda

    You have no idea how this was exactly what I needed to hear at this exact moment…thank you for being obedient to God and sharing your heart, shepherding us all to know and seek Christ more. Lord, have mercy.


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