Rock And Roll is Evil

Rock out for Jesus…

Being raised in a very fundamentalist household I knew that it was imperative to reach out to people and convince them their very soul was at stake in a spiritual war that had been raging since the beginning of time (which would make time a linear concept—not something I entirely agree with {not the point}). From the earliest stages of my life I was raised in a pentecostal community where people would bang on drums, run circles through the church aisles, speak in “tongues”, yell, scream, hoop and holler, fall on the floor writhing and convulsing as they were overcome by the holy spirit, and generally make a ruckus all during some pretty badass worship service. That lasted until about the age of 5.

After we moved to another state churches like that were pretty rare so my family “settled” for a less extreme version of Christianity. Don’t you worry! We eventually found another pentecostal church but that’s many years removed from this story. During this transitional period I found myself enrolled in a private Christian school for a myriad of different reasons that I can get into at a later time.

nevermind…

This school was run by some crazy Baptist church that was somehow well-respected throughout the city. I was enrolled in sixth grade (for the second year in a row) and was stuck in the same class as my younger sister. I was already an inquisitive individual and would pick up any book or novel I could get my hands on regardless of the nature of the content that was in between the covers. This got me into trouble more than a few times in school as I would end up bringing controversial books to school and reading them during my downtime between classes.

One particular day I brought a dark graphic novel to school. It was about 600 pages long and was about a former Nazi who had hid amongst the Jewish community after the demise of Hitler. The Nazi main character had been plotting for 60 years to reinstate the Nazi Empire and kill all the Jews from within. My teacher knew I loved reading and oftentimes inquired what I was reading next. Needless to say this book sent her into a state of shock. It was confiscated and she rifled through my desk and bags in order to ensure I had no more un-Christian like literature. A few hours later I was taken into the hallway for my formal “talking to.”

As we stood out there she explained to me that I can’t read those types of books that don’t exalt Christ because it will stain my soul and I will be allowing sin to enter my heart. I replied that it was a book of fiction and that I’m sure the Nazi dies in the end because anti-semitism isn’t too popular in our politically correct culture these days. She shook her head and again expressed her displeasure with me filling my mind with un-Christ like ideas. She then began to explain to me that all things in life must represent and be reflective of Jesus, including music. I was a little confused so I asked what she meant by that.

According to her Rock and Roll was evil. Here is a transcript I’ve put together from memory:

Mrs. Religutard: “Rock and roll music is evil.”

Paul: “What!? How is that possible?”

Mrs. Religutard: “Well, you see, the message of Rock and Roll glorifies Satan. And he is the great deceiver. He wants you turn away from God and he will trick you in any way possible.”

Paul: “Well, that doesn’t make sense. What about Christian Rock?”

Mrs. Religutard: “That is also evil. It’s God’s words with Satan’s music. It’s another way Satan is deceiving you.”

 At this point my mind imploded! The wheels in my simpleton 12 year old mind kept spinning and, standing outside the classroom with Mrs. Religutard, jumbled thoughts of reason and common sense began to pierce through the blinding veil of religion.

How can a soundwave in the audio spectrum be inherently evil? I thought.

Immediately arriving upon the conclusion that Mrs. Religutard and her ilk were suffering from some serious mental illness I dropped the conversation but decided to look into the subject further.

Curiosity killed the convert

 These are some of the results of my research:

  • Sound waves are measured in Hertz–1 hertz=1 vibration/second
  • The human ear can detect between 20hz to 20,000hz
  • Dolphins can detect up to 200,000hz
  • A on the music scale is heard at 440hz
  • G flat on the music scale is heard at 740hz
  • So basically each musical note is heard at a different vibration per second–i.e. what specific sound it is
  • Decibals are the volume at which sound is heard, the weakest of which we can hear is 0 dB
  • A normal conversation at 3′ is heard at 60-65 dB
  • A motorcycle is around 100 dB
  • Me yelling at one of my junior enlisted warriors is around 80 dB
  • A 12 gauge shotgun blast is about 165 dB

I am still looking for the scale which can explain to me which sounds(hz) at which volume(dB) are good and which ones are evil based upon empirical data. Maybe it is the intermixing of specific sounds that is to explain for all this. That sounds like a good healthy Christian argument. It’s reminiscent of how they used to say that the intermixing of races was evil.

Well since I”ve spent years studying to try and find out where the line of thinking that any and all musical instruments making sounds a specific way (Rock and Roll) could be inherently evil and still haven’t got it could someone please explain it to me?

Riddle me this

  1. Are dolphins more susceptible to sin because they hear better than we puny humans?
  2. Is it more sinful to listen to rock and roll at night rather than day because the difference in air pressure allows sound to travel farther?
  3. Which instruments specifically are required for evil sounds and which for good?
  4. Why are barbershop quartets not considered evil if they can sing in the same range as some of the guitars?
  5. Is Georgia Brown naturally a more sinful person by virtue of existence because her vocal range covers 8 chords (more than any other person on the planet)?
  6. Was King David in the Old Testament evil because he had a choir with brass instruments?–I mean I know he committed murder, adultery, and idolatry but this music shit is some serious business!
  7. Do the deaf sin less than those of us who can hear?

-Paul Loebe

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About Paul Loebe
  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    Speaking of politically correct… “Religutard“? Isn’t there a better way to insult her willful ignorance?

  • Mundania_Express

    Well there is the tritone, which some suggest is called the “devil’s tritone”

    Amusingly, this tritone is often used by Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath.

  • bbgunn

    I thought the Devil was in the details, not the music.

  • justsomeguy

    I read some piece of trash about a year ago that was an attempt to answer exactly the questions you’re asking.

    Long story short: what makes rock music evil is the backbeat. Most forms of music in 4/4 time put the bulk of emphasis on beat 1, with a smaller emphasis on beat 3. In rock, the big emphasis is on beat 2 and the smaller on beat 4. This is apparently too discordant for god to tolerate. Also, something about the frequency of stars’ rotation being in sync with the ONE-two-THREE-four model, and how the traditional music of pagan African tribes is one-TWO-three-FOUR oriented.

    So it wasn’t a complete waste of time for me to read that article. I learned what makes rock rock.

  • Skip White

    Watch out for music in odd time signatures like 5/4 or 7/8. I assume that too much use of those would eventually bring about the Antichrist. So that makes progressive rock extra-evil.

  • Tribeca Mike

    Jimmy Swaggart used to brag on his TV show about how he never played minor chords on the piano, since they are the devil’s work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/blume.mike michaelblume

    I’m reminded of Dr. Manhattan’s line from Watchmen:

    “A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there’s no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned?”

    By which I mean — I’m sorry, but this is not a very good post. Not that I think rock music is evil, but the arguments *in this post* make no sense. They represent fake reductionism in the same way Dr. Manhattan’s line does.

    “How can rock music be evil? It’s just pitches, and decibels.” is not an argument. You could just as well ask how rock music can be fun to listen to, or how a novel can be worth reading…

    So, taking the devilpriest’s advocate position for a moment. How can rock music be evil? Simple. Music is heard by the ears and experienced by the brain and it produces altered mental states. As with all good art, certain kinds of music invite you towards certain kinds of emotion and away from others. They make some thoughts more thinkable, and others less. From there it is not a tremendous leap to claim that, say, certain kinds of music might create lustful thoughts that will cause you to “sin sexually” (again, *I* don’t think it’s *possible* to “sin” sexually with willing partner(s), but this is how the argument goes).

    It’s all well and good to make fun of the religious for believing silly things, like that rock music is evil, but let’s have our arguments make sense.

  • justsomeguy

    @michaelblume:

    Music, like all other art, is also subjective. Two people can look at the same painting, or watch the same movie, or listen to the same song, and have very different reactions. And because of its subjective nature, it’s possible for those two people to have vastly differing opinions on the subject and neither of them is incorrect.

    It’s entirely reasonable that individuals will have strong negative reactions to whole genres of music. But the teacher in the story was not expressing her thoughts on rock as a subjective opinion. She was expressing her thoughts as objective fact. Not only that, but she was making a very broad statement about all iterations of rock music being equally bad. Blanket statements like that usually fall apart upon closer scrutiny.

  • Steve

    I’ve read that what *really* got the funnymentalists’ knickers in a twist over rock-and-roll was the color of its early practitioners. The woke up one day and saw that their daughters were being sexually stimulated by -gasp- NIGGERS! The witch hunt spiraled up from there, until it became a tradition that forgot its origin..

  • Priscilla Parker

    I can relate to the point he was making. I grew up in a similar school, except I had to attend my entire academic career. The reasoning I was given for not being allowed to read certain books or listen to certain music was also because it was of the devil. With Rock and Roll I was told that the very title of the genre symbolized having vigorous and profane sex (pumpin’ and humpin’ and shakin’ and blah blah blah.)

    I also agree with michaelblume’s assertion that music, like other art forms, does have an influence over our state of mind. Music more so than other forms of art because of its affect on the auditory nerve. The faster the frequency and the higher the amplitude the more the brain is affected by the sounds in the environment sometimes to a point of over-stimulation. Why do you think the military uses certain kinds of music for interrogation purposes? Here’s why: http://www.usaarl.army.mil/publications/HMD_Book09/files/Section%2016%20-%20Chapter%209%20Auditory%20Function.pdf

    While it’s silly to label this ‘evil’ it’s not a stretch to say it can be unhealthy.

  • Midnight Rambler
  • David Hart

    “Watch out for music in odd time signatures like 5/4 or 7/8″

    Bulgaria must be exceptionally damned. They have folk dances in 5/8, 7/8, 11/8 and 15/8, and even weird combinations of already-irregular time signatures.

  • http://florilegia.wordpress.com Ibis3, denizen of a spiteful ghetto

    She may have watched this Christian propaganda film around the time you had your encounter: Hell’s Bells: The Dangers of Rock and Roll. Fascinating stuff.

  • dwb1957

    @michaelblume. Oh, dear. His tongue was so deep in his cheek he looked like an off-balance chipmunk. You are too earnest for this world.

  • http://pinterest.com/ellenwilliams97/ I Love Led Zeppelin

    Look there is so way that Rock N Roll is evil. To quote Led Zeppelin’s lead singer Robert Plant “Musics purpose was to make people happy” I had really bad depression and I was going to kill myself, but then I found music, musicians like Led Zeppelin Jack White Bob Dylan Jimi Hendrix and many more stopped me form killing myself and how could something that saved me be evil. It says in the bible “everything good on this earth is of god” And rock is good.

  • paulalovescats

    Well, going deaf is evil, so listen wisely. Anyone remember Petra? They were good till about the 00s. I remember being taught this bs in private school. Too bad the Christian rock led me down the slippery slope.


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