How to tell if you’re in an unhealthy relationship (with god)

Is your god controlling you? Telling you where you can and can’t go, and even telling you who you can be friends with? Setting all sorts of arbitrary rules? Does your god sometimes get angry and self-righteous?

Gary S. asks for advice for those experiencing this:

What is it about ‘Fearing God?”  If you love someone, does that mean you’re supposed to fear them?  Is that a good thing?

“I love you with all my heart & soul, but you scare the shit out of me”  WTF????

-Gary S.

Dear Gary S.,

You need to think about bees.

You don’t love bees, but you do fear them. It’s roughly the same with gods, except bees will definitely let you know they are there. You know what to do if you see a bee up close?

see bees - bee crawling on eyeball

Don’t show fear. They feed on fear… and pollen. So don’t show pollen either.

Here, have a fun song about bees:

www.youtube.com/embed/hoDNmgkXVk0#t=88

Why won’t these bees leave me alone

These bees get me and I say Ow

Why won’t these bees leave me alone

I hate them bees

*Thanks for the letter Gary – you rock :)

About Justin Griffith
  • scotlyn

    Don’t show fear. They feed on fear… and pollen. So don’t show pollen either.

    Stealing this!

  • ‘Tis Himself

    They feed on fear… and pollen.

    <quickly dumps pollen stash into toilet and flushes>

  • Pierce R. Butler

    If god uses you to murder teenagers, y’all need relationship counseling.

  • http://anthrozine.com Cubist

    The number 1 warning sign that you’re in an unhealthy relationship with God: Believing you have a relationship with God…

  • Agnes

    Why does this page have a banner ad that says “I want to be saved by Jesus Christ”?!


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