Jesus walked on water and swam on the land (slightly NSFW)

www.youtube.com/embed/GUrqaJZH-04

(Slightly) NSFW image below the fold.

Jesus was way cool

Everybody liked Jesus

Everybody wanted to hang out with him

Anything he wanted to do, he did

He turned water into wine

And if he wanted to

He could have turned wheat into marijuana

Or sugar into cocaine

Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

He walked on the water

And swam on the land

He would tell these stories

And people would listen

He was really cool

If you were blind or lame

You just went to Jesus

And he would put his hands on you

And you would be healed

That’s so cool

He could’ve played guitar better than Hendrix

He could’ve told the future

He could’ve baked the most delicious cake in the world

He could’ve scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky

He could’ve danced better than Barishnikov

Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of

Jesus was way cool

He told people to eat his body and drink his blood

That’s so cool

Jesus was so cool

But then some people got jealous of how cool he was

So they killed him

But then he rose from the dead

He rose from the dead, danced around

Then went up to heaven

I mean, that’s so cool

Jesus was way cool

No wonder there are so many Christians

About Justin Griffith
  • F [disappearing]

    My favorite King Missile bit. Love it.


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