God, the Republican Convention, and Tropical Storm Isaac (Satire Warning)

(I have to preface this with “Satire Warning” because my experience is that some people are tone deaf to satire and think I’m being literal when I’m not. Maybe “parody” is a better word for this.)

God is obviously blowing his fierce breath and spitting his fierce saliva at the GOP convention in Tampa, Florida. The GOP had to cancel its first day of the convention because of God’s judgment–a reminder that we are all sinners and deserving of of whatever we get.

Obviously, God is judging Florida for hosting the godless GOP convention which will (if it gets to meet!) no doubt engage in idolatrous rituals of nationalism and militarism and pass anti-poor resolutions and nominate a candidate whose proposals would create the largest redistribution of wealth, from the bottom up, in history.

Let’s all hope Florida and the GOP get the message. Let’s all pray for our country, that it will heed this divine warning and repent of militarism, dreams of world domination and return to compassion and national humility.

  • http://notdarkyet-commentary.blogspot.com/ Charles Kinnaird

    Love it! Someone posted this on Facebook: “A storm is headed toward Tampa that threatens to leave families suffering, the poor searching for help and lives destroyed … and then there is Isaac.”

  • Larry Chouinard

    Tongue in cheek parody maybe— but I can hear the literal rants if a tornado touches down anywhere close to Charlotte during the Democratic convention.

  • Tony Springer

    Roger,
    If you want a pay raise, you could write for the Onion.
    (a joke)
    Tony

  • http://cramercomments.blogspot.com D C Cramer

    So what part is satirical again? ;)

  • http://wesleyanarminian.wordpress.com Kevin Jackson

    Careful, if God is an open theist, he might change his mind and send it to Texas. ;)

    • rogereolson

      Ah, well, the Republican Part is, after all, the state church of Texas. :)

  • Joshua Wooden

    Well done.

  • Bob Brown

    And maybe God’s displeasure is being revealed against the atheistic communist leftist liberal marxists who can’t take to windy and rainy streets.

  • Bob Brown

    Seems to me all political satire aside, that NOLA and its leaders have failed to repent.

    • rogereolson

      I don’t know what “NOLA” is.

      • Rob

        New Orleans, LA

  • Ivan A. Rogers

    Good stuff, Roger! You missed your calling. You could have been famous and rich as a columnist writing satire for one of the major news media.

    • rogereolson

      I once wrote a satirical column for the local newspaper. My point was one conservatives would agree with. I learned that many people are satire-challenged. People who would have agreed entirely and enthusiastically with my point, had it not been couched as satire, called me and left nasty voice mail messages condemning me. They also called my “bosses” and complained about me. One called me back after the dean told him my column was pure satire and after he realized he agreed with my point and said I shouldn’t have written it, anyway (because he didn’t get it). I should note that it was OBVIOUSLY satire.

  • http://brentwhite.wordpress.com Brent White

    Perfect satire. If it happened on the other side of the aisle, there’s no question that we would get “serious” articles like this. Good job.

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  • Rob

    Well since the hurricane is not heading toward Tampa at all but on its way to New Orleans, we can just recycle whatever Pat Robertson said seven years ago.

    • rogereolson

      And if it’s really from God, it had better hid Bourbon Street. God missed last time. (Still in satirical mode.)

  • K Gray

    I guess God changed His mind!

    • rogereolson

      Oh, but he got them to cancel the whole first day! (My God is a kinder, gentler one than some. :) (Still in satirical mode.)

  • Bob Brown

    All Satire aside, the fact that Isaac is headed directly at New Orleans, LA (NOLA) and hitting there on the very day the gays celebrate decadence 7 years to the day Katrina hit makes me think it is a judgment of God. God does use nature for His weapons of choice.

    • rogereolson

      The vast majority of people hurt by Katrina had nothing at all, whatsoever, to do with gays or Bourbon Street or anything else that Christians criticize about New Orleans. Bourbon Street was hardly hurt by it. If God were aiming a hurricane at New Orleans (which I don’t believe), surely Bourbon Street would be his target. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go walk down it sometime.)

      • Bob Brown

        Roger look up “Southern Decadence”. Both Katrina and Isaac hit NOrleans on the very day Southern Decadence was to begin in both 2005 and 2012. Whether Bourbon St. was damaged is not the point. The homosexual decadence event on Bourbon St. was canceled. That certainly holds more creedence for me than God sending a hurricane to affect the Republican convention even if it was satire.

  • http://existingbetween.wordpress.com/ Joy F

    Haha! Thanks for the laugh – and just think Stephen Colbert makes millions to say the same thing! Swing state or not, this may make the GOP reconsider having a convention in Florida during hurricane season again! That had to be one of those “who thought this was a good idea anyway?” moments……..especially considering in 2008, the Florida governor along with several others had to leave early for……wait for it: hurricanes.

    There are other swing states guys. Hurricanes aren’t likely to hit Ohio!

    On another note, I am concerned that the “wrath of God” theology is all too easily pulled out when it affects someone we don’t know and don’t like. I remember being very bothered hearing people talk about the earthquake in China in 2008 and the one in Japan in 2011. From someone who has lived in both places – they are not at all “godless centers of Buddhism……” Christianity is the fastest growing religion in Asia and a lot of Christians died in those earthquakes………as well as many generally much more “moral” people than your average in the US.

    Maybe rather than needing to explain, comforting those who mourn and weeping with those who weep would be a better action.

  • Karl

    I apologize for the late comment, but (in serious mode) it seems that the debate over whether God uses natural disasters as instruments of judgment is pretty complicated. I agree that, in some sense, we deserve everything bad that comes our way (having sinned against a pure and holy God) and that God can justly use natural disasters as instruments of judgment. However, I’d say that natural disasters would be more often a punishment that is a logical result of us being outside of the Garden and fallen, so natural disasters are just as logical a c0nsequence of the Fall as sexual immorality (which can be seen as something unpleasant in itself) and greed and oppression of the poor. You also need to take into account possibilities like God permitting Satan to send the disaster and (not really a “possibility”) God’s holy love for sinners and those who suffer.


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