…Afraid of other people?
…Are you worried that your gut is too big and your penis is too small?
Try Phyrarm–available over-the-counter!
Yes, Phyrarm can make you feel strong and vibrant again, without all that pesky diet and exercise. It can even make you feel safe around strangers, without going to all the trouble of getting to know them. It may even save the lives of dozens of Americans each year!
Ask your doctor if Phyrarm is right for you!
WARNING: Phyrarm results in the death of 32,000 Americans annually and more than triples the risk of suicide in adults and increases the risk of suicide by 13-fold in adolescents. Phyrarm more than doubles the risk of homicide overall and the risk of spousal homicide by 8-fold; this risk is 20-fold higher in homes with a history of domestic violence. Five women die daily as a result of Phyrarm and it is the number one cause of death in US pregnant women.Phyrarm, though legal for children, is not recommended and results in the accidental death of 62 young children per year.In states where Phyrarm ownership is high, the risk of law enforcement officers dying from Phyrarm is three times higher than in states with lower Phyrarm ownership.”Advertisement” created by Dr. James Wilk, an Internist at Rose Medical Center in Denver, CO. (scroll down to see interesting video clip)
Firearms are involved in more than 32,000 deaths per year (roughly 11,000 homicides and 19,000 suicides), which works out to about 88 deaths per day.
Butkus R, et al. Reducing Firearm-Related Injuries and Deaths in the United States: Executive Summary of a Policy Position Paper From the American College of Physicians. Ann Intern Med. 2014;160(12):858-860. doi:10.7326/M14-0216.A teen with no apparent psychiatric disorder is nearly 13-times more likely to commit suicide if there is a handgun in the home and this risk increases to more than 32-fold if the gun is loaded (Brent DA, Perper JA, Moritz G, Baugher M, Schweers J, Roth C. Firearms and adolescent suicide: a community case control study. Am J Dis Child. 1993;147:1066–1071).
A recent meta-analysis of 16 studies examined the relationship between firearms and gun deaths. Gun ownership doubled the risk of homicide and tripled the risk of suicide in the home (Anglemyer A, et al. The Accessibility of Firearms and Risk for Suicide and Homicide Victimization Among Household Members: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. Ann Intern Med. 2014;160:101-110. doi:10.7326/M13-1301).
A study in the New England Journal of Medicine found that rather than conferring protection to a family, gun ownership was associated with a 2.7-fold higher risk of homicide, and virtually all of this risk involved homicide by a family member or intimate acquaintance. The risk connected to gun ownership increases to 8-fold when the offender is an intimate partner or relative of the victim and is 20 times higher when previous domestic violence exists (Kellermann AL, Rivara FP, Rushforth NB, et al. Gun ownership as a risk factor for homicide in the home. N Eng J Med 1993;329:1084-91).
Homicide is the leading cause of death among pregnant women in the US.From 2003 to 2007, the yearly averages of unintentional firearm fatalities were as follows: 62 children aged 0 to 14, 89 youth aged 15 to 19, and 95 young adults aged 20 to 24 years (Centers for Disease Control. WISQARS Injury Mortality Reports, 1999–2007).
The higher the firearm ownership rate, the more cops get killed. The magnitude of this risk is substantial. Law enforcement officer homicide rates are 3 times higher in states with high firearm ownership compared with states with low firearm ownership.
I posted today’s blog on behalf of a colleague, Dr. James Wilk, an Internist at Rose Medical Center in Denver, CO. He is the creator of all of the words above. You may not agree with it, but he’s certainly backed up his assertions well.
Wilks’ faux ad creation reminds me of a scene in the movie We’re No Angels – starring Robert DiNiro and Sean Penn. Penn plays an uneducated escaped convict who hides out as visiting monk in a monastery in a small town. He’s selected to give the message on a special holy day. Out of desperation, he pulls out an advert for a pistol manufacturer and riffs on in it.
It’s striking how much the language of fear and our desire to be free from it propels us – including some of our theologies. Too often, we find ways to rationalize our practical atheism – or at least, polytheism – i.e., putting as much or more of our trust into guns as in God.
Christians are called to be people of faith, not of fear. I hope your mileage doesn’t vary.
xx – Roger
Rev. Roger Wolsey is an ordained United Methodist pastor who directs the Wesley Foundation at the University of Colorado at Boulder, and is author of Kissing Fish: christianity for people who don’t like christianity
Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com