Dear Razor Blade,

Dear Razor Blade,

I’m sorry for what happened the other night, but the fact remains: I stopped cutting in November.

The road got bumpy and the cutting bandwagon didn’t have any seat-belts. I was emotionally vulnerable, and I know I shouldn’t have brought you into my house the other night. But I did. What happened happened.

I know I’ll sound like a jerk for saying this (until I remember that you’re an inanimate object and I’m only writing you a letter because I enjoy personification), but the other night meant nothing to me. That part of my life, the part of my life that involved you- it’s over. We can’t see each other anymore, and no, we can’t be friends. A clean break is best.

Every time I see the scars on my arm, I can hear the words that I used to pretend you said to me, “You’re a cutter. I’m a razor blade. We were meant to be together.”

But you’re wrong.

I’ve changed. I’m not a cutter. That part of me died 8 months ago.

I was meant for something better.

I have a life to live, and I can’t let you hold me back. I’m tired of letting you get under my skin. I’m sorry, razor blade, but this is goodbye.

Sincerely,

Sarah Moon

  • http://pauldebaufer.wordpress.com Paul DeBaufer

    Praise God that you were able to stop hurting yourself. Praise Him more that you and your story are helping others get out of that hell.

    God bless you Sarah!

    • http://moonchild11.wordpress.com moonchild11

      yes, praise God for sure!

  • http://theladyexpounds.wordpress.com ladytamlihua

    *cheers*

    I think part of recovery is facing your personal demons again every once in a while.

    *many many hugs*

    • http://moonchild11.wordpress.com moonchild11

      Agreed! *returns hugs!*

  • http://hrh413.wordpress.com hrh413

    Good for you Sarah! I love you and I’m glad you are able to say goodbye to that part of your life! I know how hard it is. I’ve been there. *hugs*

  • http://skeptigirl-blog.blogspot.com/ skeptigirl

    For me it has been about three years since I cut. The scars are starting to fade. I am glad because there is nothing I hate more than strangers staring at them, and me, like a crazy person and judging me, even thou, obviously they are very old. The worst are the comments of people giving me pep-talks about never doing it again. Nothing I hate more than advice before asking what the problem is.

    With time the scars fade, the urge fades and you will only dimly remember that mindset that caused you to do it.

    • http://moonchild11.wordpress.com moonchild11

      I know the feeling!

      And it’s good to know that the urges continue to fade.

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