Fear or Love?

Growing up in a Fundamental Baptist high school, I heard some ridiculous arguments against feminism. My favorite goes something like this:

Feminists secretly hate women! That’s right! They hate women, and let me tell you why! They want women to be equal to men. That means, they think women don’t need men. Feminists won’t let men hold doors open for them or pay for their dates. And they won’t let men protect them! Chivalry is DEAD because of feminists. That’s right.

Oh, and don’t forget. Feminists are also responsible for the wide availability of The Pill! Because of The Pill, men now see women as sex objects! Because men don’t have to worry about having babies, men think they can rape women left and right without suffering the consequences.

So, because of feminists, men are raping women. Also because of feminists, these women have no men to protect them from men who want to rape them! See all these problems feminists have caused?!?

I used to wonder how anyone could come to such faulty conclusions with this argument. How can these people not see that men who rape and hurt women, not feminists, are the problem?

But now when I hear these arguments, I’m not surprised. Not one bit.

I should not be surprised that some Christians believe that women need men to protect them from men, because these same Christians also believe that people need God to protect them from God.

It’s the exact same philosophy, really.

People wanted too much freedom, so instead of The Pill, they ate the forbidden fruit. And now God is mad. Now God can unleash God’s wrath on people…

…unless, of course, people stop trying to be so independent and put themselves under God’s leadership so that God can protect people from God’s wrath.

Inherent in both of these philosophies is fear. 

According to this philosophy, women need men, not because of love.

Not because we love our friends and fathers and brothers and possible romantic partners.

But because women should be afraid of men and their uncontrollable sex drives.

Because women need men to protect them from fearsome men.

And people need God.

Not because we love God and because God loves us.

But because we should be afraid of God and God’s uncontrollable wrath.

Because people need God to protect them from the fearsome God.

It’s all about fear, but there is no fear in love. So, which is it Christians? Are we about love, or are we about fear? You can’t have both.

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  • Ed Taylor

    Indeed, love trumps fear, but does not preclude it. Some amount of fear is healthy. The idea that they cannot coexist is every bit as fallacious as the idea you speak against. Love always beats fear, but not everyone loves. Some hate. I like to think I protect my wife from those people. And likewise God protects us, not from God but from the eternal consequences of our actions that stand in sharp relief from his good nature. And come on; if God is who he says he is, a little fear is healthy – not because of what he will do, but what he can do. The hardest pill to swallow here is actually, what kind of love comes from the call to obey out go to hell? Seems like a false choice to me…

    • Ed Taylor

      *or*

    • Kelly

      Just reading this post! I think there is so much truth in your statements. It also supports what a genuine christians motivation for obedience should be. I believe it SHOULD be motivated by our love for God and not bc we fear him/lakes of fire. In the same way I honor, love, and even forgive my husband only out of love but never fear. If i did those things out of fear then we would not have a healthy relationship. yes, there are many ways he protects me and im a girly girl/hopeless romantic so i enjoy chilvery(i dont need it -just peronaly enjoy it) BUT there are also many ways I protect him and even nurture him. Just last night he couldnt fall asleep so i rubbed his head until he did. LOL, If we ever “need” Men then they need us just as much; if not more. :) Actually if we want the Biblical perspective, God said it wasnt good for the MAN to be alone so he made us. Therefore men need women to protect them….says God. lol.

      • Kelly

        oooops, didnt mean to make this a reply to a prior statement…it was suppose to be just a regular comment directed at Sarah’s post

  • K

    “Because of The Pill, men now see women as sex objects! Because men don’t have to worry about having babies, men think they can rape women left and right without suffering the consequences.”

    Right, because rape and treating women like property never happened before the 1960′s. *eyeroll*

    Complementarians, in their own twisted way, have a really low opinion of men (I guess that’s why they feel the need to bring women down so much so they can still feel above us). Deep down inside even the best of them are all apparently soulless evil monsters who will violate any woman just because they can and it’s simply the woman’s fault for “provoking” them – after all, boys will be boys and we can’t expect them to be responsible or morally culpable for their own behavior. Funny how conservative Christians will blather on and on about how God designed men to be natural spiritual leaders full of strength, but when it comes to sexual ethics they can’t be expected to act like anything more than selfish children at best. Why again are these men fit to lead the church but women can’t???

    • http://moonchild11.wordpress.com Sarah Moon

      “Funny how conservative Christians will blather on and on about how God designed men to be natural spiritual leaders full of strength, but when it comes to sexual ethics they can’t be expected to act like anything more than selfish children at best.”

      yes!

    • Jim Fisher

      Amen! Sister!

  • http://www.facebook.com/diana.loveurneighbor Diana Margaret

    Wow! Can I hug you? That was brilliant! I never saw that connection!

    Also, have you listened to Julian’s sermon from this past Sunday??? Because he talks about fear!!! :) I’m pretty sure you’ll like it. It certainly supports your argument!

    • http://moonchild11.wordpress.com Sarah Moon

      I should listen to it some time!

  • Pingback: Christian Patriarchy: Fear, fear, FEAR


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