When Anger Saved My Life

I don't know who made this. A friend sent it to me. If you know, please tell me so I can LOVE THEM.

Trigger Warning for Descriptions of Intimate Partner Violence, Sexual Assault, Self Injury, and Rape. I am angry.I mean, not right now. I'm actually fairly calmly sipping a lemon-berry shandy and chatting with my fiance about the use of F-bombs in Breaking Bad. I just mean in general. I get angry quite often, and I often hear things like "Why are you so angry?"I hate hearing things like this (in fact, thinking about them might be making me a little...angry).  I hate it when people te … [Read more...]

Love is an action. So is sexism.

I am of the opinion that love is more than just a warm, fuzzy feeling that you get when you look at that "special someone." Warm, fuzzy feelings are often a part of love (and are often an important part of love because they can provide us with the energy for action). But it's also important to talk about love as an action: the act of treating someone with care, with respect for their humanity, etc.Love is not just about romantic feelings. It's not just about nice feeling you get when you … [Read more...]

I don’t know, why do you tell your daughters to dress modestly?

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Trigger Warning for Modesty Culture B.S. and Benevolent Sexism. Also, I used more swear words than usually because I just can't even.When I read the piece on Christianity Today's women's blog entitled "Why I Tell My Daughters to Dress Modestly," my first response was "Because of benevolent sexism?"I've been talking about benevolent vs. hostile sexism on my blog a lot lately, and how often, people who adhere to benevolent sexist mindsets don't think of themselves as sexists. They look … [Read more...]

From the archives: A Church “Building Project” that Made a Difference

Image via Mary Jane Saunders

This post was originally published on December 7, 2012Many churches get super excited about building projects. These projects are supposed to represent big changes to the church, new ideas, progress, and relevance.Even the fundamentalist churches I've attended got excited about building projects, though these usually involved new gymnasiums where we could play the A.W.A.N.A "run around the circle and then go in for the beanbag" games rather than stadium seats or new stages for the … [Read more...]

Learning the Words: Justice

gavel

The blog Defeating the Dragons (by fellow ex-fundamentalist, Samantha) is running a series of guest posts on "the words many of us didn’t have in fundamentalism or overly conservative evangelicalism– and how we got them back." Today, I'm participating in that series, talking about the word "justice." How fundamentalists view the word "justice" and how feminist and liberation theologians view the word "justice" are two VERY different things: The justice of God, to fundamentalists, has absolutely … [Read more...]

Racism, Dehumanization, and Trayvon Martin

Trayvon-Martin-2

Trigger Warning: Racism, dehumanization, discussion of racial violence and the George Zimmerman caseI've spent a few blog posts recently talking about the way that the patriarchal mindsets in some popular Christian dating books dehumanize both men and women in specific ways. They dehumanize men to absolve men of responsibility, or to use "bad" men as a threat to women who refuse to submit to the "loving, godly leadership" of "good" men. They dehumanize women  in order to keep women tied to … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Women are objects, or weaker animals

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Men Are Animals

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) … [Read more...]

When the waters aren’t rolling down.

I don't know what to say about the past few weeks. The gutting of the Voting Rights Act. Awful, almost unbelievable successful attempts to restrict reproductive health in Ohio, North Carolina, and Texas. Then the verdict of the George Zimmerman trial last night.Some of these issues affect me very directly (I am moving to Ohio soon, and I have a uterus and wanted to have children in the next few years, so losing access to certain types of reproductive health was devastating). In other areas I … [Read more...]

You Are Not Your Own: Benevolent Sexism as the Solution to Hostile Sexism

superman-and-lois

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape … [Read more...]


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