“You’re not like most women” is not a compliment!

Telling me that I'm not like most women--I'm more logical, rational, calm, unemotional, etc--is not a compliment.It's an insult to my gender and my sex. You're telling me my good qualities are an anomaly based on who I am. You're asking me to dismember myself. To separate my intelligence from the rest of me. From my gender identity and from my vagina. That my brain and my boobs and my femininity are a paradox.I see through you.I see through this not-so-subtle attack on other women. Women … [Read more...]

Feminism and abstinence

bell hooks states in her book Feminist Theory, From Margin to Center: One aspect of sexual norms that many people find oppressive is the assumption that one "should" be engaged in sexual activity. This "should" is one expression of sexual coercion...When...emphasis is placed on ending sexual oppression...it is possible to envision a society in which it is as much of an expression of sexual freedom to choose not to participate in sexual activity as it is to choose to participate. Having grown up … [Read more...]

Men who think consent is overrated are not good men.

TRIGGER WARNING: Rape(thanks to Ryan Stauffer for bringing this to my attention)Recently, The Good Men Project--who think of themselves as "a glimpse of what enlightened masculinity might look like in the 21st century"--tweeted a story that I blame for the fact that I skipped lunch today. It literally made me lose my appetite.I've had problems with The Good Men Project in the past (this post by Amy Mitchell lays out just of few of my reasons why). But the misogynist post I read today … [Read more...]

All of who we are

When I first started dating my now-fiance, I had just recently begun calling myself a feminist. I had just recently begun to look at the way the world around me privileged men and say, "Hey! This isn't right."Thanks to my new found worldview, I saw Abe as having privilege over me. I expected him to be aware of that privilege, and I expected him to be extremely careful not to use that privilege in ways that might hurt me. I thought that he, as a man, was more privileged than me, as a woman.I … [Read more...]

A follow-up on complementarianism and rape culture

{trigger warning for rape} This is a follow up to my recent blog post, "Complimentarianism's ugly relationship with rape"I recently wrote a blog post in which I proposed that complementarianism benefits from rape culture. This post got me called a slanderer, a totalitarian communist propagandist, and even got me compared to a rapist lurking in the dark corners of the internet waiting to attack innocent men like Douglas Wilson and call them rape advocates against their will. This follow-up post … [Read more...]

Complementarianism’s ugly relationship with rape

[Trigger warning: rape apologism][Update: I've changed some mentions of "evangelical leaders" to "complementarian leaders" to clarify that I am referring specifically to complementarians in this post. I have a habit of using the two interchangeably because of my experiences in evangelicalism, but there is a growing number of awesome feminist evangelicals out there who don't deserve to be lumped in with complementarians]Over the past few months, I've called out evangelical Christian … [Read more...]

Whose knowledge? Whose power?

Here's an interesting quote I found while reading the book Feminist Research Practice, by Sharlene Nagy Hesse-Biber and Patricia Lina Leavy (emphasis mine): In many societies...knowledge is produced and controlled by the ruling class. The prevailing interpretation of reality will reflect the interests and values of the ruling class. Because of its commitment to maintaining power, the ruling class seeks to conceal the ways in which it dominates and exploits the rest of the population. The … [Read more...]

Losing my purity…ring.

Hi friends! I'm over at Love, Joy, Feminism today talking about purity rings. My cousin gave me a purity ring for Christmas in 2005. She also gave them to several other young women in our Independent Fundamental Baptist youth group. I don’t think any of us fully realized what we were saying to the world by wearing them—“I have never had a penis in my vagina!”—but we wore them with pride. When another girl would get too involved with a boyfriend but still wear her purity ring, we would whisper, an … [Read more...]

John Shore on IFB survivors and my journey toward healing

This piece at John Shore's blog just awakened all kinds of emotions for me: In surviving the worst survivors of IFB have become the best. The writings that I’ve read from former IFBs are some of the strongest testimonies to the strength and decency of the human spirit that I’ve ever come across. I appreciate being asked to offer you guys a word of support, but you should be offering support to me and anyone else lucky enough to hear what you have to say. You’re the power. You’re the strength. It’ … [Read more...]

Esther, Mark Driscoll, and using rape to control women

 [Trigger warning for rape apologism and Mark Driscoll quotes]Growing up, the book of Esther was always my favorite because it featured two very brave women.First, there was Vashti. I've loved Vashti ever since a grade school teacher came to class dressed up as Vashti and told us the story about how she had been exiled by the king because she asserted herself and refused to dance for the king's drunken friends. She was a brave woman who claimed her body as her own--rather than her t … [Read more...]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X