Do Gender Roles Cause Unrealistic Expectations for Relationships?

I wrote a guest post for Kevin Olenick about how the gender roles I learned in a Joshua Harris book put an unnecessary amount of stress and pain on a previous relationship. When my last boyfriend and I started getting more serious about our relationship and were wondering “Where do we go from here?” we decided to seek some counsel from books. So I went to the Christian bookstore on my Christian college’s campus and picked up Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris.Now, my ex and I had both grown up in … [Read more...]

Let me be angry.

Trigger Warning for abuse and rape: I've been tired of fighting. Been feeling like nothing is coming through. Been terrified of being dismissed as an angry feminist. But being too filled with words--bursting at the seams with them. All the words I've held back because of fear and good ol' Christian niceties.All those words can't be contained anymore.Because things are wrong.Things are unfair.People are hurting.How can you just stand there?And there I go again. I guess I am just an … [Read more...]

A quote for today…

I'm having trouble today, writing words. When I try to set the words free through my fingers, fear reigns them back in. So, today, I'll share the words of Audre Lorde until I can gather my own.Your silences will not protect you...What are the words you do not yet have? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence? We have been socialized to respect fear more than our own need for language.Next time, ask: … [Read more...]

Best of the week!

I didn't have time to do a "best of the week" post last week, so some of these are from last week too. Enjoy these great thoughts!Libby Anne talks about salvation anxiety over at Love, Joy, Feminism. And Amy Mitchell from Unchained Faith, along with Suzannah Paul from The Smitten Word have some insightful, bold opinions about emerging Christianity. Shay Kearns from Anarchist Reverend (a great blog that you should be reading) was ordained as an Old Catholic priest yesterday! Very excited for him. … [Read more...]

Why Chris Rosebrough is Wrong: A Case for Ordaining Women (Guest Post By Travis Mamone)

Here are some thoughts from my friend Travis Mamone (who blogs about cool stuff like Doctor Who and theology here!) on why popular arguments against the ordination of women fall flat and why sometimes it's best to just step away from "theological bullies." He included a picture of a fluffy animal to represent Rosebrough but I couldn't get it to load, so for now, here is my cat in a tiny top hat. Enjoy!Like many of my fellow emergent Christians, I once tried to pal it up with fundamentalist … [Read more...]

No one’s Messiah

To Christian men and the churches they attend:I am not your Christ.Churches may try to put women on a cross, sacrificing them so that men may be pure and holy.But I am not your savior.Churches may expect women to keep silent, to hide their talents, their bodies, to sacrifice who they are to protect men from sin and shame.But I am coming down off of that cross.Churches may ask women to endure abuse for a season--like Christ endured crucifixion--so that abusive men might be saved.But … [Read more...]

Some humans are more equal than others: John Piper on spousal abuse and submission

I'm doing a series on complementarianism's manipulative claims at promoting equality. You can read the intro here. The first entry, on Joshua Harris, can be found here.When I first left the tiny bubble of the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church and stepped into the larger (but still restrictive) bubble of conservative evangelicalism, I learned that I was supposed to love John Piper.However, even though I was still a (fairly rebellious) conservative at the time, John Piper's view of women … [Read more...]

Some Humans Are More Equal Than Others: Joshua Harris on Male Authority and Female Submission

I'm doing a short series on some examples of the way that complementarians claim to promote equality for women....but don't. You can read the introduction here. The first complementarian leader I'd like to discuss in this series is Joshua Harris. Like many ex-fundamentalists and evangelicals, I read one of his books in college (Boy Meets Girl) and still have some issues because of it.And now, for research purposes, I am reading another Joshua Harris book (I Kissed Dating Goodbye) and t … [Read more...]

Some humans are more equal than others: Introduction

Complementarian evangelical leaders like to pretend that their view of women is something other than exactly what it sounds like. They like to pretend that feminists (with our silly, womanly emotions) are just overreacting, misunderstanding, or twisting their words."Real" complementarians practice godly, Christ-like leadership. They don't dominate or abuse their wives. Feminists just don't understand what's really good for them--they don't understand that complementarianism isn't about a … [Read more...]

Best of the Week!

Here are a few things from this past week that really shouldn't be missed!I'll start with one of the most beautiful things I've read in a long time: "The Body I Have," by Dani Kelley And then she wrote this follow-up piece. Damn girl! Woman of Valor, indeed! "Existential perfection, problematic cultural systems, and being okay."This Tumblr is more than a week old, but, especially if you frequent the comment sections of Christian blogs, you need to check it out: "When In Comment S … [Read more...]


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