Some Humans Are More Equal Than Others: Joshua Harris on Male Authority and Female Submission

I'm doing a short series on some examples of the way that complementarians claim to promote equality for women....but don't. You can read the introduction here. The first complementarian leader I'd like to discuss in this series is Joshua Harris. Like many ex-fundamentalists and evangelicals, I read one of his books in college (Boy Meets Girl) and still have some issues because of it.And now, for research purposes, I am reading another Joshua Harris book (I Kissed Dating Goodbye) and t … [Read more...]

Some humans are more equal than others: Introduction

Complementarian evangelical leaders like to pretend that their view of women is something other than exactly what it sounds like. They like to pretend that feminists (with our silly, womanly emotions) are just overreacting, misunderstanding, or twisting their words."Real" complementarians practice godly, Christ-like leadership. They don't dominate or abuse their wives. Feminists just don't understand what's really good for them--they don't understand that complementarianism isn't about a … [Read more...]

Best of the Week!

Here are a few things from this past week that really shouldn't be missed!I'll start with one of the most beautiful things I've read in a long time: "The Body I Have," by Dani Kelley And then she wrote this follow-up piece. Damn girl! Woman of Valor, indeed! "Existential perfection, problematic cultural systems, and being okay."This Tumblr is more than a week old, but, especially if you frequent the comment sections of Christian blogs, you need to check it out: "When In Comment S … [Read more...]

The privilege of purity

I've spoken some about the purity movement on this blog. I grew up in it, and even when I still considered myself an evangelical Christian, I saw how much harm it had caused in my life.I've written before about how I "lost" the right to call myself pure because of sexual assault and later because of my own decisions. I've written about how dehumanizing the purity movement is toward people like me.But not everyone has to "do" something, or have something done to them to be considered impure b … [Read more...]

No, REALLY, I’m happy.

Yesterday, I wrote about how, for the first time in a long time, I really do feel happy.Funny, though, how the happier I get the more people insist that I'm not happy at all. I get that a lot. "You've become so miserable and bitter."..."Ever since you left church [read: the fundamentalist church] you've just been miserable."..."Remember when you loved Jesus and church and you were so happy?"..."You've just become an angry feminist! Can't you just enjoy your life?"Last year at this time I … [Read more...]

I’m happy.

I'm happy.It feels good to say that and really mean it. Life has been a struggle ever since I can remember--healing from abuse suffered as a child and as a teenager--and life is still a struggle.But I feel like I'm winning.For the first time in my life I feel like I'm winning. I am healing. I am at peace with who I am as a person and as a woman, thanks to feminism. I am at peace with my spirituality thanks to a few good churches and thanks to Universalism and feminist theology. I feel … [Read more...]

Plans for 2013

I know I haven't written in this ol' blog as often as I should. Life's been busy and exhausting. I keep telling myself I'll get back to this someday, and I really do believe that's true--especially since I'll soon be quitting the fast food job that sucks away 90% of my energy and creativity.You folks can hold me to it. I'm a writer, damn it. I need to write.So here's some of my New Year goals for the blog:*Start a reread of The Bible, reading it not as a Biblical literalist with something … [Read more...]

When I don’t want to be a Christian anymore, I just believe in love

I believe in love.I feel that I must take a moment to define my term as best as I can here. I'm not talking about romance or affection or coziness or anything else that we all sometimes call love.I mean the force that moves us to see others as fully human. The force that moves us to care, and to hope for (and more importantly work for) a world where everyone is seen as (and treated as) fully human.Love, the absence of abuse, oppression, discrimination, exploitation.Love, the absence of … [Read more...]


Trigger Warning for discussion of Sandy Hook Elementary shootingsWhy?I guess that's what everyone's wondering in the wake of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings this week. Why did this happen? Could we have prevented it? How can we stop it from happening again?As an activist, I turn my eyes to social structures, to laws, to ideologies of domination. I think of words from Martin Luther King Jr., from so many years ago, that apply still today: "we must be concerned not merely about … [Read more...]

A church “building project” that made a difference

Many churches get super excited about building projects. These projects are supposed to represent big changes to the church, new ideas, progress, and relevance.Even the fundamentalist churches I've attended got excited about building projects, though these usually involved new gymnasiums where we could play the A.W.A.N.A "run around the circle and then go in for the beanbag" games rather than stadium seats or new stages for the worship band.Still, the idea is the same. If we build THIS, they … [Read more...]