On Hugo Schwyzer and Christianity’s Open Door Policy for Abusers

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Trigger Warning: Abuse apologism, murder/suicide, Hugo SchwyzerWe have to talk about Hugo Schwyzer.If you don't spend a lot of time involved in "secular" online feminism you may not recognize that name. Fortunately, he didn't get as much of an "in" in the Christian feminist blogging world as I'm guessing he would have liked to. Schwyzer was a self-proclaimed male feminist and Women's Studies professor who became kind of a celebrity in online feminism for his pieces on gender issues. When … [Read more...]

Maybe God is a “bitch”

shit-is-fucked-up-and-stuff

In the months following my decision to leave fundamentalism for good, I began to shy away from the idea of God as a God of wrath. No, how could God be wrathful? God is love. God isn't angry at us. God loves us.Maybe I was wrong.The wrath of God in fundamentalism is often used to talk about God sending little children to hell for taking a cookie out of the cookie jar. It's often used to talk about how God was so furious with us disgusting human beings that God had to use his own son, Jes … [Read more...]

When Anger Saved My Life

I don't know who made this. A friend sent it to me. If you know, please tell me so I can LOVE THEM.

Trigger Warning for Descriptions of Intimate Partner Violence, Sexual Assault, Self Injury, and Rape. I am angry.I mean, not right now. I'm actually fairly calmly sipping a lemon-berry shandy and chatting with my fiance about the use of F-bombs in Breaking Bad. I just mean in general. I get angry quite often, and I often hear things like "Why are you so angry?"I hate hearing things like this (in fact, thinking about them might be making me a little...angry).  I hate it when people te … [Read more...]

Would Father’s Day be different?

Would Father's Day be different . . .If Christianity wasn't preaching that, not only are they allowed to hit their children, but they must hit their children in order to be good fathers?If complementarianism wasn't telling dads that it's a woman's job to raise children, and that caring, nurturing men are "emasculated?"If society wasn't still pumping out the tired, old idea that masculinity equals power, and that men who do not have complete control over their families are not real me … [Read more...]

When my abuser is welcome at the table, I am not.

It's the cool thing in more progressive branches of Christianity now to talk about how EVERYONE is welcome at the communion table. I should be glad about that, I guess.I mostly just serve communion to myself (sometimes a cat or two joins in) while locked in my bedroom nowadays. Not much of a "communion," I know. I'm probably committing all sorts of blasphemy, but that's the best I can do right now. Maybe if I swapped the leftover pizza that I use as the body of Christ for some Zoloft I'd be … [Read more...]

On gaslighting.

Trigger Warning: Verbal Abuse, GaslightingHe called me a slut.I remember it so clearly because it was so shocking. I was sixteen, and almost pathetically naive about sex, yet he called me a slut.My own father.I held onto that word, let it shape what I thought of myself. Let it fertilize my anger and bitterness toward my dad. I never talked to him about it, because he never admitted to doing anything wrong. He'd tell me I was crazy. But one day it just came out, years later, when … [Read more...]

The cross and radical activism

She Stopped Eating

The idea that Jesus chose, out of his own free will, to go to the cross is a favorite among abusive church leaders. What better way to get people to submit to you than to compare the God they worship to a lamb led to slaughter? Over and over and over I've heard Jesus' submissiveness unto death used as an excuse to abuse or to silence those who wish to call out abuse.I want to propose a different perspective and I want to start with a woman named Alice Paul.In 1917, women in the United S … [Read more...]

Spiritual Abuse Awareness Week: My Guest Post at Rachel Held Evans

Today I'm guest posting at Rachel Held Evans' blog, talking about abuse and images of God. God is love. I believe that with my whole heart.But what is God? And what is love?We need to ask ourselves these questions and think deeply about them before we can even begin to start solving the problem of abuse in the Christian church. Read the rest at RachelHeldEvans.com! … [Read more...]

Spiritual Abuse Awareness Week: Violences are Connected

Back in February, Sen. Marco Rubio explained why he opposed the Violence Against Women Act: I could not support the final, entire legislation that contains new provisions that could have potentially adverse consequences. Specifically, this bill would mandate the diversion of a portion of funding from domestic violence programs to sexual assault programs. Rubio has this idea, apparently, that different types of abuse have nothing to do with one another. Not a surprising conclusion in a world … [Read more...]

Must reads!

Lots of posts that I want to share this week. I hope you'll check them out, as they are all important! They discuss a wide variety of topics, from God, to rape culture, to The Wizard of Oz, to racism/homophobia, to the dangers of fraternizing with bears."For most of my Christian experience, I’ve only ever heard God described in verbs. Very busy verbs.""If you want to know why we need to educate men not to be sexually aggressive, look no further than what happened when Zerlina Maxwell went on … [Read more...]


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