A Benediction for My Fellow Queer Christians

For personal safety reasons, I'm going to ask anyone who chooses to share this post to please not tag me on any social media sites. Thank you.   ______________It's not a sin to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual. And I don't mean it like some folk mean it--"It's not a sin to be gay! Just to act on your gayness." To quote my grandmother-in-law, "That's horse piss!" Acting gay, lesbian, or bisexual--finding members of your own sex attractive; crushing on, dating, marrying, flirting with, and/or sl … [Read more...]

The Answer To Sexual Shame is Not MORE Sexual Shame, Carson T. Clark

[Content Note: Sexual and Spiritual Abuse]When I was 16, I dated an abuser who was constantly coercing me into having sex with him. I had been raised in fundamentalist purity culture, so I thought of sex as something gross and scary. My boyfriend at the time tried to combat those feelings by sending me on guilt trips and by holding me to his manipulative, subjective standards of "responsibility."He'd say things like, "You hugging me turned me on. You're a horrible person if you turn a … [Read more...]

Embodied Faith is a Faith I Can Live With

Image via Suzannah Paul

Today, I'm guest posting at Suzannah Paul's blog on the topic of Embodied Faith. This is a really important topic to me--the idea that my faith matters to my body and to the experiences I have in my body has been so healing and freeing for me. So, I hope you'll check out my post and the other posts in Suzannah's series on Embodied Faith!Here's a quick preview: What theological insight can I gain from my body and from my bodily experiences?In my depression, I can meet with the suffering … [Read more...]

Privilege in Christian Pacifism: My Life is Not Your Thought Exercise

No, not THAT "What Would You Do?"

I wrote this post a few days ago and had it scheduled for today, but since h00die_R is hosting a synchroblog at Political Jesus on the topic of pacifism, I thought I'd link up! Check it out and see if you'd be interested in participating. I've been thinking about pacifism lately. It's come up in my church, in Twitter discussions, and in blog posts. This is not a response specifically to any recent discussions of pacifism, but since it keeps coming up I do want to let out some of the thoughts … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners

runaway-bride-cake-topper-

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) who face sexual violenc … [Read more...]

When Anger Saved My Life

I don't know who made this. A friend sent it to me. If you know, please tell me so I can LOVE THEM.

Trigger Warning for Descriptions of Intimate Partner Violence, Sexual Assault, Self Injury, and Rape. I am angry.I mean, not right now. I'm actually fairly calmly sipping a lemon-berry shandy and chatting with my fiance about the use of F-bombs in Breaking Bad. I just mean in general. I get angry quite often, and I often hear things like "Why are you so angry?"I hate hearing things like this (in fact, thinking about them might be making me a little...angry).  I hate it when people te … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” So, whose are you?

Click for source

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, and dehumanizationNote: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my proj … [Read more...]

Women matter.

I was at a rock concert last week and a stranger felt me up. I froze for several seconds--couldn't breathe, couldn't move as those hands moved up and down my waist. Finally, I found the courage to elbow the person in the stomach. Then, I went to the bathroom and cried and ended up missing half of The Darkness singing "Love on the Rocks with No Ice."But a week later, I can still feel those hands. Every time I sit down to write. Every time I look in the mirror. Every time I have a positive … [Read more...]

So, what about the men?

1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted by age 18.*1 in 33 men will be experience completed or attempt rape in his lifetime.*52% of gay men will experience coercion from a partner*22% of male prison inmates will be raped during their incarceration**Out of all the victims of murder by an intimate partner, about 1/4 are male.***Even as victims, men who leave abusive female partners have a high risk of losing custody of their children.****And, even though it is estimated that men make up … [Read more...]

Stop giving a damn!

This morning, I counted how many days it's been since I last wrote something.Six days.Six long days where I was unable to write.At first, I wondered if I've had writer's block. But, no. I've had so many ideas for blog posts lately that my brain can hardly juggle them all. No, writer's block isn't the problem.The problem is that I started giving a damn.Like most people, I spent the majority of my life giving a damn what people thought about me. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to be … [Read more...]


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