In Praise of the Doubting Thomas–A Book Review

My friend Travis Mamone has a new ebook out. It's called In Praise of the Doubting Thomas, and I recommend it.It's short, and I finished it in under two hours, but it's also thought-provoking and affirming. Travis, in his honest, conversational writing style, tells the story of his faith journey--how he made peace with his doubts without giving up on his faith.Travis's faith journey reminds me of my own (and, indeed, since we've been reading each other's blogs for a few years now, our j … [Read more...]

“Progressive” Christianity and Premarital Sex

Almost exactly one year ago, I read an article on Relevant Magazine that made me realize that I had absolutely no personal convictions to remain abstinent.I had grown up in the dead-center of the purity movement. I'd worn the silver rings, made the pledges, condescended to the teenage mothers, read the Joshua Harris books, and all the other lovely rituals that seem to be involved in that movement. However, after an abusive partner coerced me into sex and eventually raped me, I had to let go of … [Read more...]

Love and the mystery of men and women

I've been reading bell hook's book All About Love: New Visions. In it, she stresses the importance of defining love so that we can't be controlled by abusive people who claim to love us. She borrows her definition of love from M. Scott Peck: "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth...Love is as love does. Love is an act of will--namely, both an intention and an action." hooks later discusses our culture's reluctance to define love: It i … [Read more...]

A follow-up on complementarianism and rape culture

{trigger warning for rape} This is a follow up to my recent blog post, "Complimentarianism's ugly relationship with rape"I recently wrote a blog post in which I proposed that complementarianism benefits from rape culture. This post got me called a slanderer, a totalitarian communist propagandist, and even got me compared to a rapist lurking in the dark corners of the internet waiting to attack innocent men like Douglas Wilson and call them rape advocates against their will. This follow-up post … [Read more...]

Complementarianism’s ugly relationship with rape

[Trigger warning: rape apologism][Update: I've changed some mentions of "evangelical leaders" to "complementarian leaders" to clarify that I am referring specifically to complementarians in this post. I have a habit of using the two interchangeably because of my experiences in evangelicalism, but there is a growing number of awesome feminist evangelicals out there who don't deserve to be lumped in with complementarians]Over the past few months, I've called out evangelical Christian … [Read more...]

Losing my purity…ring.

Hi friends! I'm over at Love, Joy, Feminism today talking about purity rings. My cousin gave me a purity ring for Christmas in 2005. She also gave them to several other young women in our Independent Fundamental Baptist youth group. I don’t think any of us fully realized what we were saying to the world by wearing them—“I have never had a penis in my vagina!”—but we wore them with pride. When another girl would get too involved with a boyfriend but still wear her purity ring, we would whisper, an … [Read more...]

John Shore on IFB survivors and my journey toward healing

This piece at John Shore's blog just awakened all kinds of emotions for me: In surviving the worst survivors of IFB have become the best. The writings that I’ve read from former IFBs are some of the strongest testimonies to the strength and decency of the human spirit that I’ve ever come across. I appreciate being asked to offer you guys a word of support, but you should be offering support to me and anyone else lucky enough to hear what you have to say. You’re the power. You’re the strength. It’ … [Read more...]

“A New Creation:” Christianity and trans* rights

Before I start this blog post, some definitions for anyone not familiar with trans* issues!According to wikipedia, "transgender is the state of one's gender identity (self-identification as woman, man, neither or both) not matching one's assigned sex (identification by others as male, female or intersex based on physical/genetic sex)." A transgender person is someone who doesn't believe the gender they were assigned at birth accurately describes them. Gender identity is different than sexual … [Read more...]

Unseduced and Unshaken: A Book Review

   The following is a book review of Rosalie de Rosset's book, Unseduced and Unshaken: The Place of Dignity in a Young Woman's Choices. I've been given a copy of the book to give to one of my readers, so if you're interested in a free book, leave a comment!  When I first began reading Unseduced and Unshaken (which one of my twitter followers joked sounded like what you'd get when you played a James Bond film backwards), though there were a few aspects of it that made … [Read more...]

The politics of forgiveness.

When Jesus was walking around on earth, in between turning water into wine and chillin' with sex workers and other folks that society didn't look on too fondly, he talked a lot about forgiveness. And when Jesus talked about forgiveness, it was always radical. It always gave power to the people in society that had none. It always humbled those who were in positions of power while asserting the humanity of those who had been affected by the abuse of power.I mean, take the woman caught in the … [Read more...]


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