Love And R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Image Found on Wikipedia (click for link). From Billboard, page 9, 15 July 1967

As regular readers know, I've recently read the Christian marriage book, Love and Respect (which was supposed to be included in my "You Are Not Your Own" series, but had to be cut due to time constraints), and have been discussing it here in blog posts and on Twitter. The big theme of the book--the one from which the title is derived--is author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' theory that a man's primary need is respect, and a woman's primary need is love. Eggerichs' believes women need to learn how … [Read more...]

The Magical Marriage Switch

This is a picture from Abe and my wedding. I took it.

[Content Note: Marital Sexual Coercion] Purity culture Christians like to think of marriage as  something almost magical. It's like flipping a magical switch where all the rules, standards, and beliefs about reality change. It's as if saying "I do" plummets you into an entirely new universe. Looking at how things change after the flipping of the magical marriage switch reveals some gaping holes in purity culture thinking. One of the most integral moments in my decision to say "screw … [Read more...]

Who’s Afraid of the Baby Jesus?

This is from Precious Moments--I got this image from Amazon.com (click for link)

Content note: brief mentions of child abuse, Christian patriarchy, Sovereign Grace Ministries I remember a sermon I heard during chapel at my old Christian college around Christmas time. The speaker lamented the tendency to focus on baby Jesus around Christmas time. He chalked this up to a desire to make God/Jesus safe and gentle and helpless, and he called for us to instead think of God as the victorious, conquering, badass king from Revelation. This idea made a lot of sense to me at … [Read more...]

What if God cares more about sexism than about how much you masturbate?

This is an image from the Jack Chick tract, "This Was Your Life" (h/t Nathan Redfield)

  "You may think your sins don't hurt anyone...but it hurts GOD." If you grew up in an evangelical or fundamentalist church, there's a good chance you heard this phrase growing up. I know I did. This was the phrase that pastors liked to whip out to counter this "liberal" idea that a sin is something that does harm in the world and hurts other people. In fact, these "don't harm anyone but GOD" sins are the ones evangelical Christians always seemed most concerned with (note: I … [Read more...]

Gender Justice and the Christ/Church Dichotomy

AugsburgConfessionArticle7OftheChurch

Last week I spent way too much of my time reading through and thinking over the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It wasn't exactly a thrill of a read, but the concepts in this book have helped me think more deeply about the theologies related to complementarianism. I don't think I like them much. The author of Love and Respect bases his entire book off of the favorite passage of complementarians: Ephesians 5:23. He claims that men and women are equal...but completely … [Read more...]

Complementarianism is a scam.

I'm still reading through the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Dr. Eggerichs is, obviously, a complementarian--meaning he believes that men are the heads of the household and are the providers and protectors, while women's job (all marriages in Eggerichs' world are one man/one woman) is to submit and nurture and care for the home. Dr. Eggerichs' does this thing that complementarians love to do now-a-days where he tries to convince folks that his way is actually good for … [Read more...]

What “Love and Respect” and “Fireproof” Teach Abusers and their Victims

Poster from the movie "Fireproof" (click for source)

Content Note: Descriptions of Abuse, Abuse Apologism Ever since we started dating, my husband Abe has been trying to talk me into watching the movie Fireproof with him. No, not because he thought it would help our relationship, but because he insisted that it was one of the funniest movies I'd ever see. A couple of weeks ago, we finally rented the DVD at Family Video (yes, those still exist), and he was right. It was pretty hilarious--in the same way that Troll 2 and Jaws The Revenge are … [Read more...]

Must Reads!

My cat loves feminist theology (photo by me)

Dig Deep: Beyond Lean In by bell hooks Sandberg’s work would not have captured the attention of progressives, particularly men, if she had not packaged the message of “lets go forward and work as equals within white male corporate elites” in the wrapping paper of feminism. Unsafe Spaces by Mikki Kendall  Does that mean that there is no good solution? No. Should abusers get help? Absolutely. Can they heal? Again, absolutely. I certainly think that the cycle can be broken. But their … [Read more...]

Privilege in Christian Pacifism: Privileged Pacifism’s Worldview Problem

shutterstock_65729302

This is my fourth, and final (probably...for now at least) piece on some of the problems that unevaluated privilege can cause in Christian pacifist movements. I’m linking this series up to h00die_R’s synchroblog on the topic–The New Pacifism. Be sure to check out my other posts here,  here, and here.  Content Note: Discussion of Hugo Schwyzer, John Howard Yoder, sexual abuse, and abuse apology Over the past few weeks at my church, my pastor--Julian Davies--has been going through … [Read more...]

Privilege in Christian Pacifism: What Counts as Violence?

RonPaulPeace

This is my third piece in a series about the problems that privilege brings to Christian pacifist movements. I'm linking this series up to h00die_R's synchroblog on the topic--The New Pacifism. Be sure to check out the other posts in my series here, and here.  I've already talked about privileged pacifism's tendency to take scenarios where violence might occur and treat them as thought exercises where they can fantasize about how they'd respond to that violence. I mentioned in this post that … [Read more...]


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