Yup, the REAL problem with the church is Millennials saying “YOLO”

Image by David Hayward. Click for a link to his blog which has many more awesome cartoons.

I'm going to start out by saying that I actually go to a church, and I actually enjoy it very much. This church does all kinds of social justice work in their community. It's filled with kick ass people, and the sermons actually teach me something (which I never got in the "just read the Bible! Only liberals need theology. All you need to know is that you're going to hell unless you say this little prayer" brand of Christianity). They put up with me even though I'm definitely not a United … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Unmarried Women Belong to Their Parents

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) who face sexual violenc … [Read more...]

When Anger Saved My Life

I don't know who made this. A friend sent it to me. If you know, please tell me so I can LOVE THEM.

Trigger Warning for Descriptions of Intimate Partner Violence, Sexual Assault, Self Injury, and Rape. I am angry.I mean, not right now. I'm actually fairly calmly sipping a lemon-berry shandy and chatting with my fiance about the use of F-bombs in Breaking Bad. I just mean in general. I get angry quite often, and I often hear things like "Why are you so angry?"I hate hearing things like this (in fact, thinking about them might be making me a little...angry).  I hate it when people te … [Read more...]

I don’t know, why do you tell your daughters to dress modestly?

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Trigger Warning for Modesty Culture B.S. and Benevolent Sexism. Also, I used more swear words than usually because I just can't even.When I read the piece on Christianity Today's women's blog entitled "Why I Tell My Daughters to Dress Modestly," my first response was "Because of benevolent sexism?"I've been talking about benevolent vs. hostile sexism on my blog a lot lately, and how often, people who adhere to benevolent sexist mindsets don't think of themselves as sexists. They look … [Read more...]

From the archives: A Church “Building Project” that Made a Difference

Image via Mary Jane Saunders

This post was originally published on December 7, 2012Many churches get super excited about building projects. These projects are supposed to represent big changes to the church, new ideas, progress, and relevance.Even the fundamentalist churches I've attended got excited about building projects, though these usually involved new gymnasiums where we could play the A.W.A.N.A "run around the circle and then go in for the beanbag" games rather than stadium seats or new stages for the … [Read more...]

Learning the Words: Justice

gavel

The blog Defeating the Dragons (by fellow ex-fundamentalist, Samantha) is running a series of guest posts on "the words many of us didn’t have in fundamentalism or overly conservative evangelicalism– and how we got them back." Today, I'm participating in that series, talking about the word "justice." How fundamentalists view the word "justice" and how feminist and liberation theologians view the word "justice" are two VERY different things: The justice of God, to fundamentalists, has absolutely … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Women are objects, or weaker animals

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Men Are Animals

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) … [Read more...]

You Are Not Your Own: Benevolent Sexism as the Solution to Hostile Sexism

superman-and-lois

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape … [Read more...]

Privilege, oppression, and being “nice”

Imagine you're standing there, minding your own business, and all of a sudden someone steps on your foot. You don't know if they're doing it on accident or on purpose--all you know is, it hurts.So, you tell the person standing on your foot, "Oww! Get off my foot!"The person standing on your foot responds by stomping down even harder, saying, "I didn't mean to stand on your foot. Why do you have to yell at me?" As they dig their heel further into your foot, they say, "I'd stop, but you … [Read more...]


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