“You Are Not Your Own:” When Metaphors For Sex Sound A Lot Like Like Rape

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksContent Note: rape, sexual assault, violent imagery, discussion of colonialism/imperialismWe're getting toward the end of my series on rape and sexual assault in evangelical Christian dating books (Dateable, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Real Marriage, and When God Writes Your Love Story). If you need to catch up, you can find older posts here. Here are the … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Only Selfish Wives Say No

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, coercion Note 1: Some of you have noticed that I always link adorable bunnies to Mark Driscoll's name in my blogs. Thought I would remind people that credit for that idea goes to this tumblr conversation! Enjoy the bunnies! Moving right along on my series on rape and sexual assault in Christian dating books. … [Read more...]

On Hugo Schwyzer and Christianity’s Open Door Policy for Abusers

Trigger Warning: Abuse apologism, murder/suicide, Hugo SchwyzerWe have to talk about Hugo Schwyzer.If you don't spend a lot of time involved in "secular" online feminism you may not recognize that name. Fortunately, he didn't get as much of an "in" in the Christian feminist blogging world as I'm guessing he would have liked to. Schwyzer was a self-proclaimed male feminist and Women's Studies professor who became kind of a celebrity in online feminism for his pieces on gender issues. When … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners…Even Before Marriage

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultToday, I'm continuing my series in which I share the results of my undergraduate thesis on rape and sexual assault in popular evangelical Christian dating books. After reading Real Marriage, When God Writes Your Love Story, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and Dateable, I came across four significant findings:These b … [Read more...]

If Jesus is Lord, then Caesar is not.

Last night at church, my pastor talked about the phrase "Jesus is Lord," and what that phrase means. After church, a fellow church goer was wanting to start a conversation about what "Jesus is Lord" means to different people and asked if I would write a blog post on the subject.My relationship with the idea that "Jesus is Lord" is complicated in a couple of ways. First of all, as someone who identifies as both a Unitarian Universalist and a Christian, I am wary of the exclusive mindset such … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) who face sexual violenc … [Read more...]

Maybe God is a “bitch”

In the months following my decision to leave fundamentalism for good, I began to shy away from the idea of God as a God of wrath. No, how could God be wrathful? God is love. God isn't angry at us. God loves us.Maybe I was wrong.The wrath of God in fundamentalism is often used to talk about God sending little children to hell for taking a cookie out of the cookie jar. It's often used to talk about how God was so furious with us disgusting human beings that God had to use his own son, Jes … [Read more...]

Yup, the REAL problem with the church is Millennials saying “YOLO”

Image by David Hayward. Click for a link to his blog which has many more awesome cartoons.

I'm going to start out by saying that I actually go to a church, and I actually enjoy it very much. This church does all kinds of social justice work in their community. It's filled with kick ass people, and the sermons actually teach me something (which I never got in the "just read the Bible! Only liberals need theology. All you need to know is that you're going to hell unless you say this little prayer" brand of Christianity). They put up with me even though I'm definitely not a United … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Unmarried Women Belong to Their Parents

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) who face sexual violenc … [Read more...]

When Anger Saved My Life

Trigger Warning for Descriptions of Intimate Partner Violence, Sexual Assault, Self Injury, and Rape. I am angry.I mean, not right now. I'm actually fairly calmly sipping a lemon-berry shandy and chatting with my fiance about the use of F-bombs in Breaking Bad. I just mean in general. I get angry quite often, and I often hear things like "Why are you so angry?"I hate hearing things like this (in fact, thinking about them might be making me a little...angry).  I hate it when people te … [Read more...]


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