When my abuser is welcome at the table, I am not.

It's the cool thing in more progressive branches of Christianity now to talk about how EVERYONE is welcome at the communion table. I should be glad about that, I guess.I mostly just serve communion to myself (sometimes a cat or two joins in) while locked in my bedroom nowadays. Not much of a "communion," I know. I'm probably committing all sorts of blasphemy, but that's the best I can do right now. Maybe if I swapped the leftover pizza that I use as the body of Christ for some Zoloft I'd be … [Read more...]

There are little lights everywhere.

Photo by Fraser Gunn (Click for source)

I used to believe that the Church was the light of the world.A beacon of hope to a lost and dying world.I don't believe that anymore, because I left the Church once. I slammed the door behind me and braced myself for the darkness. But when I stepped outside I saw light. I saw light everywhere like stars in a country sky.I'm glad I no longer believe that the Church is the last hope for a world lost in darkness.The Church can be so stingy with its light. … [Read more...]

We are thin spaces.

Sarah and her cat

I've been reading N.T. Wright's Surprised by Hope for several months now (with my internship, my research project, plus school and work, it's been a slow process). In one section he discusses an idea of the "theology of space." His discussion mostly revolves around whether or not churches should continue to have buildings.I have a lot of mixed feelings about church buildings, personally. I was sexually abused in a church nursery as a child, so for most of my life just walking into a church b … [Read more...]

Spiritual Abuse Awareness Week: Violences are Connected

Back in February, Sen. Marco Rubio explained why he opposed the Violence Against Women Act: I could not support the final, entire legislation that contains new provisions that could have potentially adverse consequences. Specifically, this bill would mandate the diversion of a portion of funding from domestic violence programs to sexual assault programs. Rubio has this idea, apparently, that different types of abuse have nothing to do with one another. Not a surprising conclusion in a world … [Read more...]

Must Reads!

Here are some posts from the past week or so that you simply must read.[Note: Several of these have a trigger warning] Maybe I’m not outraged. I’m exhausted and open and exposed and a lot of other people are too because we are wounds that get picked at and picked at and picked at one day, there won’t be anything left to heal.When we blame women for the reactions of men – whether it is to their art, to their clothing, to their “unladylike” behavior like riding public transit after dark – we r … [Read more...]

Let me be angry.

Trigger Warning for abuse and rape: I've been tired of fighting. Been feeling like nothing is coming through. Been terrified of being dismissed as an angry feminist. But being too filled with words--bursting at the seams with them. All the words I've held back because of fear and good ol' Christian niceties.All those words can't be contained anymore.Because things are wrong.Things are unfair.People are hurting.How can you just stand there?And there I go again. I guess I am just an … [Read more...]

A church “building project” that made a difference

Many churches get super excited about building projects. These projects are supposed to represent big changes to the church, new ideas, progress, and relevance.Even the fundamentalist churches I've attended got excited about building projects, though these usually involved new gymnasiums where we could play the A.W.A.N.A "run around the circle and then go in for the beanbag" games rather than stadium seats or new stages for the worship band.Still, the idea is the same. If we build THIS, they … [Read more...]

The church needs to do a better job of talking about sex, and it knows it.

The evangelical church (in general--every time I paint the church in broad strokes like this I get people who share church experiences that look nothing like the picture I've just created, and that's awesome! I love hearing about your positive church experiences!) needs to do a better job of talking about sex.I think we all know that. I think even most churches know that. In fact, a lot of churches will admit it up front.I went to a church once where the preacher even began his sermon by … [Read more...]

Not them. Us.

This week, Amendment One passed in North Carolina. We all know this by now, I'm sure.And we all know who is responsible.I don't know what we Christians hope to accomplish. Even if you believe same-sex marriage is wrong (I personally do not think there is anything wrong with same-sex relationships--here is why. Please don't waste your time trying to argue it with me in the comments section because I've made a well-researched decision and you're not going to change my mind at this point), what … [Read more...]

When your home church doesn’t feel like home

I've been away from my hometown in Michigan for four years now, but I'm back, for at least a year.Only it doesn't feel like home right now.Parts do. I get along with my parents better than I ever did, and, now that I am no longer an angsty teenager, I can see them as humans...friends even. My siblings and I are as close as ever, and even though my best friend (since we were babies) is now all married and grown up, our relationship is the same as ever. Two of our three cats still like to … [Read more...]


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