Love And R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Image Found on Wikipedia (click for link). From Billboard, page 9, 15 July 1967

As regular readers know, I've recently read the Christian marriage book, Love and Respect (which was supposed to be included in my "You Are Not Your Own" series, but had to be cut due to time constraints), and have been discussing it here in blog posts and on Twitter.The big theme of the book--the one from which the title is derived--is author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' theory that a man's primary need is respect, and a woman's primary need is love. Eggerichs' believes women need to learn how to … [Read more...]

Gender Justice and the Christ/Church Dichotomy

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Last week I spent way too much of my time reading through and thinking over the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It wasn't exactly a thrill of a read, but the concepts in this book have helped me think more deeply about the theologies related to complementarianism.I don't think I like them much.The author of Love and Respect bases his entire book off of the favorite passage of complementarians: Ephesians 5:23. He claims that men and women are equal...but completely di … [Read more...]

Complementarianism is a scam.

I'm still reading through the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Dr. Eggerichs is, obviously, a complementarian--meaning he believes that men are the heads of the household and are the providers and protectors, while women's job (all marriages in Eggerichs' world are one man/one woman) is to submit and nurture and care for the home.Dr. Eggerichs' does this thing that complementarians love to do now-a-days where he tries to convince folks that his way is actually good for women. I … [Read more...]

What “Love and Respect” and “Fireproof” Teach Abusers and their Victims

Poster from the movie "Fireproof" (click for source)

Content Note: Descriptions of Abuse, Abuse ApologismEver since we started dating, my husband Abe has been trying to talk me into watching the movie Fireproof with him. No, not because he thought it would help our relationship, but because he insisted that it was one of the funniest movies I'd ever see. A couple of weeks ago, we finally rented the DVD at Family Video (yes, those still exist), and he was right. It was pretty hilarious--in the same way that Troll 2 and Jaws The Revenge are h … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Only Selfish Wives Say No

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, coercion Note 1: Some of you have noticed that I always link adorable bunnies to Mark Driscoll's name in my blogs. Thought I would remind people that credit for that idea goes to this tumblr conversation! Enjoy the bunnies! Moving right along on my series on rape and sexual assault in Christian dating books. … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners…Even Before Marriage

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultToday, I'm continuing my series in which I share the results of my undergraduate thesis on rape and sexual assault in popular evangelical Christian dating books. After reading Real Marriage, When God Writes Your Love Story, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and Dateable, I came across four significant findings:These b … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners

runaway-bride-cake-topper-

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) who face sexual violenc … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Women are objects, or weaker animals

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Men Are Animals

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) … [Read more...]

You Are Not Your Own: Benevolent Sexism as the Solution to Hostile Sexism

superman-and-lois

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape … [Read more...]


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