Loving My Mind for Lent.

Last year, during Lent, I wrote what would turn out to be one of my most popular blog posts of all time. In this post, "Loving My Body for Lent," I decided that for Lent, I would give up the harmful teachings I'd inherited from purity culture, and I would take on a new attitude toward my own body. I’m setting it free from the hatred that I have directed toward it for years and years. I’m setting it free from any responsibility that the church tries to put on it for the sins of men. I’m setting i … [Read more...]

Embodied Faith is a Faith I Can Live With

Image via Suzannah Paul

Today, I'm guest posting at Suzannah Paul's blog on the topic of Embodied Faith. This is a really important topic to me--the idea that my faith matters to my body and to the experiences I have in my body has been so healing and freeing for me. So, I hope you'll check out my post and the other posts in Suzannah's series on Embodied Faith!Here's a quick preview: What theological insight can I gain from my body and from my bodily experiences?In my depression, I can meet with the suffering … [Read more...]

Resurrection and the Surviving God

Empty-Tomb-300x300

Content Note: brief description of a suicide attempt This past year, around Easter, I planned on writing some posts about crucifixion and resurrection. I found I couldn't really get past the former. I mean, I'm a skeptic on the idea of the literal resurrection of Jesus to begin with, but I found I couldn't even envision a risen God. A victorious living God.A suffering God? A dying God? An oppressed God? Yeah, I could see that. I could see that clearly. In fact, writing about the … [Read more...]

Can you love others if you can’t love yourself?

Image by Allie Brosh (click for link)

Trigger Warning for discussions of depression and suicideToday on Twitter, someone that I follow tweeted a familiar phrase. You've probably heard it before too."How can you love others if you can't love yourself?"I hear this line frequently. Often it's from smart people, from people that I admire. From people who really, really think that they've got a good idea going here. But here's the thing . . .It's bullshit.Not only is it bullshit, but it's harmful. I'm guessing the … [Read more...]

Stop giving a damn!

This morning, I counted how many days it's been since I last wrote something.Six days.Six long days where I was unable to write.At first, I wondered if I've had writer's block. But, no. I've had so many ideas for blog posts lately that my brain can hardly juggle them all. No, writer's block isn't the problem.The problem is that I started giving a damn.Like most people, I spent the majority of my life giving a damn what people thought about me. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to be … [Read more...]

Listen up, Zoloft…

This past Thursday was the happiest I've been in months.That's a little weird to say because I didn't have any big adventures or go to any cool concerts. I just got up at 9:00 am and walked to French class in the rain, and it was cold and my socks got wet. Then, I went to the doctor's office and filled out papers and got needles shoved into my veins and stuff.But, as I mentioned in my last blog post, after my appointment, my doctor gave me a prescription for hope....oh, and also … [Read more...]

Sarah vs. Evil Overlord Depression

I don't remember exactly when I first started suffering from depression. It was probably around junior high.Back then, depression would waltz in and out of my life. It would stick around for a few days or weeks, then it would leave, and it would forget to call, and good riddance!When I started dating my abusive ex-boyfriend at age 16, depression decided to crash on the futon for a few weeks. Those weeks turned into months......and years.The first two years involved many a prayer to … [Read more...]

You’re “Not Alone.” No, really! (a book review)

Those might be the most comforting words in the English language.But when you suffer from depression, they are sometimes very hard to believe. The book Not Alone: Stories of Living with Depression, edited by Alise Write, takes those words and brings them to life--makes them real and powerful.Not Alone is a collection of 37 true stories submitted by 37 different contributors. The contributors share their personal stories of their struggles with depression, and they don't hold back.They … [Read more...]

Thought zombies

I started writing a blog post yesterday and I didn't actually finish it.I published it anyway for some reason, and the result can be found here. I think I managed to put some semi-decent finishing touches on it and at least come to some sort of conclusion.I think.I didn't actually proof-read it. I just hit the shiny, blue "publish" button and tried to forget. But I had really had a lot more to say.Somewhere in the middle of writing, a tsunami of memories crashed over my brain and I just … [Read more...]

Having secrets makes me lonely

If you haven't ever visited http://www.postsecret.com/, you should do so. People mail postcards containing a secret to the site's creator. Every Sunday, new secrets are posted.I've never sent in any of my secrets but there is usually at least one secret each week that I can relate to. And sometimes being able to relate to something can be helpful.Take the past two weeks for example. I spent them fighting off depression. Nothing new. I've struggled with depression on and off for most of my … [Read more...]


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