Some humans are more equal than others: John Piper on spousal abuse and submission

I'm doing a series on complementarianism's manipulative claims at promoting equality. You can read the intro here. The first entry, on Joshua Harris, can be found here.When I first left the tiny bubble of the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church and stepped into the larger (but still restrictive) bubble of conservative evangelicalism, I learned that I was supposed to love John Piper.However, even though I was still a (fairly rebellious) conservative at the time, John Piper's view of women … [Read more...]

Some Humans Are More Equal Than Others: Joshua Harris on Male Authority and Female Submission

I'm doing a short series on some examples of the way that complementarians claim to promote equality for women....but don't. You can read the introduction here. The first complementarian leader I'd like to discuss in this series is Joshua Harris. Like many ex-fundamentalists and evangelicals, I read one of his books in college (Boy Meets Girl) and still have some issues because of it.And now, for research purposes, I am reading another Joshua Harris book (I Kissed Dating Goodbye) and t … [Read more...]

Some humans are more equal than others: Introduction

Complementarian evangelical leaders like to pretend that their view of women is something other than exactly what it sounds like. They like to pretend that feminists (with our silly, womanly emotions) are just overreacting, misunderstanding, or twisting their words."Real" complementarians practice godly, Christ-like leadership. They don't dominate or abuse their wives. Feminists just don't understand what's really good for them--they don't understand that complementarianism isn't about a … [Read more...]

I’m happy.

I'm happy.It feels good to say that and really mean it. Life has been a struggle ever since I can remember--healing from abuse suffered as a child and as a teenager--and life is still a struggle.But I feel like I'm winning.For the first time in my life I feel like I'm winning. I am healing. I am at peace with who I am as a person and as a woman, thanks to feminism. I am at peace with my spirituality thanks to a few good churches and thanks to Universalism and feminist theology. I feel … [Read more...]

A new hope

Today, I checked my phone compulsively for tweets from Connor Park and Dianna Anderson, who were updating the Twitter world on the status of the Church of England's synod on whether or not to ordain women bishops. Today, I thought that there was no way women could lose this battle. No way.But I was wrong.Today, I sat in the student union, and a couple of men (who I can only describe as "dudebros") sat down near me. As I received the disappointing news via Twitter that the Church of England h … [Read more...]

The founding fathers get a free pass. The feminists? Not so much.

It is more than acceptable in our society to quote one of the founding fathers to prove a point. I see liberals and conservatives do this alike, and, even though I rarely quote these men, I am not necessarily going to criticize those who do (so if you're going to skip straight to the comments and argue with me about why it's okay to quote the founding fathers, save it).But many of our founding fathers were racists and slave-owners. This is undeniable. We know this, yet we quote their words … [Read more...]

We have it “so good.”

What if I told you a story about a Muslim girl from the Middle East? She is dating a man. They're probably going to get married. She doesn't really want this to happen but she's afraid to leave him. Besides, she's given him her virginity (well, he took it, anyway) so she's now damaged goods. "No other man could ever want you," he tells her. Every day. And she believes him because her religious leaders have always taught her the same thing. He dictates what she wears. He tells her she must … [Read more...]

Feminism and abstinence

bell hooks states in her book Feminist Theory, From Margin to Center: One aspect of sexual norms that many people find oppressive is the assumption that one "should" be engaged in sexual activity. This "should" is one expression of sexual coercion...When...emphasis is placed on ending sexual oppression...it is possible to envision a society in which it is as much of an expression of sexual freedom to choose not to participate in sexual activity as it is to choose to participate. Having grown up … [Read more...]

Men who think consent is overrated are not good men.

TRIGGER WARNING: Rape(thanks to Ryan Stauffer for bringing this to my attention)Recently, The Good Men Project--who think of themselves as "a glimpse of what enlightened masculinity might look like in the 21st century"--tweeted a story that I blame for the fact that I skipped lunch today. It literally made me lose my appetite.I've had problems with The Good Men Project in the past (this post by Amy Mitchell lays out just of few of my reasons why). But the misogynist post I read today … [Read more...]

All of who we are

When I first started dating my now-fiance, I had just recently begun calling myself a feminist. I had just recently begun to look at the way the world around me privileged men and say, "Hey! This isn't right."Thanks to my new found worldview, I saw Abe as having privilege over me. I expected him to be aware of that privilege, and I expected him to be extremely careful not to use that privilege in ways that might hurt me. I thought that he, as a man, was more privileged than me, as a woman.I … [Read more...]


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