What “Love and Respect” and “Fireproof” Teach Abusers and their Victims

Poster from the movie "Fireproof" (click for source)

Content Note: Descriptions of Abuse, Abuse Apologism Ever since we started dating, my husband Abe has been trying to talk me into watching the movie Fireproof with him. No, not because he thought it would help our relationship, but because he insisted that it was one of the funniest movies I'd ever see. A couple of weeks ago, we finally rented the DVD at Family Video (yes, those still exist), and he was right. It was pretty hilarious--in the same way that Troll 2 and Jaws The Revenge are … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Wrapping Things Up

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Content Note: rape, sexual assault We've come to the last post in my series about rape and sexual assault in evangelical Christian dating books. Yup, that's right... ...It's time to kiss dating books goodbye.  To sum up, there were four significant findings related to rape and sexual assault in these books: These books create … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners…Even Before Marriage

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault Today, I'm continuing my series in which I share the results of my undergraduate thesis on rape and sexual assault in popular evangelical Christian dating books. After reading Real Marriage, When God Writes Your Love Story, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and Dateable, I came across four significant … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault Note: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) who face sexual … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Women are objects, or weaker animals

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexism Note: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Men Are Animals

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexism Note: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only … [Read more...]

You Are Not Your Own: Benevolent Sexism as the Solution to Hostile Sexism

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexism Note: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my project, male … [Read more...]

Privilege, oppression, and being “nice”

Imagine you're standing there, minding your own business, and all of a sudden someone steps on your foot. You don't know if they're doing it on accident or on purpose--all you know is, it hurts. So, you tell the person standing on your foot, "Oww! Get off my foot!" The person standing on your foot responds by stomping down even harder, saying, "I didn't mean to stand on your foot. Why do you have to yell at me?" As they dig their heel further into your foot, they say, "I'd stop, but you … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” So, whose are you?

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, and dehumanization Note: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own” Series: Religion and Rape Myth Acceptance

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, and dehumanization Note: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my … [Read more...]