Would Father’s Day be different?

Would Father's Day be different . . .If Christianity wasn't preaching that, not only are they allowed to hit their children, but they must hit their children in order to be good fathers?If complementarianism wasn't telling dads that it's a woman's job to raise children, and that caring, nurturing men are "emasculated?"If society wasn't still pumping out the tired, old idea that masculinity equals power, and that men who do not have complete control over their families are not real me … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own” Series: On Traditional Gender Roles and Dehumanization

female-animalization-2

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, and dehumanizationNote: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my proj … [Read more...]

Spiritual Abuse Awareness Week: Violences are Connected

Back in February, Sen. Marco Rubio explained why he opposed the Violence Against Women Act: I could not support the final, entire legislation that contains new provisions that could have potentially adverse consequences. Specifically, this bill would mandate the diversion of a portion of funding from domestic violence programs to sexual assault programs. Rubio has this idea, apparently, that different types of abuse have nothing to do with one another. Not a surprising conclusion in a world … [Read more...]

Do Gender Roles Cause Unrealistic Expectations for Relationships?

I wrote a guest post for Kevin Olenick about how the gender roles I learned in a Joshua Harris book put an unnecessary amount of stress and pain on a previous relationship. When my last boyfriend and I started getting more serious about our relationship and were wondering “Where do we go from here?” we decided to seek some counsel from books. So I went to the Christian bookstore on my Christian college’s campus and picked up Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris.Now, my ex and I had both grown up in … [Read more...]

Some humans are more equal than others: Introduction

Complementarian evangelical leaders like to pretend that their view of women is something other than exactly what it sounds like. They like to pretend that feminists (with our silly, womanly emotions) are just overreacting, misunderstanding, or twisting their words."Real" complementarians practice godly, Christ-like leadership. They don't dominate or abuse their wives. Feminists just don't understand what's really good for them--they don't understand that complementarianism isn't about a … [Read more...]

So, what about the men?

1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted by age 18.*1 in 33 men will be experience completed or attempt rape in his lifetime.*52% of gay men will experience coercion from a partner*22% of male prison inmates will be raped during their incarceration**Out of all the victims of murder by an intimate partner, about 1/4 are male.***Even as victims, men who leave abusive female partners have a high risk of losing custody of their children.****And, even though it is estimated that men make up … [Read more...]

Stop breaking off pieces of yourself in the name of Biblical manhood or womanhood!

"Play your position!"I've read this illustration many times: " If a goalie on the soccer team spends all his energy trying to score a goal, he hurts his team because he's not playing his position."True, true. Great advice.But then they continue. They always continue. "You're a woman. You don't need to be doing man's work. You'll hurt your family if you're out pursuing a PhD instead of caring for your children. You'll hurt your family if you are being ambitious toward your own goals rather … [Read more...]

Sick of being “miss represented”

I watched a video today that made me cry.That's saying something, because my tear ducts are fairly selective about who they work for. I didn't even cry on The Lion King (and yes, I do have a heart, thank you very much).But this video, a trailer for the film Miss Representation,  made me cry, in sadness and in anger. In desperation and in frustration. I sincerely hope you'll take the time to watch it:This video made me cry because it hit so close to home.The video observes: "Girls get th … [Read more...]

Is the church a few steps behind?

I've never heard a pastor talk positively about the feminist movement.But when I read my Bible and see verses where Jesus tells Martha to get out of the kitchen and sit at his feet like a disciple, and when I see verses where Paul tells men in an oppressively patriarchal society to love, serve, and sacrifice for the "property" known as their wives, I can't deny it...Jesus is all for setting women free.Jesus is all about overthrowing society's power structures.I don't believe I should … [Read more...]

Relationships, gender, and cacophonous music

Helmet? Check. Mouth guard? Check. Boxing gear? Check.Okay, I think I'm ready to tackle this issue again.If you're a blogger and you want to say anything about gender roles, you better prepare yourself for a "whole lot of ugly coming at you from a never-ending train of stupid."Anyone who challenges traditional gender roles is going to get sandwiched with opposition. And anyone who defends traditional gender roles is going to find himself/herself in a similar BLT of aversion. Why is this … [Read more...]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X