“You Are Not Your Own:” Wrapping Things Up

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksContent Note: rape, sexual assaultWe've come to the last post in my series about rape and sexual assault in evangelical Christian dating books. Yup, that's right......It's time to kiss dating books goodbye. To sum up, there were four significant findings related to rape and sexual assault in these books:These books create an en … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners…Even Before Marriage

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultToday, I'm continuing my series in which I share the results of my undergraduate thesis on rape and sexual assault in popular evangelical Christian dating books. After reading Real Marriage, When God Writes Your Love Story, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and Dateable, I came across four significant findings:These b … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) who face sexual violenc … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Unmarried Women Belong to Their Parents

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) who face sexual violenc … [Read more...]

You Are Not Your Own: Benevolent Sexism as the Solution to Hostile Sexism

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape … [Read more...]

New Series on Rape and Sexual Assault in Christian Dating Books: “You Are Not Your Own”

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If you're a regular reader from my old address at SarahOverTheMoon.com, or if you follow me on social media (and if you don't, check out my Facebook page and Twitter account!), you've probably heard me about a research project that I've been working on since January for my undergraduate capstone. I've been reading Christian dating books and analyzing the messages that they send (or fail to send) about rape, sexual assault, and consent. My project is called "You Are Not Your Own: Rape, Sexual … [Read more...]

Damming up justice: King David, power, and rape

As many of you know, I've been doing research on Christian dating books and their treatment of rape and sexual assault. One such book that I've been reading is the infamous I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris.In one section that I found interesting, Harris is explaining that "purity does not happen by accident. After telling the story of David and Bathsheba, and reminding us that protecting our purity is a constant process, Josh Harris goes on to explain the "seductive spirit of ido … [Read more...]

Do Gender Roles Cause Unrealistic Expectations for Relationships?

I wrote a guest post for Kevin Olenick about how the gender roles I learned in a Joshua Harris book put an unnecessary amount of stress and pain on a previous relationship. When my last boyfriend and I started getting more serious about our relationship and were wondering “Where do we go from here?” we decided to seek some counsel from books. So I went to the Christian bookstore on my Christian college’s campus and picked up Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris.Now, my ex and I had both grown up in … [Read more...]

Some Humans Are More Equal Than Others: Joshua Harris on Male Authority and Female Submission

I'm doing a short series on some examples of the way that complementarians claim to promote equality for women....but don't. You can read the introduction here. The first complementarian leader I'd like to discuss in this series is Joshua Harris. Like many ex-fundamentalists and evangelicals, I read one of his books in college (Boy Meets Girl) and still have some issues because of it.And now, for research purposes, I am reading another Joshua Harris book (I Kissed Dating Goodbye) and t … [Read more...]

Some humans are more equal than others: Introduction

Complementarian evangelical leaders like to pretend that their view of women is something other than exactly what it sounds like. They like to pretend that feminists (with our silly, womanly emotions) are just overreacting, misunderstanding, or twisting their words."Real" complementarians practice godly, Christ-like leadership. They don't dominate or abuse their wives. Feminists just don't understand what's really good for them--they don't understand that complementarianism isn't about a … [Read more...]


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