My body remembers

[TRIGGER WARNINGS: Rape and Abuse] As many of you know, in highschool I spent a year in an abusive relationship. Some of my memories of my abuse are vague and foggy. But then other memories I remember well. The ones I remember the most clearly are the ones I remember not only in my mind, but in the rest of my body as well. As I think about my connection with my body, and I think about my commitment to reconnect with and love my body for Lent, I also have to think of the ways my body has been … [Read more...]

On being a female body at a Christian college

[I wrote recently about learning to love my body for Lent. Part of that loving so far has involved some deep contemplation about where the fear and hatred come from. And I've realized something. Part of my body hatred, and by extension part of my self hatred, comes from the fact that oppressive people have used my female body  to justifying oppressing me. I hate my body and myself because, deep down, I blame my body (and thus myself) for the ways in which I've been hurt by others. Two … [Read more...]

Loving my body for Lent

As a former fundamental Baptist, this is only my second year of observing Lent. Lent, when I was growing up, was one of those things that Catholics do because they don't really believe in Jesus (I don't think most Baptist preachers actually know any Catholics) and so they are enslaved to law and to rules and boundaries. I thought, as a Baptist, that I was so lucky to not be enslaved to rules like those Catholics were. Funny, considering the fact that when I was thinking this, I likely had … [Read more...]

I’m giving up hate-reading for Lent!

I used to be a self-injurer. Once or twice a week for six years, I had a date with a razor-blade. Then, last October, I started taking medicine to treat my depression and eventually my self-injuring tendencies went away... ...sorta. I don't hurt myself physically anymore. In fact, it's rarely even a temptation now-a-days, which is a great accomplishment for me. But, sometimes I wonder if I have simply replaced my razor blade with a thing I've heard called hate-reading. A couple times a week … [Read more...]


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