Love And R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Image Found on Wikipedia (click for link). From Billboard, page 9, 15 July 1967

As regular readers know, I've recently read the Christian marriage book, Love and Respect (which was supposed to be included in my "You Are Not Your Own" series, but had to be cut due to time constraints), and have been discussing it here in blog posts and on Twitter.The big theme of the book--the one from which the title is derived--is author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' theory that a man's primary need is respect, and a woman's primary need is love. Eggerichs' believes women need to learn how to … [Read more...]

The Magical Marriage Switch

This is a picture from Abe and my wedding. I took it.

[Content Note: Marital Sexual Coercion]Purity culture Christians like to think of marriage as  something almost magical. It's like flipping a magical switch where all the rules, standards, and beliefs about reality change. It's as if saying "I do" plummets you into an entirely new universe. Looking at how things change after the flipping of the magical marriage switch reveals some gaping holes in purity culture thinking.One of the most integral moments in my decision to say "screw … [Read more...]

Gender Justice and the Christ/Church Dichotomy

AugsburgConfessionArticle7OftheChurch

Last week I spent way too much of my time reading through and thinking over the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It wasn't exactly a thrill of a read, but the concepts in this book have helped me think more deeply about the theologies related to complementarianism.I don't think I like them much.The author of Love and Respect bases his entire book off of the favorite passage of complementarians: Ephesians 5:23. He claims that men and women are equal...but completely di … [Read more...]

Complementarianism is a scam.

I'm still reading through the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Dr. Eggerichs is, obviously, a complementarian--meaning he believes that men are the heads of the household and are the providers and protectors, while women's job (all marriages in Eggerichs' world are one man/one woman) is to submit and nurture and care for the home.Dr. Eggerichs' does this thing that complementarians love to do now-a-days where he tries to convince folks that his way is actually good for women. I … [Read more...]

What “Love and Respect” and “Fireproof” Teach Abusers and their Victims

Poster from the movie "Fireproof" (click for source)

Content Note: Descriptions of Abuse, Abuse ApologismEver since we started dating, my husband Abe has been trying to talk me into watching the movie Fireproof with him. No, not because he thought it would help our relationship, but because he insisted that it was one of the funniest movies I'd ever see. A couple of weeks ago, we finally rented the DVD at Family Video (yes, those still exist), and he was right. It was pretty hilarious--in the same way that Troll 2 and Jaws The Revenge are h … [Read more...]


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