Would Father’s Day be different?

Would Father's Day be different . . .If Christianity wasn't preaching that, not only are they allowed to hit their children, but they must hit their children in order to be good fathers?If complementarianism wasn't telling dads that it's a woman's job to raise children, and that caring, nurturing men are "emasculated?"If society wasn't still pumping out the tired, old idea that masculinity equals power, and that men who do not have complete control over their families are not real me … [Read more...]

Can you love others if you can’t love yourself?

Image by Allie Brosh (click for link)

Trigger Warning for discussions of depression and suicideToday on Twitter, someone that I follow tweeted a familiar phrase. You've probably heard it before too."How can you love others if you can't love yourself?"I hear this line frequently. Often it's from smart people, from people that I admire. From people who really, really think that they've got a good idea going here. But here's the thing . . .It's bullshit.Not only is it bullshit, but it's harmful. I'm guessing the … [Read more...]

Spiritual Abuse Awareness Week: My Guest Post at Rachel Held Evans

Today I'm guest posting at Rachel Held Evans' blog, talking about abuse and images of God. God is love. I believe that with my whole heart.But what is God? And what is love?We need to ask ourselves these questions and think deeply about them before we can even begin to start solving the problem of abuse in the Christian church. Read the rest at RachelHeldEvans.com! … [Read more...]

For Grandma (Rest in Peace)

I wrote this piece for my grandmother about a year ago. She was not expected to live through the night that I wrote this. She ended up living another year because, what can I say? My grandma was a tough cookie. She passed away this morning, but this time I did get a chance to make a phone call and talk to her one last time. She's at peace. I'm at peace. I'm reposting this for her. I guess this is the goodbye that I won’t get to tell you.I’m here stuck at school studying for my exams that don’t se … [Read more...]

Feminisms Fest: I need feminism because there is no love without justice.

When I heard that Preston Yancey, Danielle Vermeer, and  J.R. Goudeau were hosting a three-day blog link-up discussing feminism, my first thought was "Damn this timing." See, I was planning on dedicating these very three days to finishing the literature review for my senior research project.So, yesterday I was too busy to contribute because I was staring at a blank Microsoft Word document thinking "Fuck it, I'm going to go watch Fullmetal Alchemist."Tomorrow, I'll probably be too busy to c … [Read more...]

Why I’m a Unitarian Universalist

I want to talk about faith for a second.I'm a Unitarian Universalist. People often ask me what that means. Basically, it's an interfaith religion that celebrates diversity, yet finds unity. Unity is found, not an agreement on doctrine, theologies, images of God, etc. but on these seven principles (quoted from UUA.org):The inherent worth and dignity of every person; Justice, equity and compassion in human relations; Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our … [Read more...]

Account and Countenance

Trigger Warning for intimate partner violence/verbal abuse and spiritual abuseI'm on a guest-posting streak apparently, because today I'm over at Dianna Anderson's blog talking  about images of God for her Account and Countenance series. I look around me, years later, and I see a Church that is terrified to look its theology in the face. I see a Church that is somehow okay with having two drastically different definitions of love—one for humans and one for God. I see a Church that holds God to … [Read more...]

When I don’t want to be a Christian anymore, I just believe in love

I believe in love.I feel that I must take a moment to define my term as best as I can here. I'm not talking about romance or affection or coziness or anything else that we all sometimes call love.I mean the force that moves us to see others as fully human. The force that moves us to care, and to hope for (and more importantly work for) a world where everyone is seen as (and treated as) fully human.Love, the absence of abuse, oppression, discrimination, exploitation.Love, the absence of … [Read more...]

A church “building project” that made a difference

Many churches get super excited about building projects. These projects are supposed to represent big changes to the church, new ideas, progress, and relevance.Even the fundamentalist churches I've attended got excited about building projects, though these usually involved new gymnasiums where we could play the A.W.A.N.A "run around the circle and then go in for the beanbag" games rather than stadium seats or new stages for the worship band.Still, the idea is the same. If we build THIS, they … [Read more...]

Their caricatures of me aren’t me.

Language is powerful, and so, when we find ourselves with enemies, we use their own language against them. Oppressive people do this to me often.They tell me I must tolerate their hateful, abusive religious beliefs.They tell me that speaking out against their slurs is taking away their free speech. They say I must coexist by remaining friends with people who actively work to take away the rights of my other friends.They call me a bad pacifist when I get angry (even if I do not act out in … [Read more...]


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