“You Are Not Your Own:” When Metaphors For Sex Sound A Lot Like Like Rape

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksContent Note: rape, sexual assault, violent imagery, discussion of colonialism/imperialismWe're getting toward the end of my series on rape and sexual assault in evangelical Christian dating books (Dateable, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Real Marriage, and When God Writes Your Love Story). If you need to catch up, you can find older posts here. Here are the … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Only Selfish Wives Say No

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, coercion Note 1: Some of you have noticed that I always link adorable bunnies to Mark Driscoll's name in my blogs. Thought I would remind people that credit for that idea goes to this tumblr conversation! Enjoy the bunnies! Moving right along on my series on rape and sexual assault in Christian dating books. … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners…Even Before Marriage

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultToday, I'm continuing my series in which I share the results of my undergraduate thesis on rape and sexual assault in popular evangelical Christian dating books. After reading Real Marriage, When God Writes Your Love Story, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and Dateable, I came across four significant findings:These b … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) who face sexual violenc … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Unmarried Women Belong to Their Parents

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) who face sexual violenc … [Read more...]

I don’t know, why do you tell your daughters to dress modestly?

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Trigger Warning for Modesty Culture B.S. and Benevolent Sexism. Also, I used more swear words than usually because I just can't even.When I read the piece on Christianity Today's women's blog entitled "Why I Tell My Daughters to Dress Modestly," my first response was "Because of benevolent sexism?"I've been talking about benevolent vs. hostile sexism on my blog a lot lately, and how often, people who adhere to benevolent sexist mindsets don't think of themselves as sexists. They look … [Read more...]

You Are Not Your Own: Benevolent Sexism as the Solution to Hostile Sexism

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” So, whose are you?

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, and dehumanizationNote: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my proj … [Read more...]

On glittery boobs and translating clothing into meaning

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Trigger Warnings on this post and the links in it for rape and violence against oppressed groupsUPDATE: I've closed the comments section for this post because I don't even wanna know what's going on down there anymore! Everybody (including myself) be accusing everybody of everything, and no one is discussing the actual content anymore. Anyone who still wants to chat can pack it up and move it to Twitter.Today I read a post on the blog  Rage Against the Minivan (which I don't read … [Read more...]

Must reads!

Lots of posts that I want to share this week. I hope you'll check them out, as they are all important! They discuss a wide variety of topics, from God, to rape culture, to The Wizard of Oz, to racism/homophobia, to the dangers of fraternizing with bears."For most of my Christian experience, I’ve only ever heard God described in verbs. Very busy verbs.""If you want to know why we need to educate men not to be sexually aggressive, look no further than what happened when Zerlina Maxwell went on … [Read more...]


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