Why do you know your limitations?

"I can't do that," a friend of mine said to me recently. "I know my limitations." I've heard that phrase many times. "I know my limitations." But my question to anyone who has uttered those four words is this: why do you know your limitations? Do you know your limitations because you put them there? Did you hand pick the bricks to build up the walls you've put around your life? Or, do you know your limitations because you've been to them? Because you've tested them and pushed them? Do you … [Read more...]

The wrong spiritual gift?

Update: for anyone who'd like to read my male friend's personal thoughts on this issue, check out today's guest post: "Conquering with kindness!" I am not a fan of gender roles, as anyone who's been reading my blog lately knows. As a women, I am constantly presented with expectations that I either cannot, or do not wish to live up to. But gender roles are bad for men too. A few weeks ago, I had a discussion with a male friend of mine (who gave me permission to anonymously write about him) … [Read more...]

The problem with generalization

I have been unable to avoid thinking about the issue of gender roles in our society and in the church. A few days ago, a famous pastor posted a facebook status calling people to mock "anatomically effeminate males," and reactions to this brought up some interesting discussion in the blogging world. "What gives us the right to call a man effeminate?" people wondered. Where do our standards come from? Inspired by others (especially Tyler L. Clark and Dianna E. Anderson) who were frustrated with … [Read more...]

Words bruise

As I've discussed in several of my posts lately, my first boyfriend was abusive. He didn't hit me very often (in fact, I only remember him hitting me once). He didn't need to. He could bench press 300 lbs, so I was just a rag doll to him. He pushed me around, threw me into things, or picked me up and shook me when he was angry. If I tried to run away, he would grab my arm so tightly that it would leave bruises in the shape of his hand. Those things hurt. They hurt badly. And the bruises were … [Read more...]