Purity Culture Doesn’t Want Men To Stop Getting Sex: It Wants Women To Stop Getting Power

Yesterday, I stumbled across an interesting blog post by David Murrow of "Church For Men." Interesting in that it is revealing of the way Christian purity culture operates.Purity Culture claims to be an anti-sex movement, but it's really not. As I've pointed out before, in purity culture is often all about sex...in marriage. Just take a gander at Mark Driscoll's infamous "Can We ____?" chapter of his book Real Marriage wherein he extols the virtues of marital sex--even oral sex, anal sex, and … [Read more...]

Lauren Winner’s Real Sex, and the Church’s Responsibility to Single Parents

Image of the book cover of Real Sex, by Lauren Winner. The cover is black, with a white blooming flower.

If you’ve been following this blog for any amount of time, you’ll know I have this thing about Christian dating/marriage books. By that I mean, I did my undergraduate research capstone on rape culture in Christian dating/marriage books. I’ve published a whole series about my research that you can read on this blog called “You Are Not Your Own: Rape, Sexual Assault, and Consent in Evangelical Christian Dating Books.”When I started doing this blog series, I also started getting recommendations … [Read more...]

Modest Is Hottest: A Guest Post for No Shame Movement

Today, I'm over at No Shame Movement sharing my story about growing up in Christian purity culture. Check it out! Also, be sure to read the other stories at NSM, and follow No Shame Movement on Twitter! “What would happen if I bought this shirt three sizes too small?” I joked to my sister, as we waited for my mom to finish up her shopping at the Christian bookstore. The shirt in question was a woman’s tee shirt with the words “Modest Is Hottest” across the front.The sizes seemed to line up w … [Read more...]

The Magical Marriage Switch

This is a picture from Abe and my wedding. I took it.

[Content Note: Marital Sexual Coercion]Purity culture Christians like to think of marriage as  something almost magical. It's like flipping a magical switch where all the rules, standards, and beliefs about reality change. It's as if saying "I do" plummets you into an entirely new universe. Looking at how things change after the flipping of the magical marriage switch reveals some gaping holes in purity culture thinking.One of the most integral moments in my decision to say "screw … [Read more...]

What if God cares more about sexism than about how much you masturbate?

This is an image from the Jack Chick tract, "This Was Your Life" (h/t Nathan Redfield)

 "You may think your sins don't hurt anyone...but it hurts GOD."If you grew up in an evangelical or fundamentalist church, there's a good chance you heard this phrase growing up. I know I did. This was the phrase that pastors liked to whip out to counter this "liberal" idea that a sin is something that does harm in the world and hurts other people.In fact, these "don't harm anyone but GOD" sins are the ones evangelical Christians always seemed most concerned with (note: I d … [Read more...]

Once Upon a Cheap Hotel Room

Content Note: Brief Mentions of Rape/Sexual Abuse[Disclaimer: This is a story of my personal experience, not a universal prescription for how people should react to sex. Obviously others have different experiences and what not. Those other experiences are valid, but so is mine] I didn't wait until marriage to have sex.If I'd heard someone admit that when I was younger, I might have gasped. I might have thought, "You didn't wait until marriage? What's wrong with you? How did you ever … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Wrapping Things Up

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksContent Note: rape, sexual assaultWe've come to the last post in my series about rape and sexual assault in evangelical Christian dating books. Yup, that's right......It's time to kiss dating books goodbye. To sum up, there were four significant findings related to rape and sexual assault in these books:These books create an en … [Read more...]

Rape Culture: It’s Not Just For Christian Dating Books!

Content Note: Rape CultureAs I wrote my You Are Not Your Own series over the past few months, one of the most frequent response I got was, "[Insert thing that is not a Christian dating book here] does this too!" This is true. Rape culture, benevolent sexism, dehumanization, etc. come from sources, often even from sources that aren't explicitly Christian.Because my series was based on a research project I did, it was very focused on one specific thing, and that one specific thing was … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Is Rape Just Another “Sexual Sin?”

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksContent Note: rape, sexual assault, victim blamingThis is the LAST post on the findings of my series on rape and sexual assault in Christian dating books (Dateable, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Real Marriage, andWhen God Writes Your Love Story). I may have a wrap-up post or two after this, but we're coming near to the end!If you are behind and need to c … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” When Metaphors For Sex Sound A Lot Like Like Rape

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksContent Note: rape, sexual assault, violent imagery, discussion of colonialism/imperialismWe're getting toward the end of my series on rape and sexual assault in evangelical Christian dating books (Dateable, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Real Marriage, and When God Writes Your Love Story). If you need to catch up, you can find older posts here. Here are the … [Read more...]


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