“Hymens are for Forming Blood Covenants” and Other Things I’ve Learned from Christian Dating Books

Image of a lamb lying on a sacrificial alter

I have read a lot of Christian dating books.You may have already read about some of these in my "You Are Not Your Own" series here on the blog (and now you can read about them in my academically published, peer-reviewed research article!). I still read them because they're fun to mock (I know, I know, that's so professional and academic of me), and because it's interesting to see how many Christian dating books have similar characteristics to the books I have officially res … [Read more...]

Lauren Winner’s Real Sex, and the Church’s Responsibility to Single Parents

Image of the book cover of Real Sex, by Lauren Winner. The cover is black, with a white blooming flower.

If you’ve been following this blog for any amount of time, you’ll know I have this thing about Christian dating/marriage books. By that I mean, I did my undergraduate research capstone on rape culture in Christian dating/marriage books. I’ve published a whole series about my research that you can read on this blog called “You Are Not Your Own: Rape, Sexual Assault, and Consent in Evangelical Christian Dating Books.”When I started doing this blog series, I also started getting recommendations … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Unmarried Women Belong to Their Parents

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assaultNote: this research mainly focused on female rape. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is a huge problem as well–1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. I wanted to make it clear that, despite the focus of my study, it is not only women (and definitely not only cisgender women) who face sexual violenc … [Read more...]

You Are Not Your Own: Benevolent Sexism as the Solution to Hostile Sexism

superman-and-lois

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, sexismNote: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own” Series: On Traditional Gender Roles and Dehumanization

female-animalization-2

This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating booksTrigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, and dehumanizationNote: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my proj … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own” Series: On Hostile and Benevolent Sexism

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books.Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, and victim blamingNote: this research mainly focused on female rape, so I am not sure if the same trends toward rape myth acceptance would apply in cases of male rape. If anyone wants to see if research has been done on that subject and report back, feel free. Though it is not the focus of my project, male rape is … [Read more...]

What is a Rape Myth?

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This post is part of a series called "You Are Not Your Own," focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books.Trigger Warning for Rape, Sexual Assault, and Victim Blaming AttitudesWhen I first started contemplating my research project, I thought I'd focus on rape myths. I thought I'd get a list of rape myths, read through the books I'd chosen to read for this study (Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris, When God … [Read more...]


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