I had a pretty traumatic emergency C-Section nearly three years ago when my daughter was born. Since then, I’ve had an immense amount of pent-up emotion and upset connected to that operation. Even after several years, I would constantly find myself still very much caught up in that incident. Not a day went by that I did not mull things over in my head, thinking of alternate endings, of what I should have could have done to change it, etc. I would lay in bed nearly every night running this through my head, very involuntary and it would continue to upset me.
I had been wanting to handle this incident with Dianetics, as that pent-up emotion and regret was ruining my life, and putting a damper on the happiness I should be having with my daughter.
When I finally was asked to address this in a Dianeticssession with my amazing auditor Susi, part of me really did not want to confront this, as nothing in the preceding 3 years had fully cleared away the grief, pain and regret from that incident.
The Dianetics session I then had was the longest I’d ever done and it was quite a journey! But I did it and boy, the results from this were literally life-changing.
My whole viewpoint on the matter did a one-eighty from total effect and victim to a realization that I’m at cause. That was actually the biggest realization for me! Without having to feel bad about myself or what happened, I was able to see how I had been cause over the whole thing and that handled it for me. I was no longer a self-pitying victim stuck in a hole of regret, but was cause and “poof” went the pain, grief and regret from that incident. Yay!
The true effect of having addressed this became noticeable over the next days and weeks. The first thing I noticed was that something in my space had totally calmed down. My whole area felt a lot calmer and clearer. That was all that pent-up emotion and all that negative thought gone. About one week after the session, I realized I had not once thought about the incident. Not even once!!!That was incredible in itself! The incident had been like my constant companion for years and it was just not there anymore. I suddenly realized how much of my attention had been stuck not only in the actual engram but in the fact that life was constantly stirring it up. God!! What a waste! I was so much more “in present time” now.The next thing that became clear was that my relationship with my daughter Ella improved a lot! I was able to be a lot more patient with her and was just able to enjoy her more than before. It was like we were now really allowed to be friends for the first time! Thinking of just that win, makes me emotional all over again – but in a very positive way! The incident had kept me from really being able to appreciate my daughter and be there for her just as myself and as it should have been. Now I was able to be that and that sudden cleanness of space between us was such a relief and joy.
This has been an incredible on-going win for me. I am so happy with finally having been able to handle this in session. Merci vielmal Susi!!!! You rock and I really appreciate that you had the patience and willingness to push me through this, auditing me on your own free time in your home. THANK YOU!
Originally posted on Scientology Parent. Based in the Washington, D.C. Metro area, Tad Reeves is a Linux system administrator, mountain biker, husband, father of two, and lifelong Scientologist. He’s written hundreds of articles on the subject of Scientology as it relates to parenting and family, as well as various commentary on the Scientology religion.