John Travolta’s Mothers’ Day Message to Kelly Preston. So beautiful it just had to be shared.
Family and my Descision to be a Scientologist
March 27, 2012 By Leave a Comment
A college anthropology student sent me a question from my Scientology Parent page, as she’s doing some study for her class on how family history & background can lead people to various religions. As she was studying about Scientology, she was curious how my own family and significant events in my life led me to Scientology. Her questions were thought-provoking on my part (an angle I’d not yet thought about) so I figured I’d post my answers here.
Question: How does your family history relate to your quest for meaning in life? How has the history of your family led you to Scientology?
I touched on this when I was answering a similar question for another student here, but I’ll try to tackle both parts of that question.
My mother and father were both Scientologists at the time I was born, both of them becoming involved with the religion about 4 years prior. Until I was about 9 years old, we lived out on a 10-acre farm in mid-coast Maine, in a town of about 600 people. Our nearest Scientology organization was in Boston, about 4 hours to the south, so I didn’t spend much time in the Church as I was growing up. I knew quite well that my parents were Scientologists, though. My parents quite liberally used Scientology Assists with my sister and me, a practice that instantly made sense to me and which I found helpful. Other various basic tenets of Scientology found their way into conversations & questions that I’d pose, but it wasn’t until I was about 7 that I think I started to choose my own way on Scientology a bit.
See, I did have a number of friends who went to local churches on Sundays. They’d attend their Sunday school as well. I do remember posing questions to my parents and to my friends about why they went to church. The only reason I could seem to get anyone to tell me was because they were meant to go to church, and that they did that because they were Christian. The reasoning seemed quite circular to me at the time (go to church because you’re Christian because you have to go to church) and I wasn’t really tracking – there didn’t seem to be a purpose, and it seemed to my 9-year-old logic to be a great way to waste a Sunday when you could be out building a fort in the woods.
But I did learn that when my parents went to their Scientology church, they explained to me that it was always for a purpose. They were always there doing a specific course of study or counseling action, one which had real-world benefit and was to help them with something that could be actually articulated (even to a 9-year-old) as a tangible benefit. I naturally asked if I could take a course too, and enrolled on a communication course. At the end of that communication course, I honestly felt I had learned something – I had figured out how to communicate better, I figured out that I could get my point across clearly, I understood why people didn’t like being interrupted, and that it was enjoyable for both parties when you’d acknowledge when you understood what they said.
And for me, at that point, it did really set the bar for all religion. For me, my expectation was that, in going to church, one should be going so as to achieve some benefit to one’s life that one actually desires oneself, and not because of some fuzzily-understood moral/social obligation to “go to church”.
The very next course I took in Scientology had to do with L. Ron Hubbard’s study technology. And among all things, one thing that I learned is that the first barrier to learning anything is the idea that you already know all about it. And if there’s someone who already “knows it all” it’s a spunky 9-year-old. But that one stable datum has carried me through a lot of study and efforts to really understand life around me.
An interesting illustration of this: I recently re-took that selfsame first course in Scientology – the Success Through Communication Course– doing tit together with my wife. And the same exact principles that taught a 9 year old the value of actually communicating with parents & friends, was able to re-teach my wife and me how to communicate to each other and to our kids. I wrote my thoughts on that here.
Question: What were some important milestones in your personal history that led to your choice to become a Scientologist?
Well, as I said above, I think that the key milestone for me which led me to being a Scientologist was where I took my first course – one that I completed at a small Portland, Maine outreach office of the Boston Scientology church.
The other reinforcing aspect I had to this was in watching my parents after taking Scientology services. They would sometimes go down to the Scientology religious retreat in Clearwater, Florida for counseling services and to study. Each time, when they came back, there would be this certain, difficult-to-describe, serenity or – really - certainty about their demeanor which indicated to me that they had resolved something personally, or had overcome something personally in their study, something difficult-to-describe which left them better and happier at the end. It was something that I knew I wanted as well – I wanted to know that I had looked into myself, and found in myself what I wanted to change, and had done what I could to make that better.
At the time, as a kid, the one thing that was real to me was that I wanted to be fast as a student, and I wanted to be happy and motivated. So, I approached a lot of my studies in Scientology with this in mind.
But later, the more I studied, the more I could see things in myself that were ripe for improvement. My level of responsibility, my ability to absorb & understand new subjects, my ability to choose my friends and to know when relationships with others were dragging me down – these were all things I learned that I could do something about through Scientology and weren’t just things I needed to “understand I couldn’t change” or “learn to live with”.
But I’d say that by the time I was about 11, I was completely, and by my ownvery conscious decision, a Scientologist.
And, as you can see from my writing, that’s not something I’ve regretted. 
Hopefully that answers your questions.
Setting & Achieving Goals for the Family – Use of the “Admin Scale”
March 7, 2012 By Leave a Comment
The latest from “The Scientology Parent”
Video: Targets & Goals and the Admin Scale
There are virtually unlimited parallels between the ways that the technology of running groups can be applied to the family. I’ve written a few articles (like this and this) on the subject, as the brilliance with which L. Ron Hubbard’s administrative teachings can be used to unsnarl problems in the family never ceases to amaze. Another such facet of this is one that seems to have infinite application – a technology which can align a group to be able to achieve its goals & purposes – one called the Administrative Scale.
Before getting into the beef of this, I’d recommend watching this short video here, which is available as part of the free Scientology course on Targets & Goals, as it explains the topic of Admin Scales quite brilliantly.
Cross-Policy in a Group
L. Ron Hubbard said the following in an organization policy he wrote on 6 December 1970, entitled “Third Dynamic De-Aberration”*:
“Illegal policy set at unauthorized levels jams the actions of a group and IS responsible for the inactivity, nonproduction or lack of team spirit.
“Counter-policy independently set jams the group together but inhibits its operation.” — LRH
This is straightforward to see in the setting of an organization. Let’s say the company CEO of a cake company says that “our hallmark is that we never skimp on quality of our ingredients.” But then, on the kitchen floor the lead chef spreads to his team that “it’s a PR line, and what matters most is value and price of our cakes.” The two get tangled, as Marketing tries to sell premium cakes, while the chefs deliver low-quality grocery store cardboard cakes. Obviously the problem derives from the counter-policy the lead chef spread.
But think of that same data with respect to a family. What if the husband was operating off of the policy that he and his wife were going to “do what they could” to be good parents, but the prime importance was their jobs and setting themselves up for retirement. And what if the wife was operating on the policy that the kids are all that matters, and the husband’s quality of life can always be sacrificed in the name of well-being of the kids. And what if they never spoke this out loud, but just operated on it as policy. Might serve to jam up the group.
Mr. Hubbard goes on to say in that same article:
“If we had a game going in which each player set his own rules, there would be no game. There would only be argument and conflict. — LRH”
Like that’s ever happened in a marriage. 
The Administrative Scale, or “Admin Scale”
Mr. Hubbard then developed a scale which gives a sequence and relative seniority of subjects related to organizing a group. These are:
- GOALS
- PURPOSES
- POLICY
- PLANS
- PROGRAMS
- PROJECTS
- ORDERS
- IDEAL SCENES
- STATS
- VALUABLE FINAL PRODUCTS
Video: The Administrative Scale – Targets & Goals
The video referenced above gives examples of a number of these in action for a business. But how about thinking about these with respect to your family? Sit down with your spouse & think a few of these through. What are your Goals for the family? Or, what are your goals as a husband orwife? When all is said & done, how will you measure your success? I.e. what statistics or metrics would define whether you’re doing well or poorly against your goals? Have you any plan in mind for how you want to achieve your goals for the family?
In the Third Dynamic De-Aberration reference listed above, Mr. Hubbard says of this scale:
“This scale is worked up and worked down UNTIL IT IS (EACH ITEM) IN FULL AGREEMENT WITH THE REMAINING ITEMS.
“Groups appear slow, inefficient, unhappy, inactive or quarrelsome only when these items are not aligned, made known and coordinated. — LRH”
You’re going to want to give that a good, thorough look. I know I did, and I could use more. Itemsabound which are possible hidden sources of trouble for the family. Like:
- Goals: Obviously, in a marriage, having two partners that share the main goals of the marriage is utterly essential. If you have one parent that is only career-minded, wants to make buckets of cash and then retire on an island, while the other one wants to raise a family and devote maximum time to volunteering in the community – there will be trouble.
- Ideal Scenes: What if the husband has an ideal scene in his head, that “ideally” he should not have to do any of the housework and that “ideally” the wife would just handle it all. Obviously, this will cause friction, unless of course the wife also has this ideal scene in mind as well and that’s agreed upon. Or what if the wife has an ideal scene that in “ideal circumstances” she should be able to be out with her girlfriends every weeknight partying, and that continuing to live out her college days of flirtyness with men & flashy clothes while married would be “ideal”. This may not be in agreement with ANY other items on her admin scale – especially if she has a goal of maintaining a strong marriage, or a plan to spend maximum weekend time with the kids helping them with their schooling.
- Purposes: What if the main purpose the wife had for raising kids was to “show her mother” that she could raise “well mannered kids”. Or what if the only purpose the husband had for being a dad was to let his son live out his previous life as a high-school basketball star? Both of these purposes might butt up against the rest of the scale.
I’m sure if you sit & think, you can come up with a number of families you’ve observed where points above just stuck out like sore thumbs. Like, “If the thing that matters most to you in life is your kids, why did you get a job where you can never be with them?” The list goes on.
In our marriage, my wife and I have done probably three different sessions of sitting down and going over our Admin Scale. We started out as 22-year-old whippersnappers with (thankfully) the same main goals and purposes. But many things have changed throughout the years – our jobs, our lives, and then with the arrival of kids – I no longer was just “husband” – I was “Daddy”. So, that changed many of my ideal scenes, plans, projects & statistics. And I think we’re about due to give it another look.
Give it a whirl!
Scientology Parent: Attack of the Why’s – And Why I Embrace Them
February 28, 2012 By Leave a Comment
My daughter is two and a half, and she’s well into the “attack of the Why’s”.
“Why is that car broken, daddy?”
“Why is that tractor spraying water, daddy?”
“Why did that baby do spit-up, daddy?”
“Why is the sun asleep now, daddy?”
I’ve met plenty of parents who positively dread the Whys. Evidently, they find it annoying that their child is constantly asking them, “Why, why why?”
I don’t find it annoying at all. I embrace it.
The explanation for such has a lot to do with my own philosophy about life. When I went to school at the Delphian School in Oregon (likely the single best move my parents ever made for my sister & I), I was studying chemistry & physics. A lot of what I was studying seemed inapplicable to any professions I was considering. But, the faculty of the school very adroitly suggested that I work out for myself why I was studying it before I went any further.
After some reflection, I did end up deciding that I actually wanted to know how my world worked, and that the more I understood my surroundings, the better I felt. I made a decision that I wanted to actually understand anything I saw around me, so that virtually nothing would be left in my surroundings that was a mystery to me. And that’s what I want for my kids.
Application of Study Technology to Life
There’s a core piece of Scientology technology at work here. And that’s L. Ron Hubbard’s Study Technology. A cornerstone of such, is that in studying, one does not go past words that one does not understand. And if you encounter them, you get them cleared up fully to where you understand them conceptually. Go past misunderstood words & symbols, and you end up yawning, tired, blank, and end up leaving courses of study you ‘re in. Please see this video for a further explanation of this phenomena at work.
But extend this out to everything you encounter in life – advertisements, newspaper articles, text printed in your car’s dashboard, etc. Your car has a button that says, “Traction Control Off”. What’s “traction control”? How does it work? Your car says “fuel injection” on it. What’s that? The lights you go past on your city street are yellowish-orange in hue. Why’s that? You ride on a subway with signs that say “750VDC WARNING!” What’s that mean? How does your subway get electricity to run?
My philosophy is that you can either pass these signs & just blank out on them, and choose to not understand your world – and live in the partial fog that goes along with that, or you can actually understand the things around you. Understanding breeds control and responsibility for your environment.
How this applies to my Parenting Philosophy
I want my children to have total control & understanding of the world around them. I do NOT want them operating in a fog where life sort of happens around them somehow, and they’re not active, understanding participants of it.
As such, I am not shying away from bringing my daughter to a construction site to have her look at excavators & bulldozers. It’s not that I’m trying to make her a tomboy who likes tractors – I want her to understand how houses & roads are built! I want her to understand how airplanes fly, how engines work, how lightbulbs operate, how electricity is made, how subways run, and how food is grown. When she’s a grown-up, and someone says that their computer is busted, I don’t want her to look at it with a foggy stare and be scared to touch it – I ‘d want her to be able to flip it over and replace the broken parts if need be.
I want my kids to end up as competent, responsible adults who can control the environment they’re in. And that starts with understanding it.
So, while some parents might roll their eyes and tell them to get back to their video games when their kids start asking too many questions, I instead relish another opportunity to help them explore their world. And hopefully, with each question resolved, that can be one less misunderstood word they’ve got in their environment.
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