Five Things I’d Say to Kaitlyn and Shawn Now That They’re Engaged 

Five Things I’d Say to Kaitlyn and Shawn Now That They’re Engaged  July 28, 2015

TheMoment

I’ve been asked several times since last night’s finale of The Bachelorette aired what advice I would give to Kaitlyn and Shawn, so here goes! As the show’s record indicates, relationships post-Bachelor are tough, but if you are committed to loving one another, you can join the ranks of the five married couples the show has produced thus far. 

1) Commit. This is the most important piece of advice I know of. If you truly want to spend the rest of your lives together, you must commit to loving your partner no matter the circumstances. Commit to living in the same city, commit to building a healthy relationship, commit to sticking together through hard times and commit to showing your partner how much you love them each and every day. 

2) Work. Every relationship takes work, especially relationships formed on TV! I remember the few months between filming and the last episode of my season when Catherine and I had to keep our relationship a secret- everything was so exciting. We were in love and we couldn’t imagine having hard times or experiencing any issues that might endanger the relationship. That naivety wore off pretty quickly once we were thrust into the real world. Your relationship is going to run into issues both big and small. It’s imperative that you find a way to work through them.  If you do, you’ll come out even stronger. I look at our marriage now and am amazed how much we’ve grown since those first few months of being together.  (Catherine’s responsible for most of it.)

3) Don’t believe the hype. Despite the attention you receive, the talk shows you’re on, or the money you’re offered, you’re still just a normal person. Don’t let the “fame” stuff go to your head. I’ve heard first hand from a couple of different bachelors how being in the spotlight was detrimental to their relationship. Don’t let the bright lights and sparkly things distract you from the person you love. 

4) Pursue him. This one is just for Kaitlyn. I know traditionally the man should pursue the woman and that’s exactly what Shawn did on The Bachelorette, but now it’s time for Kaitlyn to pursue Shawn. Kaitlyn’s been in the driver’s seat for most of their time together and that can easily make the relationship feel one sided, especially considering the massive amount of attention that will be directed towards her and not Shawn. Kaitlyn should make sure Shawn knows how much she would fight for his affection if the roles were reversed. 

5) Pursue Him. This time it’s a different Him. This Him is God. I understand this advice won’t be accepted by everyone but it’s my prayer that you will both seek God together. I can tell you firsthand there’s nothing better than a relationship founded on faith. God loves you so much and he wants to be at the center of it all.  

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