5 things I’ve learned in the past 2 years of marriage

5 things I’ve learned in the past 2 years of marriage February 9, 2016

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Catherine and I celebrated our two year anniversary a couple of weeks ago, so I thought today would be a good day to write about what I’ve learned during our first two years of marriage.

1) Marriage is beautiful. It’s not always easy, but it’s beautiful how two people come together as one and take on life as a team. The unbreakable bond Catherine and I have gives me a sense of security in a world that can be so unpredictable. Before getting married, I had no idea how great it was sharing every aspect of my life with someone else.

2) Marriage has challenged me to be better. Someone once told me before Catherine and I got married that marriage can often reflect and amplify your own faults. Boy, was he right! I’m a flawed person and those flaws didn’t always make themselves apparent when I was only taking care of myself. Now that I’m sharing this life with Catherine, I’ve realized that my shortcomings can have a negative affect on her.  So, it’s been a challenge to identify them and correct them. In the process of doing so, I feel like I’m becoming both a better person and a better husband.

3) Marriage has challenged me to be better spiritually. The Bible is full of examples of how husbands should love their wives. One such example is Ephesians 5:25, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.” I gotta be honest with you, this is a big challenge at times. I know how much Jesus loves me and how he will always forgive me but sometimes it’s hard to love your spouse like that when you’re upset (or feel like they owe you an apology). But according to Paul’s words in Ephesians, it’s my job to love and forgive my wife no matter what. So each day, I try to love my wife the way God loves his church even when it doesn’t always come easy.

4) Marriage will increase pizza intake. I’ve always loved pizza but my consumption of the delicious food group has quadrupled since being married. Here’s why: when you’re married you have a person to encourage you to fulfill your bad idea. For example, I might say “pizza sounds really good tonight.” Catherine will echo that sentiment with “ooh yeah, let’s order pizza.” And 20-30 minutes later, the Dominos man is knocking on our door. When I was single, I had a fighting chance to talk myself out of it but the spousal pizza co-signer makes all the difference.

5) Marriage has changed me.  This isn’t a bad thing. I was once a typical “dude” who was lacking emotion, empathy and tenderness. Being married has definitely helped me gain some of those essential qualities because I’ve learned my wife desperately needs those things from me. I don’t always get it right, but I’m trying. And yes, I’m still mostly “dude,” but now I have some tools which help me be a better husband that I didn’t have two years ago.

Buy my New York Times Best Selling Book For the Right Reasons: America’s Favorite Bachelor on Faith, Love, Marriage, and Why Nice Guys Finish First to learn more about how Catherine and I met!

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