The Myth of Male Privilege?


A friend sent me a link to a blog post, written by a mom about boys: 11 things Only Parents of Boys Understand. It’s well done, funny, and insightful. But in “thing #2” came that familiar storyline that we continue to perpetrate to the detriment of our sons: 2. Simultaneously hating and being grateful for [Read More...]

Beer, the NFL, and Domestic Violence


OK…I’ll dive in and take the heat: Does anyone else find it a bit disingenuous that a beer company (one of the NFL’s biggest sponsors) said that they were not satisfied with the way the NFL was handling the domestic abuse issues? Ninety-two percent of the domestic abuse assailants reported use of alcohol or other [Read More...]

The Imperative for Brain-Washing our Kids


I’ve been a pastor for over 30 years. For the last 9 years a part of my focus has been on the challenges boys face in the 21st Century, and the challenge churches face in keeping boys engaged. 70-90% of all boys will leave the Christian Church, and most won’t come back. Often, when I [Read More...]

Sunday Schooling Our Kids Out of Church

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About 40 years ago a profound shift took place in many Christian congregations across the country…for all the right reasons…with one troubling unintended consequence: In the 1960’s and 1970’s, my generation, Baby Boomers, rebelled against the “institutional church” just as we did with every other institution our parents built/supported.  We rebelled by dropping out: 2/3rds [Read More...]

It Takes a Man to Raise a Boy Into a Man


In the twenty-first century, the overwhelming majority of boys are being mentored primarily by women: moms and grandmas, female preschool teachers, female elementary teachers, female Sunday school teachers, and, more often than not, educational TV shows skewed to girls. A few fortunate boys have a dad, uncle, or grandpa to pour male energy into the [Read More...]

The Hole in a Man’s Soul–The Father Wound


If you dig deep enough into the soul of a man who for some reason seems a bit lost in life, or maybe real lost, you’ll usually find a man who never received affirmation from his father. In groups, I often ask men, by a show of hands, how many never received a blessing from [Read More...]

Real Boys Don’t “Fall in Love” with Jesus


Imagine dropping your son off at football practice and as he’s walking toward the field you yell out: Son, one of my hopes for you this season is that you fall in love with your coach! Or imagine saying to your son: Son, my greatest desire, as your dad/mom, is that you fall in love [Read More...]

The Tyranny of Boy-Blindess: The Fog of Gender Wars


The Fog of War: The unavoidable aspect of war wherein the intelligence gathered is always incomplete to a degree, thereby making any decisions concerning said war a bit… foggy. (Urban Dictionary) Our boys are in crisis: 70% of all D’s and F’s are given to boys 85% of stimulant addressing meds prescribed in the world [Read More...]