In the twenty-first century, the overwhelming majority of boys are being mentored primarily by women: moms and grandmas, female preschool teachers, female elementary teachers, female Sunday school teachers, and, more often than not, educational TV shows skewed to girls. A few fortunate boys have a dad, uncle, or grandpa to pour male energy into the boy. For far too many boys, however, Dad no longer lives at home, is disengaged even though he does live at home, or feels inadequate to … [Read more...]
Imagine dropping your son off at football practice and as he’s walking toward the field you yell out: Son, one of my hopes for you this season is that you fall in love with your coach!Or imagine saying to your son: Son, my greatest desire, as your dad/mom, is that you fall in love with me.Creepy! Ick! Yuck!Yet that’s precisely what much of Christianity says today to boys (and to girls) about Jesus. I’m reading an absolutely exceptional book on parenting that starts out with this fl … [Read more...]
If you’ve worked in men’s ministry, or if you know anything about men’s ministry in the Church today, you no doubt read the title of this post and thought, “yah, right!” More smoke. More mirrors. No substance.It’s tough slogging in the men’s ministry world in most churches today. First of all, most churches aren’t doing a great job of reaching men at all let alone getting some of them into a ministry focused on men. Second, while there are all kinds of great, exceptional programs and cur … [Read more...]
What Does it Profit Parents to Over-Program their Children….and Lose the Souls of the Kids in the Process?
At the end of a seminar I led on boys a man in his 70’s pulled me aside to ask a few questions. In doing so he made some interesting observations. He noted that, in his opinion:Far too many parents today over-program their children often at the expense of building character in them. Rather than starting with the question: What kind of person do I want my child to be?, parents today seem to be asking, What kinds of activities does my child need to participate in in order to keep up with th … [Read more...]
I was interviewed the other day by a newspaper reporter on the topic of men and the Church. She mentioned the statistics about how men are leaving the Church or not attending church in the first place and then asked, “Why does it matter? Why should the Church care about reaching men?” The essence of the question was: If men don’t want to go to church, so what? It wasn’t asked negatively. The reporter followed up with great questions. But the initial question had that undertone of why should … [Read more...]
These are tough days to be a boy!Boys are falling behind girls in virtually every area of education from pre-school to college The average reading skills of a 17 year old boy have declined in the last 20 years 17-18 of the top 20 growing professions favor the verbal and relational skills of women over men Boys are growing up in a world without a compelling vision for noble manhoodThese are tough days to be the Church:Sexual scandals in the Catholic Church Angry, fringe … [Read more...]