The Imperative for Brain-Washing our Kids

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I’ve been a pastor for over 30 years. For the last 9 years a part of my focus has been on the challenges boys face in the 21st Century, and the challenge churches face in keeping boys engaged. 70-90% of all boys will leave the Christian Church, and most won’t come back.Often, when I write something about how the church is losing boys, I’ll get a response that says something like this: Good! That means less kids being brain-washed!  I assume the writer of that comment believes that religi … [Read more...]

Sunday Schooling Our Kids Out of Church

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About 40 years ago a profound shift took place in many Christian congregations across the country…for all the right reasons…with one troubling unintended consequence:In the 1960’s and 1970’s, my generation, Baby Boomers, rebelled against the “institutional church” just as we did with every other institution our parents built/supported.  We rebelled by dropping out: 2/3rds of my generation dropped out of church.  In the late 1970’s/early 1980’s, innovative pastors and congregations of all size … [Read more...]

The Tyranny of Boy-Blindess: The Fog of Gender Wars

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The Fog of War: The unavoidable aspect of war wherein the intelligence gathered is always incomplete to a degree, thereby making any decisions concerning said war a bit... foggy. (Urban Dictionary) Our boys are in crisis:70% of all D’s and F’s are given to boys 85% of stimulant addressing meds prescribed in the world are prescribed to US boys The reading skills of the average 17 year old boy have declined over the last 20 years Boys are falling behind girls in almost every area of ed … [Read more...]

Is it Time to Finally Say…These are Good Days to be a Girl?

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For over a generation we have been fighting for our girls…creating a world where they can be anything they want to be; a world where they are treated as equals to boys.That hard work has paid off:Girls have now passed boys in almost every level of education More girls than boys take college prep classes in school More girls than boys take the SAT Girls get better grades than boys and graduate with high GPA’s More girls than boys are attending and graduating from col … [Read more...]

A Grandpa’s Prayer for his Granddaughter

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Dear Clover (age 4 ½),From the moment you were born (even before then) I have prayed God’s deepest blessing on your life.As you grow into a woman, I pray the following for you:That you will always know, no matter what, that God loves you and will always walk through life with you That you will always know, no matter what, that you are God’s beloved daughter and that he will never give up on you That you will always lean into the God who leans into you That you will hear the inv … [Read more...]

The Self-Esteem Obesity Epidemic

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My kids grew up in the era of the self-esteem movement: that era when, no matter what my kids did, good or bad, they were patted on the back or given an award simply for trying…or being…or showing up…It was/is an era without winners or losers, because losing was somehow seen as detrimental to healthy growth.   So instead, everybody always won.  Nobody was better than the other.  Building up the self-esteem of our kids was priority number 1.  Instilling a “I believe in myself, I like myself, I fee … [Read more...]

A Girl’s Santa Wish List

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A Father: Who will protect me, guide me, encourage me, love me, and show me how to interact with good men.A Mom: Who will listen to my heart, who will support me, love me, and pour good feminine energy into me.Mentors: Women who will walk beside me and ahead of me, modeling for me what a good woman looks like, encouraging me, challenging me, and stretching me along the way.A School: That understands how my girl brain works and shapes my education accordingly, to help me be all that … [Read more...]

What Does it Profit Parents to Over-Program their Children….and Lose the Souls of the Kids in the Process?

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At the end of a seminar I led on boys a man in his 70’s pulled me aside to ask a few questions.  In doing so he made some interesting observations.  He noted that, in his opinion:Far too many parents today over-program their children often at the expense of building character in them.  Rather than starting with the question: What kind of person do I want my child to be?, parents today seem to be asking, What kinds of activities does my child need to participate in in order to keep up with th … [Read more...]


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