The Emasculation of Boyhood

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It’s tough being a boy these days.Just ask 6-year-old Hunter Yelton who was suspended from school for sexual harassment; i.e., he kissed a girl on her hand.Just ask 10-year-old Johnny Jones who was suspended from school and threatened with expulsion for “firearms related issues;” i.e., he pretended he was shooting a bow and arrow.Just ask 8-year-old Jordan Bennett who was suspended from school for using his finger to simulate a gun while playing cops and robbers with a friend … [Read more...]

A Girl’s Santa Wish List

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A Father: Who will protect me, guide me, encourage me, love me, and show me how to interact with good men.A Mom: Who will listen to my heart, who will support me, love me, and pour good feminine energy into me.Mentors: Women who will walk beside me and ahead of me, modeling for me what a good woman looks like, encouraging me, challenging me, and stretching me along the way.A School: That understands how my girl brain works and shapes my education accordingly, to help me be all that … [Read more...]

A Boy’s Santa Wish List

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A dad: Who will be involved in my life, who will teach me to be a good man, and who will be proud of me.A mom: Who will always love me and support me.Mentors: Good men who will walk with me into noble manhood through modeling it, teaching it, and affirming it.A school: That understands how my boy brain learns and teach me accordingly, to empower me to be the best man that I can be.A church: That understands how my boy brain hears the call to follow Jesus and commits itself to … [Read more...]

Why You Should Care About the “Boy Crisis”

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My concern for the future of boys is personal.  I have two grandsons, both nearing age three.  I’m the pastor of a church with boys of all ages.  These are real boys, boys I care about, who are growing up in a world:Where boys are increasingly falling behind girls in school Where the reading skills of teenage boys have been in decline for 20 years Where fewer males are attending and graduating from college Where increasing numbers of boys are being raised without positive male energy b … [Read more...]

What Does it Profit Parents to Over-Program their Children….and Lose the Souls of the Kids in the Process?

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At the end of a seminar I led on boys a man in his 70’s pulled me aside to ask a few questions.  In doing so he made some interesting observations.  He noted that, in his opinion:Far too many parents today over-program their children often at the expense of building character in them.  Rather than starting with the question: What kind of person do I want my child to be?, parents today seem to be asking, What kinds of activities does my child need to participate in in order to keep up with th … [Read more...]

Of Dolphins, Hazings, Boys, and Manhood

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The “bullying” story coming out of the Miami Dolphins locker room has dominated the news for the last few weeks.  Though the details still aren’t fully known, it hasn’t stopped the public debate over hazings and bullying.  The responses to Jonathan Martin leaving the team over alleged bullying by his teammate, Richie Incognito, have illustrated the confusion we have in our culture over how boys and men interact with each other, how they become men, and how they prove their manhood.  (As an intere … [Read more...]

Why Should the Church Care About Reaching Men?

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I was interviewed the other day by a newspaper reporter on the topic of men and the Church.  She mentioned the statistics about how men are leaving the Church or not attending church in the first place and then asked, “Why does it matter? Why should the Church care about reaching men?”  The essence of the question was: If men don’t want to go to church, so what?  It wasn’t asked negatively.  The reporter followed up with great questions.  But the initial question had that undertone of why should … [Read more...]

Can’t Girls be Superheroes, too?

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You get the best out of a boy by stimulating his desire for greatness and then telling him he has a long way to go: that he can perhaps achieve something marvelous but he must be humble and work hard for it.                                    --Roy F. Baumeister, Is There Anything Good About Men?I receive some occasional pushback on the connection between boys and heroes, and my emphasis on calling boys into heroic manhood. The pushback goes something like this:            Why does b … [Read more...]


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