Are Children’s/Youth Ministries the New Leper Colonies?

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The little children were being brought to Jesus in order that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples spoke sternly to those who brought them…(Matthew 20:13) The disciples had a knack for protecting Jesus from those they considered unimportant. They wanted to send away the 5000 to feed themselves. They wanted to send away the Canaanite woman who wanted the scraps from Jesus’ table. And, they wanted to send away the children. Because Jesus was simply too tired, too busy, and per … [Read more...]

Sunday Schooling Our Kids Out of Church

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About 40 years ago a profound shift took place in many Christian congregations across the country…for all the right reasons…with one troubling unintended consequence:In the 1960’s and 1970’s, my generation, Baby Boomers, rebelled against the “institutional church” just as we did with every other institution our parents built/supported.  We rebelled by dropping out: 2/3rds of my generation dropped out of church.  In the late 1970’s/early 1980’s, innovative pastors and congregations of all size … [Read more...]

It Takes a Man to Raise a Boy Into a Man

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In the twenty-first century, the overwhelming majority of boys are being mentored primarily by women: moms and grandmas, female preschool teachers, female elementary teachers, female Sunday school teachers, and, more often than not, educational TV shows skewed to girls. A few fortunate boys have a dad, uncle, or grandpa to pour male energy into the boy. For far too many boys, however, Dad no longer lives at home, is disengaged even though he does live at home, or feels inadequate to … [Read more...]

Real Boys Don’t “Fall in Love” with Jesus

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Imagine dropping your son off at football practice and as he’s walking toward the field you yell out: Son, one of my hopes for you this season is that you fall in love with your coach!Or imagine saying to your son: Son, my greatest desire, as your dad/mom, is that you fall in love with me.Creepy!  Ick!  Yuck!Yet that’s precisely what much of Christianity says today to boys (and to girls) about Jesus.  I’m reading an absolutely exceptional book on parenting that starts out with this fl … [Read more...]

The Tyranny of Boy-Blindess: The Fog of Gender Wars

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The Fog of War: The unavoidable aspect of war wherein the intelligence gathered is always incomplete to a degree, thereby making any decisions concerning said war a bit... foggy. (Urban Dictionary) Our boys are in crisis:70% of all D’s and F’s are given to boys 85% of stimulant addressing meds prescribed in the world are prescribed to US boys The reading skills of the average 17 year old boy have declined over the last 20 years Boys are falling behind girls in almost every area of ed … [Read more...]

The Decade of the Boy (Guest Post by Michael Gurian)

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For the last several months a group of writers has been focusing on the issues of boys and men by collaborating through the writing and sharing of blog posts in order to bring greater awareness to the unique challenges boys and men face in the 21st Century.  Twice a month these writers are posting the same posts on their various media formats to spread the word and to introduce their audiences to the great work of their peers.  Today is our final post, featuring once again New York Times B … [Read more...]

For the Sake of our Children: Redefining the Legacy of Success

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I wrote this for the Huffington Post last year at the request of Arianna Huffington in reply to an email I sent her responding to a new discussion she is holding on how to redefine success for women.  Make sense?  :)The current definition of success, in which we drive ourselves into the ground, if  not the grave, and in which working to the point of exhaustion and burnout is considered a badge of honor, was created by men. It's a model of success that's not working for women, and it's not wor … [Read more...]

If We Want our Kids to Grow Up…Perhaps We Need to Grow Up!

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I was at my granddaughter’s soccer game last week.  (She’s going to be 5 this month.)  The team is made up of 4-6 year olds. During the game, a grandpa from the opposing team yelled at his grandson: Next time I come, I better see you score a goal!  This on top of other berating comments yelled at his grandson throughout the game.  The kid couldn’t have been more than 6 years old!I know this an ongoing story—a story played out on fields and courts across the country.  Story after story has be … [Read more...]


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