The Imperative for Brain-Washing our Kids

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I’ve been a pastor for over 30 years. For the last 9 years a part of my focus has been on the challenges boys face in the 21st Century, and the challenge churches face in keeping boys engaged. 70-90% of all boys will leave the Christian Church, and most won’t come back.Often, when I write something about how the church is losing boys, I’ll get a response that says something like this: Good! That means less kids being brain-washed!  I assume the writer of that comment believes that religi … [Read more...]

Are Children’s/Youth Ministries the New Leper Colonies?

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The little children were being brought to Jesus in order that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples spoke sternly to those who brought them…(Matthew 20:13) The disciples had a knack for protecting Jesus from those they considered unimportant. They wanted to send away the 5000 to feed themselves. They wanted to send away the Canaanite woman who wanted the scraps from Jesus’ table. And, they wanted to send away the children. Because Jesus was simply too tired, too busy, and per … [Read more...]

Sunday Schooling Our Kids Out of Church

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About 40 years ago a profound shift took place in many Christian congregations across the country…for all the right reasons…with one troubling unintended consequence:In the 1960’s and 1970’s, my generation, Baby Boomers, rebelled against the “institutional church” just as we did with every other institution our parents built/supported.  We rebelled by dropping out: 2/3rds of my generation dropped out of church.  In the late 1970’s/early 1980’s, innovative pastors and congregations of all size … [Read more...]

Real Boys Don’t “Fall in Love” with Jesus

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Imagine dropping your son off at football practice and as he’s walking toward the field you yell out: Son, one of my hopes for you this season is that you fall in love with your coach!Or imagine saying to your son: Son, my greatest desire, as your dad/mom, is that you fall in love with me.Creepy!  Ick!  Yuck!Yet that’s precisely what much of Christianity says today to boys (and to girls) about Jesus.  I’m reading an absolutely exceptional book on parenting that starts out with this fl … [Read more...]

The Tyranny of Boy-Blindess: The Fog of Gender Wars

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The Fog of War: The unavoidable aspect of war wherein the intelligence gathered is always incomplete to a degree, thereby making any decisions concerning said war a bit... foggy. (Urban Dictionary) Our boys are in crisis:70% of all D’s and F’s are given to boys 85% of stimulant addressing meds prescribed in the world are prescribed to US boys The reading skills of the average 17 year old boy have declined over the last 20 years Boys are falling behind girls in almost every area of ed … [Read more...]

The Key to Building a High Impact Men’s Ministry

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If you’ve worked in men’s ministry, or if you know anything about men’s ministry in the Church today, you no doubt read the title of this post and thought, “yah, right!”  More smoke.  More mirrors.  No substance.It’s tough slogging in the men’s ministry world in most churches today.  First of all, most churches aren’t doing a great job of reaching men at all let alone getting some of them into a ministry focused on men.  Second, while there are all kinds of great, exceptional programs and cur … [Read more...]

Dad: Coach, Cheerleader, and Companion. (Guest Post by Dave Brown)

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For the next several months a group of writers focused on the issues of boys and men are collaborating through the writing and sharing of blog posts in order to bring greater awareness to the unique challenges boys and men face in the 21st Century.  Twice a month these writers will be posting the same posts on their various media formats to spread the word and to introduce their audiences to the great work of their peers.  Today’s post features Dave Brown, Director and Pastor-at-Large, Was … [Read more...]

Finally: Unmasking the Ultimate Culprit Behind the Boy Crisis

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I had a fascinating “discussion” with a Facebook friend a few weeks ago.  He has been a supporter of my work on boys and is passionate about the issue as well.  But he took me to task, saying I had “lost it,” I’d “lost focus,” I’d “contaminated my ministry to boys,” all because I also, from time to time, address the issues and challenges that our girls are facing in the 21st Century.  Bottom line, I had sold my soul to the “feminist agenda” and had therefore lost my ability to fight for our boys. … [Read more...]


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