It Takes a Man to Raise a Boy Into a Man

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In the twenty-first century, the overwhelming majority of boys are being mentored primarily by women: moms and grandmas, female preschool teachers, female elementary teachers, female Sunday school teachers, and, more often than not, educational TV shows skewed to girls. A few fortunate boys have a dad, uncle, or grandpa to pour male energy into the boy. For far too many boys, however, Dad no longer lives at home, is disengaged even though he does live at home, or feels inadequate to … [Read more...]

The Hole in a Man’s Soul–The Father Wound

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If you dig deep enough into the soul of a man who for some reason seems a bit lost in life, or maybe real lost, you’ll usually find a man who never received affirmation from his father. In groups, I often ask men, by a show of hands, how many never received a blessing from Dad. More often than not, the overwhelming majority of men raise their hands.In a session on manhood I was leading, a group of four high school boys talked about their dads and the lack of Dad’s blessing in their lives. One … [Read more...]

Why Should the Church Care About Reaching Men?

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I was interviewed the other day by a newspaper reporter on the topic of men and the Church.  She mentioned the statistics about how men are leaving the Church or not attending church in the first place and then asked, “Why does it matter? Why should the Church care about reaching men?”  The essence of the question was: If men don’t want to go to church, so what?  It wasn’t asked negatively.  The reporter followed up with great questions.  But the initial question had that undertone of why should … [Read more...]

The One Thing A Man Can Do that A Woman Can’t

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If we do not provide a sacred role for our boys as they grow, they are more likely to join a gang, abuse their lovers, abandon their children, subsist in emotional isolation, and become addicted, hyper-materialistic, lonely, and  unhappy.  A boy needs structure and discipline in which to learn who he is.  He needs to live a journey that has clear responsibilities and goals.  He needs a role in life.  Without these, without the role training that accompanies these, he does not know his sacred and … [Read more...]

The High Cost of Bored Boys

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The central problem of every society is to define appropriate roles for its men. --Anthropologist Margaret Mead Over the last several months we have witnessed far too many stories about “bad” boys—boys setting off a bomb at the Boston marathon; a boy taking up a weapon to shoot his fellow students; to name a few.  But what makes this latest “bad” boys crime so shocking—the shooting of an Australian man—is the seemingly cavalier attitude of the shooters.  They were bored.These boys certainl … [Read more...]


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